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- - Bonsai! (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-knowledge-how/41730-bonsai.html)

Somehow, soemone's avatar brought up an issue that I thought had been settled long ago. When I saw it, I just assumed that everyone had either heard about bonsai kitten and been told it was a hoax, or had the good sense to figure out that eople aren't really selling square cats. But, for those of you who didn't hear, or were too disgusted to go past the front page (this is understandable if you're particularly sensetive to such things,) here's the real story.

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/bonsai.htm

Quote:

Claim: A web site is selling merchandise to help people create 'bonsai kittens.'
Status: False.

Examples:

[Collected on the Internet, 2001]
To anyone with love and respect for life: In New York there is a Japanese who sells bonsai-kittens". Sounds like fun huh? NOT! These animals are squeezed into a bottle. Their urine and feces are removed through probes. They feed them with a kind of tube. They feed them chemicals to keep their bones soft and flexible so the kittens grow into the shape of the bottle. The animals will stay their as long as they live. They can't walk or move or wash themselves. Bonsai-kittens are becoming a fashion in New York and Asia.

See this horror at: http://www.bonsaikitten.com

Please sign this email in protest against these tortures. If you receive an email with over 500 names, please send a copy to: anacheca@hotmail.com From there this protest will be sent to USA and Mexican animal protection organizations.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Collected on the Internet, 2002]
FOR EVERYONE WHO LOVES ANIMALS

A site that we were able to shut last year has returned. We have to try to shut it down again! A Japanese man in New York breeds and sells kittens that are called BONSAI CATS.

That would sound cute, if it weren't kittens that were put in to little bottles after being given a muscle relaxant and then locked up for the rest of their lives!! The cats are fed through a straw and have a small tube for their faeces. The skeleton of the cat will take on the form of the bottle as the kitten grows. The The cats never get the opportunity to move.

They are used as original and exclusive souvenirs. These are the latest trends in New York, China, Indonesia and New Zealand .

If you think you can handle it, view http://www.bonsaikitten.com and have a look at the methods being used to put these little kittens into bottles. This petition needs 500 names, so please put your one name on it!!! Copy the text into a new email and put your name on the bottom, then send it to everyone you know. If you notice that there are 500 names on the list, please send it to: anacheca@hotmail.com

Origins: Bonsai kittens are not real. Nobody is making bonsai kittens. Nobody is selling equipment to help people make bonsai kittens. The Bonsai Kitten web site is a joke, not an actual promotion for the making of bonsai kittens. Investigations by law enforcement agencies, including the FBI, have already determined no real cats were harmed in the creation of the pictures used on the Bonsai Kitten web site. Signing a petition to shut down the Bonsai Kitten web site will not prevent any kittens from being harmed, because no kittens were harmed in the first place.

It was all a joke, one which some say was in terribly poor taste. If that was your reaction, take comfort in the knowledge that many others thought the same.

How could you have known the Bonsai Kitten site was a satire despite its lack of "This is a joke!" banners emblazoned across it? Satire doesn't always announce itself as such (some feel that would ruin its humor), so in cases like this, one dusts off the common sense and aims it at the problem:

The process described is impossible -- animals so treated would die long before they could be "molded."

The web site offers no way to purchase the materials advertised -- a real commercial enterprise wouldn't build consumer interest through a flashy web site then fail to offer anything for sale.

"Bonsai Kitten" displays no actual pictures of the finished product -- there are no molded kittens on display.

I was sure it couldn't be real when I saw it, but it was disturbing none the less. Thanks for the clarification on the issue. :)

OK.....perhaps I was the last person on the internet who hadn't seen bonsaikitten.com....but it is absolutely hysterical. You have to read the guestbook. LMAO.

I thought that webiste was HILARIOUS when I saw it. It never even occured to me, that people would take it seriously!
Some people! :rolleyes:

I understand it's a hoax, but I still don't find it funny. Even if it is totally impractical, it gives the morons out there ideas. I mean, I'm sure there are more than a few people that look at that and think, "hey, cat in a bottle, now that would be a funny thing to get drunk and do!"

Ok, maybe not, but I still worry.

<-- obviously overly sensitive when it comes to animals

Nothing wrong with that Lexi. After all, Bonsaikitten isn't all that far from the truth. Corgis get their ears duct taped up so they won't grow naturally so they meet the "breed standard." Something tells me the Corgi would rather avoid the tape than win a show. Many breeds of dogs get their inner ear flaps sliced open shortly after birth so the ears grow somewhat wrinkled and look "cute." Others get their tails lopped off. How are these practices any different from shoving a cat in a jar, except that they're real and bonsaikitten is fake.

The things people do to animals in the name of vanity amount to nothing more than cruel atrocities. That's probably why that site isn't overly funny to you or to me. It's too close to the truth.

(I won't even get started on pet stores or puppy mills)

Satire in action... pissing off people left and right.

I loved it. The site was hilarious to look at, and plain to see as satire. Seems like those who are overly sensitive and likely to jump to conclusions have a lot of free time on their hands.

I must say, cat juggling would be a lot easier if they were squeezed into the shape of a sphere! The kittysphere just killed me, and I like cats.

BANZAIIIiiiii! Daniel San

Yeah, I totally believed it months ago when I first heard of it...call me naive and over sesitive- but I thought it was disgusting, and i now that it is a sick fuckin joke.

I thought it was halarious... Its kinda obvious it was only a hoax and I sat here laughing my ass off... I dunno call me sick.. but I just thought it was funny...

and YES I did know it was impossible to do.. :p

everyone needs goofy funny stuff on the net every now and then... its kinda like reading the walls of a bathroom stall and seeing "so and so's mom for sale call (###-###-####)" and its someone you know's number.... thats always funny... :lol:

but anyways yeah... if it just sounds too bizzare to be true.. it probably isn't true :rolleyes:

lol That is excellent - in a sick . I can understand why he uses it as his avatar

it scared me for a while. but then some part of me knew it was a hoax. that was so two years ago -_-