Nursing Home Humor - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

End User · 05-13-2004, 05:09 PM

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her electric wheelchair, and loves
to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on two wheels and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her, and some of the males actually join in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arms outstretched. "Stop", he said, in a firm voice. "Have you got a licence for that thing?". Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a lolly wrapper and held it up to
him. "Ok" he said and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on two wheels, Weird Harold
popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP, have you got proof of insurance?". Ethel dug into her handbag and pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "carry on Madam".
As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy
Colin stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very
sizeable erection in his hand. "Oh no" said Ethel, not the breathalyser again."

gonadman · 05-13-2004, 06:13 PM

HAHA - Didn't see that one cumming

KellyC · 05-13-2004, 07:38 PM

so wrong....just so wrong...

majik_6 · 05-14-2004, 07:49 PM

That's so so wrong...but I just know that I'm going to tell the next person I see!

WarWagon · 05-14-2004, 08:44 PM

Heh heh, good one.

For some reason, I can't help but think about a wheelchair with a small Tecumseh engine, wheelie bars, and a sneeky pete mounted to the underside. I guess thats just the gearhead in me...

cchris · 05-14-2004, 11:17 PM

Great joke and well told.

small one · 05-17-2004, 01:00 AM

An old one, but still worth a second airing

Dilbert1234567 · 05-18-2004, 09:10 AM

ew. thats wrong.

cameroncrazy822 · 05-18-2004, 09:21 AM

My thing is right after they wake up from their drug induced stuper feeling groggy, sore, and disoriented I engage the brake on their wheel chair and slam the door to their room shut. Trust me all the honies at the assisted living home LOVE it!

05-13-2004, 05:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
End User Insane Location: Sydney, Australia	Nursing Home Humor Ethel is a bit of a demon in her electric wheelchair, and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on two wheels and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her, and some of the males actually join in. One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arms outstretched. "Stop", he said, in a firm voice. "Have you got a licence for that thing?". Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a lolly wrapper and held it up to him. "Ok" he said and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on two wheels, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP, have you got proof of insurance?". Ethel dug into her handbag and pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "carry on Madam". As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Colin stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable erection in his hand. "Oh no" said Ethel, not the breathalyser again." __________________ People who have no faults are terrible!

05-13-2004, 06:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
gonadman Psycho Location: Philly	HAHA - Didn't see that one cumming __________________ For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel, looking, looking, ...breathlessly. -Carlos Castaneda

05-13-2004, 07:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	so wrong....just so wrong... __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

05-14-2004, 07:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
majik_6 narcissist Location: looking in a mirror	That's so so wrong...but I just know that I'm going to tell the next person I see! __________________ it's all about self-indulgence

05-14-2004, 11:17 PM	#6 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Great joke and well told. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

05-14-2004, 08:44 PM	#5 (permalink)
WarWagon Loser	Heh heh, good one. For some reason, I can't help but think about a wheelchair with a small Tecumseh engine, wheelie bars, and a sneeky pete mounted to the underside. I guess thats just the gearhead in me...

05-17-2004, 01:00 AM	#7 (permalink)
small one Banned Location: York	An old one, but still worth a second airing

05-18-2004, 09:10 AM	#8 (permalink)
Dilbert1234567 Devils Cabana Boy Location: Central Coast CA	ew. thats wrong. __________________ Donate Blood! "Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

05-18-2004, 09:21 AM	#9 (permalink)
cameroncrazy822 Junkie Location: MD	My thing is right after they wake up from their drug induced stuper feeling groggy, sore, and disoriented I engage the brake on their wheel chair and slam the door to their room shut. Trust me all the honies at the assisted living home LOVE it!