The Vegas Hooker - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Pilgrim · 05-23-2003, 06:34 PM

This guy goes out to Las Vegas, and wins really big in one of the casinos. When you win big in Vegas the casino will give you free things, like meals, show tickets, or rooms, this is all designed to keep you there so that you will lose what money you have won. After winning fifty thousand dollars at the crap table, the casino decides to give the guy a night in the penthouse suite.

The guy goes up to the room, opens the big double doors, and steps into a three-room suite. The room is on a corner of the hotel and two walls are nothing but windows, with a fantastic view of the city. There's a wet bar in one corner, with a big screen TV The guy drops his bag on money in a chair and stands looking out the windows at the city. He realizes he is all alone and needs someone to share his good fortune with. He calls down to the front desk and tells the clerk to send up one of the best high-priced call girls in the city.

Thirty minutes later there's a knock on the door. The guy opens it and there is the most gorgeous girl he has ever seen. Long blond hair, short red dress, and spiked heels. She walks into the room. The guy goes over to the bar and fixes two drinks, he gives one to the hooker, and drinks one himself.

"Now, down to business," he says, "how much for a hand job?" The hooker says, "Honey, a hand job is $500.00""What, that's outrageous. "Come over here," She says walking towards one of the windows," see that strip mall over there," pointing out the window, "I own the last two stores on the end. I was able to buy those stores with the money I saved from giving hand jobs. I must be pretty damn good.

"All right, screw it, money is no object." A half hour after she's done the guy is sitting on the couch revelling in ecstasy. He gets up, goes to the bar and makes two more drinks. He gives one to the hooker and drinks one himself.

"That was the best hand job I have ever had. How much for a blow job? Honey, a blow job is $5000.00" "What, that's outrageous." "Come over here," She says walking towards another one of the window, "see that hotel and casino over there on the corner," pointing out the window, "I own that, I was able to buy it with the money I saved from giving blow jobs. I must be pretty damn good. "All right, screw it, money is no object." The guy gives her $5000.00.

An hour after she's done, the guy is laying on the couch, head rolled back, eyes rolled up inside his head, a little drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. He gets up, barely able to stand, staggers over to the bar, mixes two more drinks, gives one to the hooker, and drinks one himself. "My god, that was the best blow job I have ever had, I've gotta know, How much for some pussy?"

The hooker looks at him and says, "Honey, if I had a pussy I would own this whole city."

potpie · 05-23-2003, 08:21 PM

Hahaha, poor guy once he realizes what just happened..

marked4deth · 05-24-2003, 05:46 PM

sick......I like it!!

Brewmaniac · 05-24-2003, 06:30 PM

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!

Destrox · 05-24-2003, 08:38 PM

hah.. sad thing is, i bet this happens at least 20 times a day in LasV

oblar · 05-24-2003, 09:43 PM

hehe funny.. if i could only learn his ways I could own casinos too!! Wait, no...

umm, I am someone else ... I got to go.. *runs for the door*

vevaphon · 05-25-2003, 09:55 AM

hot damn, lost wages is nothing like that. if it were, i'd never leave.

05-23-2003, 06:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
Pilgrim Crazy Location: Ilium	The Vegas Hooker This guy goes out to Las Vegas, and wins really big in one of the casinos. When you win big in Vegas the casino will give you free things, like meals, show tickets, or rooms, this is all designed to keep you there so that you will lose what money you have won. After winning fifty thousand dollars at the crap table, the casino decides to give the guy a night in the penthouse suite. The guy goes up to the room, opens the big double doors, and steps into a three-room suite. The room is on a corner of the hotel and two walls are nothing but windows, with a fantastic view of the city. There's a wet bar in one corner, with a big screen TV The guy drops his bag on money in a chair and stands looking out the windows at the city. He realizes he is all alone and needs someone to share his good fortune with. He calls down to the front desk and tells the clerk to send up one of the best high-priced call girls in the city. Thirty minutes later there's a knock on the door. The guy opens it and there is the most gorgeous girl he has ever seen. Long blond hair, short red dress, and spiked heels. She walks into the room. The guy goes over to the bar and fixes two drinks, he gives one to the hooker, and drinks one himself. "Now, down to business," he says, "how much for a hand job?" The hooker says, "Honey, a hand job is $500.00""What, that's outrageous. "Come over here," She says walking towards one of the windows," see that strip mall over there," pointing out the window, "I own the last two stores on the end. I was able to buy those stores with the money I saved from giving hand jobs. I must be pretty damn good. "All right, screw it, money is no object." A half hour after she's done the guy is sitting on the couch revelling in ecstasy. He gets up, goes to the bar and makes two more drinks. He gives one to the hooker and drinks one himself. "That was the best hand job I have ever had. How much for a blow job? Honey, a blow job is $5000.00" "What, that's outrageous." "Come over here," She says walking towards another one of the window, "see that hotel and casino over there on the corner," pointing out the window, "I own that, I was able to buy it with the money I saved from giving blow jobs. I must be pretty damn good. "All right, screw it, money is no object." The guy gives her $5000.00. An hour after she's done, the guy is laying on the couch, head rolled back, eyes rolled up inside his head, a little drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. He gets up, barely able to stand, staggers over to the bar, mixes two more drinks, gives one to the hooker, and drinks one himself. "My god, that was the best blow job I have ever had, I've gotta know, How much for some pussy?" The hooker looks at him and says, "Honey, if I had a pussy I would own this whole city." __________________ "So it goes."

05-23-2003, 08:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
potpie Upright Location: CA	Hahaha, poor guy once he realizes what just happened.. __________________ "Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam" (I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.)

05-24-2003, 06:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Surprise, Surprise, Surprise! __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

05-24-2003, 08:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
Destrox Metal and Rock 4 Life Location: Phoenix	hah.. sad thing is, i bet this happens at least 20 times a day in LasV __________________ You bore me.... next.

05-24-2003, 09:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
oblar Über-Rookie Location: No longer, D.C	hehe funny.. if i could only learn his ways I could own casinos too!! Wait, no... umm, I am someone else ... I got to go.. runs for the door __________________ "All that we can do is just survive. .All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

05-24-2003, 05:46 PM	#3 (permalink)
marked4deth Upright	sick......I like it!!

05-25-2003, 09:55 AM	#7 (permalink)
vevaphon Insane Location: Ass end of Nowhere	hot damn, lost wages is nothing like that. if it were, i'd never leave. __________________ "Faster. And faster still. Until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." --- DKM