Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community (https://thetfp.com/tfp/)
-   Tilted Humor (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/)
-   -   Say prayers (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/60385-say-prayers.html)

Cervantes 06-25-2004 02:56 AM

Say prayers
 
A man decided that it was time to teach his son how to say prayers, so he spent a few nights teaching the son the basics. After the kid had learned them well enough to say on his own, the father instructed him that after he was done with the prayers each night, he was to choose someone special and ask for God's blessing for that person.

Well, little kids don't always realize that their pets aren't a person, so the first night the little boy said his prayers, he ended with "And God, please bless my puppy." The guy thought that it was pretty cute. However, the next morning the little dog ran out the door and was killed by a car.

That night the little kid asked God to bless his cat when the prayers were finished. And, sure enough, the next morning the cat slipped out and took on the biggest dog in the neighborhood and became breakfast. The father had started to make a connection here, but decided that it was just coincidence.

But when the kid asked God to bless his goldfish, the father couldn't wait for morning so that he could check up on it. As soon as he looked in the bowl, he saw the fish floating upside down on the top.

That night the little kid ended with "God, please give an extra special blessing to my father."

The father couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat breakfast in the morning. He was afraid to drive to work. He couldn't get any work done because he was petrified. Finally quitting time came and he walked home, expecting to drop dead any minute.

When he arrived home, the house was a mess. His wife was lying on the couch still dressed in her robe. The dishes from breakfast were still on the table and the father was furious. He started yelling at his wife, telling her that he had had the worst day of his life and she hadn't even gotten dressed. She looked at him and said, "Shut up! My day was worse. The mailman had a heart attack on our front porch!"

Dilbert1234567 06-25-2004 08:16 AM

heh

p0thead 06-25-2004 11:24 AM

hahaha that was unexpected

Delvid 06-25-2004 12:10 PM

I like.

braindamage351 06-26-2004 04:23 PM

It was good, but a nearly identical joke was in "Big Fish".

bacon_masta 06-27-2004 12:44 PM

that was great

Shifter59 06-27-2004 03:24 PM

now that was awesome! keep up the good work

Kazic 06-27-2004 06:19 PM

good stuff.

Jackebear 06-28-2004 03:05 AM

:lol:

pta200 06-28-2004 07:20 AM

HAHAHAHAHA

Stare At The Sun 06-28-2004 11:28 PM

Holy shit. I just got that joke, literally a day later, it all made sense. Wow...i'm an idiot.

Good stuff.

R3d 06-29-2004 12:57 AM

hahahahah nice twist at the end.. :)

Eugeni 06-29-2004 10:32 AM

funny joke!!!

WarriorBuddha 07-03-2004 08:43 AM

That was good dude. I like that one.


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:12 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360