One morning, a man calls his boss...
 

to tell him he'll be out sick. The boss presses for specifics, and the man says, "Sir, I have rectal glaucoma." "And what does that mean?" asks the boss. The man replies, "I just can't see my ass coming in to work today."


Glad

Heard it before, but still funny. It represents me to a "T".

too funny for sight

Great joke. I don't think i would try that though.