Luigi, Who Take a Care of This?
 

At a Christmas party years ago I told this story and almost fell off my barstool. Christmas parties were like that at our place.

I started: "Luigi lived by the sea in old Sicily. He was a fishmonger. One morning at breakfast Mama rakes him over the coals good. He stomps out of the house and goes to his boat.” I started pretending to row franticly. “Mama comes out on the back stoop and pleads. ‘Luigi! Luigi where you go?’

I turned at the waist and pointed with my hand over my shoulder.

‘Woman, I’m a leaving.’ I started rowing again.

‘Luigi! Luigi, who take a care of the fish market?’

I turned at the waist and pointed with my hand over my shoulder.

‘You take a care of it.’ I started rowing again.

‘Luigi! Luigi, who’ll take a care of bambino?’

I made a similar turning and pointing motion.

‘You take a care of it.’ I started rowing.

She lifts the hem of her dress and points.

‘Luigi, who take a care of this?’

I started rowing faster and turning on my barstool coming quite close to falling on my face.

‘Woman, so help me one of these days I’m a leaving.’

The greeks invented sex. It was the italians who introduced it to women...

Whoa...took me a moment to realize Mama meant the wife, not Luigi's mother. Or does it? If it does, that's pretty sick.

Mama is Luigi's wife. And having explained that, it's still a little sick. And it could have been a problem had I fallen off the bar stool.