Irish Driving

[CSflim]

Some rules of the road, if you ever decide to visit Ireland.

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Irish
driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave any distance between
you and the car in front of you. The space will be filled in by
somebody else, putting you in a dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you
have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one
expects it and it will likely result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork.The other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure
that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as
the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a
chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a
great way to scare people entering the roadway.

8. Speed limits are just arbitrary numbers provided as a
suggestion and are apparently not enforceable during
rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the right lane and can't move doesn't
mean that the other driver flashing his high beams behind
you can't go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or
even someone changing a tire.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Ireland is the home of the high-
speed slalom driving thanks to the county councils,who put
potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes
and keep them on their toes.

12. It is traditional in Ireland to honk your horn at cars that
don't move the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every Irish driver is to get
there first by whatever means necessary.

14. 'flipping someone the bird' isconsidered a polite Irish salute.
This gesture should always be returned.

15. At least four more cars should proceed on after the
light turns red. If you fail to do so, you will be rear-ended.

16. The roads can also be used to dispose of any messy garbage
that may be lying around. These items are better off cluttering
the side of the road then cluttering your car's interior where
they may distract you and cause an accident.

17. If someone cuts you off you should return the gesture by
speeding around them on the left, pulling in front of them and
slamming on the brakes. This works even better when your car is
of less value.

18. Your horn is an all-purpose stress-reliever.

THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY!

[WarWagon]

I think this applies to all New Yorkers, too : )

[KellyC]

I like # 3 and # 11. good ones

[Jadedfox]

LMAO, I live in Dublin and all of the above is so true!

--jaded

[fizzledorf]

same all around the world i think!

[Ilow]

guess I'd fit right in...

[Paq]

seriously....

bad driving is universal, mmmkay

[Ripp3r]

specificly true in dublin tho

Taxi drivers seem to be masters at these rules

[assilem]

I think most of those rules can also apply to Southern California. I live there and they all sound just about right. Very funny.