Jack Handey Quote of the Day 9-20-04
 

More from "Fuzzy Memories"

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If I could go back and change one thing in my life, I think it would be that time I found that one-dollar bill on the sidewalk. I would change it to a million-dollar bill.

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When I gave the bellboy his tip, he just sort of snarled at me. So I gave him some more money, but he just kept snarling. More money, more snarling. Finally I realized, Hey, you're not the bellboy, this is a robbery!
I asked him if he would carry my bag, but he wouldn't.