Aww, I got all the way to the end, and I had my hopes up that I'd be the first to post it! But, I've gotta give you props. That's the worst (and by far best) joke ever written.

Leprechauns!
 

This guy goes into a public restroom, and he notices a 3 foot tall, red haired person with green clothes, urinating. Now, odd as this seems, it's even stranger that the short guy has a 15 inch cock. "What the hell?!?" says the guy. "Damn, you caught me, I'm a Leprechaun. Now I have to grant you a wish."

The guy scratched his head for a sec. "Don't you guys have pots of gold or something like that?"

"No, that's just a myth. We grant wishes."

"Well, I'd like my cock to be 15 inches too." the guy replies

"Ok, but to work the magic, you have to have sex with me."

This makes the guy pause, but then he just thinks about how great it would be to have that large of a cock. "Ok"

After the Leprechaun finishes his business, he says "Ok, now, how old are you?"

"I'm 36, why?"

"And you still believe in Leprechauns?"

I laughed out loud at this one, much to the surprise of the people right outside my window.

There was a joke that was SO, SO bad, that came to hell.
:D

my friend told me a gross one:

How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg???











pick him up and suck him off :lol:

Why must you be angry?! Can't you be gree-ann?

I dun have sideburns, I burn my sides!

Ohhhhohohoho~

How many male chauvinist's does it take to screw in a light bulb?














None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

Pierre was walking down a street in Montreal with a case of beer under his arm, when he's met by Jacques, walking the opposite direction.

Jacques: "Hey, Pierre... is that a case of beer you're holding?"

Pierre: "Yep. I got it for my wife"

Jacques: "Wow. Good trade."

how can a report card sting you?







if its full of B's

Oh dear. =D

What's better then winning the Special Olympics?











Not being retarded

What do Hippopotumus's have that no other animal in the world has???









BABY hippopotumusess'ssss'.!!!

YES! Read all the way to the end and neither one of my two are taken. Crap one first and so bad its good is second.

Wanna hear a dirty joke?
A pig fell in the mud.

In other news today, multimillionaire Hugh Hefner finally ejected a squatting monastic order from his property today after a long legal battle. Apparantly the monks just walked up one day and started selling flowers. When Hefner heard about this, he sent down his security to eject them, but the kindhearted guard couldn't hit men of the cloth. Then, the playboy owner sent down one of his girlfriends in order to persuade them to leave, but the monks had taken a vow of chastity. Undeterred, he sent his lawyers to court. However, the monks didn't make their court date. Frustrated, Hefner went down and personally dealt with the matter. One of the monks was later quoted as saying,

"Apparantly only Hugh can prevent florist friars."

BUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHhA

In the words of my old man and his buddyFishKing and Boo

"A Baby Seal Walks Into A Club"

"A Skeleton Walks Into A Bar And Orders A Beer And A Mop"

Q. what goes... mark! mark!


A. a dog with a harelip.

Did you hear about the two gay Scotsman?
One was named Ben Dover and the other Philip McAvity.

Why does it take two blondes to make chocolate chip cookies.

One to mix the batter and the one to squeeze the gerbil.


One day a yellow frog wanted to be like no other frog in the world. So he went to the Good Witch and said. "Turn me into a diffrent color so I will be driffrent from all the other frogs in the world." The Good Witch agreed and turned the frog green, all execpt for his penis. The frog asked the Good Witch why she didn't change his penis colors and she replied "Oh, I don't do that, you'll have to go see the wizard." And so the Frog hops off. A little while later a pink elephant walks up to the Good Witch and says "Change me into a diffrent color than all the other elephants in the world." Again the Witch did as asked and turned elephant grey, all except for his penis. The elphant asked why his penis remained pink and the Witch responeded "I don't deal with those, you'll have to see the wizard to get your penis turned grey." The elphant replied "But I don't know how to get to the Wizard." To which the Witch replied "Follow the yellow dick toad."

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get a drink of water. I actually followed a chicken once as it crossed the road and that's what it did.

What flys and is very dangerous?




A flying elephant with a machine gun.

=)
Cheers

Haha that was kinda funny and sad that i understood it

heh there have been some funny ones.

here are my 2.

Person 1: " say knock knock!"
Person 2: "Knock knock!"
Person 1: "whos there?"

what do you call a girl with no arms and no legs in a pool?







Fucked!~

Q. Why does a moon rock taste better than moon dust?

A. Because it's a little meteor!

Oh how I love this joke, thanks for sharing! I am now going to spread it like wildfire with the scientists I work with. :)

At my high school, a special education student comes around and collects the attendence, and he loves telling jokes, here are some of them.

How many legs does a spider have?
9 Legs

Knock Knock
who's there?
Large Mallet
Large Mallet Who?
I'm going to hit you in the head with a large mallet

What does a dog have?
5 legs!

What type of watch does a witch wear?
A Witch Watch

What do you say to a skeleton when he goes on vacation?
Bone Voyage!

Why did the gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken!

why do tampons have strings
so the crabs can bungee jump

The full joke is this: A man is walking along a beach when he comes across a girl with no arms or legs crying near the water. "Why are you crying?" he asks. "No one wants to fuck me, because I don't have arms or legs," she says. Feeling sorry for her, the man picks her up and throws her into the ocean and says "Now you're fucked!"

Did you ever hear about the evil tuna?










He was rotten to the Albacore.... albacore tuna :P