Human genome has become OpenSource - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Regziever · 11-08-2003, 11:11 PM

Thanks to our great discoveries in the field of genetics God has decided to make the sourcecode for the human being OpenSource. This decition may come as a shock to most of us but God declared that we needed an explenation to all the misstakes and bugs we have found in our genome. Bellow is a just a teaser, the complete code will be released shortly.

Code:

   /* HUMAN_DNA.H

    *
    * Human Genome
    * Version 2.1
    *
    * (C) God
    */

   /* Revision history:
    *
    * 0000-00-01 00:00  1.0  Adam.
    * 0000-00-02 10:00  1.1  Eve.
    * 0000-00-03 02:11  1.2  Added penis code to male version. A bit
    *      messy --will require a rewrite later on to make it neater.
    * 0017-03-12 03:14  1.3  Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code
    *                        from elephant-dna.c
    * 0145-10-03 16:33  1.4  Removed tail.
    * 1115-00-31 17:20  1.5  Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
    * 2091-08-20 13:56  1.6  Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
    * 2501-04-09 14:04  1.7  Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin color
    *                        made darker to match my own image.
    * 2909-07-12 02:21  1.8  Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom'
    *           teeth Must remember to make mouth bigger to compensate.
    * 4501-12-31 14:18  1.9  Increase average height.
    * 5533-02-12 17:09  2.0  Added gay option, triggered by high
    *    population density, to try and slow the overpopulation problem.
    * 6004-11-04 16:11  2.1  Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in
    *                        centra of CD.
    */

   /* Standard definitions
    */

   #define SEX male
   #define HEIGHT 1.84
   #define MASS 68
   #define RACE caucasian

   /* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
    *
    * Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
    * inheritance features.
    */

   #include "mother.h"
   #include "father.h"

   #infndef FATHER
   #warn("Father unknown -- guessing\n")
   #include "bastard.h"
   #endif

   /* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
    */
   #include

   /* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a
     * proper library sometime soon.
    */
   struct genitals
      {
   #ifdef MALE
      Penis *jt;
   #endif
      /* G_spot *g;   Removed for debugging purposes */
   #ifdef FEMALE
      Vagina *p;
   #endif
      }

   /* Initialization bootstrap routine -- called before DNA duplication.
    * Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers
    */
   DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *);

   /* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE
    *
    * Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the
    * organism to display at birth.
    *
    * Will be improved later to make output less ugly.
    */
   Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i);

===
etc...

microdot · 11-08-2003, 11:50 PM

Kind of geekish, but funny.

Stiltzkin · 11-10-2003, 08:45 PM

Nice. But why caucasian? I don't get it :: scratches head::

t3m3st · 11-12-2003, 01:58 PM

SirGoreaxe · 11-12-2003, 08:32 PM

If you added a input sequence, you could do a Gattaca child and make him perfect, but don't forget to put in a god child option.

11-10-2003, 08:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
Stiltzkin Junkie	Nice. But why caucasian? I don't get it :: scratches head:: __________________ The most important thing in this world is love.

11-12-2003, 01:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
t3m3st Vroom! Location: Toronto	lol __________________ I do it for the rare drops

11-12-2003, 08:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
SirGoreaxe Tilted Location: Bremerton, WA	If you added a input sequence, you could do a Gattaca child and make him perfect, but don't forget to put in a god child option. __________________ (;þ "You can't change what has happened, but you can make the best of it, and make better decisions from the past." (Unless there is a quick edit button.)

11-08-2003, 11:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
microdot Crazy	Kind of geekish, but funny.