Jury selection - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

prb · 11-24-2003, 11:56 AM

An Alabama farmer is caught in the act having sex with one of his goats and criminal charges are brought against him for "goat molestation." The farmer consults with a well-known attorney to defend him on the charges.

The attorney listens to the facts and tells the farmer that defending him on the charges will be difficult since the farmer was caught in the act, but it is possible that the case can be won. "Fortunately for you," says the attorney, "I have defended a number of these cases. If we can convince the jury that your sex with the goat was consensual, we may be able to win your acquittal. Selecting the right jury is the key here. Lucky for you, I am a master at selecting the right jury."

They go to trial. The attorney spends a long time questioning the prospective jurors before twelve jurors are finally selected. The attorney tells the farmer that he thinks they have a good jury to work with.

The trial begins. During the trial the attorney puts the farmer on the stand in order to produce testimony from the farmer that the sex with the goat was consensual. The attorney asks the farmer, "And while you were engaged in the act of intercourse with your goat, what was the goat doing?"

The farmer says, "Well, he was licking my balls."

An old man in the jury pipes up and says, "Yep, a good goat'll do that!"

tekaweni · 11-24-2003, 03:42 PM

errrm, i wouldnt know....

Amarth · 11-24-2003, 05:55 PM

*scratches head*

I don't get it...

SysteMatiC · 11-24-2003, 07:00 PM

Hey look over there

Silverbrain · 11-24-2003, 11:19 PM

lol, funny

Noob · 11-25-2003, 06:13 PM

*throws tomato*
still funny though

bravo49 · 11-26-2003, 02:40 AM

I prefer sheep, their coats are softer

loganmule · 11-26-2003, 08:49 PM

I heard the sheep farmer joke version, but this is still good

gloveshot3 · 11-27-2003, 07:14 AM

a baby bovine (cow) works much better, cause their mouth is bigger, and their sucking action is natural and stronger, not that i would personally know, i just grewup on a farm.

telekinetic2 · 11-28-2003, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by gloveshot3
a baby bovine (cow) works much better, cause their mouth is bigger, and their sucking action is natural and stronger, not that i would personally know, i just grewup on a farm.

*Shudders in horror*
Is this why milk is pasturized?

11-24-2003, 11:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
prb Psycho	Jury selection An Alabama farmer is caught in the act having sex with one of his goats and criminal charges are brought against him for "goat molestation." The farmer consults with a well-known attorney to defend him on the charges. The attorney listens to the facts and tells the farmer that defending him on the charges will be difficult since the farmer was caught in the act, but it is possible that the case can be won. "Fortunately for you," says the attorney, "I have defended a number of these cases. If we can convince the jury that your sex with the goat was consensual, we may be able to win your acquittal. Selecting the right jury is the key here. Lucky for you, I am a master at selecting the right jury." They go to trial. The attorney spends a long time questioning the prospective jurors before twelve jurors are finally selected. The attorney tells the farmer that he thinks they have a good jury to work with. The trial begins. During the trial the attorney puts the farmer on the stand in order to produce testimony from the farmer that the sex with the goat was consensual. The attorney asks the farmer, "And while you were engaged in the act of intercourse with your goat, what was the goat doing?" The farmer says, "Well, he was licking my balls." An old man in the jury pipes up and says, "Yep, a good goat'll do that!"

11-24-2003, 03:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
tekaweni It wasnt me Location: Scotland	errrm, i wouldnt know.... __________________ If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

11-24-2003, 07:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
SysteMatiC Insane Location: unfortunately not ireland	Hey look over there __________________ I have more respect for a man who says what he means, even if he is wrong, then one who acts like an angel, but is nothing but a devil.

11-24-2003, 11:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
Silverbrain Addict Location: Nor Cal	lol, funny __________________ Over Thinking, Over Analyzing Seperates the Body from the Mind - MJK

11-24-2003, 05:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
Amarth Loser Location: About 50,000 feet in the air... oh shit.	scratches head I don't get it...

11-25-2003, 06:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
Noob Upright	throws tomato still funny though

11-26-2003, 02:40 AM	#7 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	I prefer sheep, their coats are softer

11-26-2003, 08:49 PM	#8 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	I heard the sheep farmer joke version, but this is still good

11-27-2003, 07:14 AM	#9 (permalink)
gloveshot3 Crazy	a baby bovine (cow) works much better, cause their mouth is bigger, and their sucking action is natural and stronger, not that i would personally know, i just grewup on a farm.