Conversations NOT to have with your wife
 

This is why it's not advisable to have a conversation with your wife while eating dinner...just remain silent,and nod politely at whatever she says, regardless how stupid or inane her comments are :D

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - - silence - - -

HUSBAND: "Shit."

aaaaaahahahahahahahahahah LoL I thought that was very funny and cute!!!!!!
JUst say uhuh babe, uhuh babe to every thing then she will know your not listening, then she will tell you that your not listening,then you tell her sorry, you were thinking of her naked or something then she might not bother you lol and you wont have to talk about what she wants lol.(works on me)

ROFL, good one

Side splitting

HAHAHAHAHHA!

Excellent.

Men can never win...

LMAO
I didnt get that at first

lol.. funny

LOL nice one

Lol perfect!
What a slip.
Great joke!

very nice joke ;) didn't see that ending coming.

Nice one!

vintage!

Damn!....I hate when that happens :crazy: but the best way to bust someone is to ask them when they are sleeping. I know because I do it all the time.

haha, good times, now only to have that played out in a scene of a movie...heh, fun fun

Foot in it

good one

http://boards1.wizards.com/images/smilies/roflmao.gif lol! I like it :).

Nice one...

Always some good stuff

Sorry... trying to post to other thread

Now that's HYSTERICAL!!!

lol yeah that sounds accurate....what he should have said was...."no one could ever replace you, after you, i don't think that i could ever love another person. After all.... with you, i already have perfection, anything else would be a step back" come on boys...it's not that hard. While i don't recommend this obvious of a cliche...something along those lines, as long as you mean it...works like a charm :)

hehehe ~ very funny!

I actually tried something similar with my wife today just for kicks. the script suffered a bit but she got pissed. boy, she got pissed.

i then showed her the post and she calmed down a bit.

what is with you women???? cant you talk a joke??? :lol:

I like that one. Will try it on the wife. Never know might get lucky :)

open mouth,
insert foot

hehehehehe

Great joke or is this a true story?

LOL, thats a good one, very funny.

LOL nice

still funny after reading it so many times. thanks!

Frickin' sweet.

Though, during the silence part you left out the "wife with frickin' laser beam eyes" part.

Haha. That's a pretty funny one.

You gotta love a guy that plans ahead!!

<b>HUSBAND: "Shit."</b>

yeah!

Being a golfer I heard a similar version of that one but its a CLASSIC...

Yes! I love it
great post

that's a great one, thanks

:p good one