Stinkies
 

I have noticed that a lot of these posts in this section fall under the label of stinks and getting rid of them. It makes me wonder why we all stink so much. Therefore, to make the TFP a better, less stinky place, I am going to give a how-to instructional post on how to bathe.

Taking a bath is a nice way to relax and destinkify. It cleanses the body, and relaxes the muscles. If done regularly, it can even bring you higher up in the social structure.

This is just a simple lesson in taking baths.

#1- Make sure your bathtub is empty- no pets, towels, or other people.

#2- Put a stopper in the drain. This way, the water will stay in the bathtub.

#3- Fill the tub. You will want to fill it with warm to hot water, because a cold bath is no fun unless you are in the desert. Depending on what kind of faucet you have, you may need to twist the faucet, or pull it out, or twist two seperate valves. We won't get into that here. When filling it, you want to remember the basic laws of displacement- when you get in, the water level will rise, so do not overfill. (I cannot remember the name, but the guy who invented this used this to discover the volume of things using a crown)

#4- When the tub is full, strip down to your birthday suit and get into the water. If it is very hot, get in very slowly or your heart is in for a big shock.

#5- Relax for a bit. Get used to the water. Let your body feel warm and relaxed.

#6- When you are ready and wet enough, start to wash. You will need some soap for this. It can be a bar of soap, or body wash, or even gel. For this instruction, we will use a bar of soap as an example.

Take the soap and rub it over your skin, making a lather as you go. You will want to do this over every inch of your body that you can reach, paying special attention to the armpits and the nether regions. When you are done, you should have a nice layer of soapy lather all over your body.

#7- Rinse. This is the easiest part. Just put all of the soapy areas of your body back under the water and get all of the lather off. When you feel you have rinsed enough, you are done.

#8- Get out of the tub. Stand up (be careful not to slip), grab a towel and wrap it around your body, and let the water back out of the tub by releasing the stopper.

Some things you may want to remember while taking a bath.

- Do not pee or poop in the tub- this defeats the purpose of bathing.
- Do not wash your eyeballs. This hurts.
- Do not leave pubic hairs on the bar of soap.
- Remember to rinse the tub out when you are done.

Hopefully, this will cut down on some of the stink related posts.

Well done.

Archimedes.

that's a pretty good how-to. i'm a little confused on some parts, is there an instructional video available?:D

on a serious note, i would suggest that on step 7-rinse, that you stand up, pull stopper from drain , and as the water drains, turn on the shower(warm to hot ) and rinse while standing. as water runs downhill, you'll be able to get off all soapy residue. and will also help with the rinsing of the tub.

once all the water is gone, and you are squeaky clean, then move on to step 8.
and your tips were very good. i always wondered why my eyes hurt after a bath:)

Just doing my part!

Bathes aren't very clean. You're washing in your own filth. I suggest a shower.. I DO have a shower instructional video I made.. but I'll save that for another time. ;)

You didnt tell us to rinse the tub out to begin with,You forgot hair washing and you didn't mention the benifits of anti-bacterial soap,or exfoliation.You didnt tell anyone to dry off well so mold doesn't grow on them and you didnt remind us to get dressed.Anyone who needs these instructions needs the whole deal.Ya know?

If you rinse the tub out each time you are done, in theory you will not have to rinse it out when you begin.

Remember, this is just a general how to, so that at least the stink will be taken off.

And getting dressed is not part of bathing. Some people are never clothed- nudists- why would I tell them to get dressed?

You are right about the drying off, though. Don't forget to do that!