The pains of parenthood...letter to Dad - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Blackthorn · 03-11-2005, 05:10 PM

The pains of parenthood:

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad".

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.

Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son,

John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

aKula · 03-11-2005, 05:46 PM

That is just great!

Furry · 03-12-2005, 07:20 AM

Heh.... Nice.

yellowchef · 03-12-2005, 10:32 AM

hahaha my dad would be at the neighbors house with his gun and a menacing look...

lindseylatch · 03-12-2005, 11:03 AM

Classic...

Antikarma · 03-12-2005, 03:15 PM

AHAHAHAHA I loved that, awesome.

2 points and a win

ranger · 03-14-2005, 08:56 AM

That was the best, I've copied that letter down for my folks.

SirLance · 03-14-2005, 02:08 PM

It's a twist on the "letter home" from college. Very funny. You can find the original at:

http://www.snopes.com/college/pranks/letter.asp

Enjoy...

03-11-2005, 05:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
Blackthorn Beware the Mad Irish Location: Wish I was on the N17...	The pains of parenthood...letter to Dad The pains of parenthood: A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, John PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home. __________________ What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

03-12-2005, 07:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
Furry Crazy Location: UK	Heh.... Nice. __________________ Furry is the leader of his own cult, the "Furballs of Doom". They sit about chanting "Doom, Doom, Doom". (From a random shot in the dark by SirLance)

03-12-2005, 11:03 AM	#5 (permalink)
lindseylatch Addict Location: Seattle, WA	Classic... __________________ "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities" "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong." -Voltaire

03-12-2005, 03:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
Antikarma Psycho Location: Yellowknife, NWT	AHAHAHAHA I loved that, awesome. 2 points and a win __________________ "Whoever you are, go out into the evening, leaving your room, of which you know each bit; your house is the last before the infinite, whoever you are."

03-14-2005, 02:08 PM	#8 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	It's a twist on the "letter home" from college. Very funny. You can find the original at: http://www.snopes.com/college/pranks/letter.asp Enjoy... __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

03-11-2005, 05:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
aKula Psycho	That is just great!

03-12-2005, 10:32 AM	#4 (permalink)
yellowchef Addict Location: Shalimar, FL	hahaha my dad would be at the neighbors house with his gun and a menacing look...

03-14-2005, 08:56 AM	#7 (permalink)
ranger Crazy Location: antioch IL	That was the best, I've copied that letter down for my folks.