Product endorsement
 

Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my Mom told me it was the best.

In fact, about a month ago, while at The broom's house, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. She started to berate me about my
drinking problem. One thing lead to another and I ended up with a lot of her blood on my white blouse, as well.

I tried to get the stain out using her bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. On my way home, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid
Tide with bleach alternative, and all of the stains came out! They came out so well, in fact, that the police's DNA tests were negative!

I thank you, once again, for a great product.

Well, gotta go, I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

That's pretty good. I just hope they didn't put their correct return address on there!

Bwahahahahahaha