The 6 Stages of Drinking
 

1. Sober

Sober, Adj.
Possessed of iron will, but often lacking a sense of humor. Helpful with washing up, finding cd's, and lifts home. Probably in need of several stiff drinks!


2. Tipsy

Tipsy, Adj.
The usual signs are a flushed face, stupid grin, loud voice, and a profound love for mankind. The sufferer is incredibly deep, intelligent, and insightful but prone to giggle.


3. Plastered

Plastered, Adj.
Extremely generous, loud, and confident. Suffers from verbal diarrhea and a belief that he/she can drink anyone under the table.


4. Drunk

Drunk, Adj.
Suffering from vision, hearing, & speech impairment, with an insatiable appetite for kebabs. Will shag anything that moves. Possessing the illogical belief that he/she is gorgeous despite dribbling and slobbering.


5. Sloshed

Sloshed, Adj.
Invincible but incapable. Suffering from extreme loss of balance, coordination, and sex appeal. Liable to sleep anywhere. Babbling incoherently with loss of bodily functions


6. Hung-Over

Hung-over, Adj.
Suffering from near death like state, often catatonic and always with a pounding headache. Unbalanced with no sense of humor. Need total silence and another drink!

:thumbsup:

Hey, don't forget the constant pissing in stage 6

VERBAL DIARRHEA - Best grouping of words EVER!

Great post, I couldn't stop laughing.