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Old 04-29-2003, 01:51 AM   #1 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: who the fuck cares?
Joke of the Day - April 29

You know you're from a small town if...
  • You can name everyone you graduated with.
  • You know what 4-H is.
  • You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.
  • You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't- same goes with the game warden.
  • You ever went cow tipping or snipe hunting.
  • School gets cancelled for state events.
  • You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old they'd tell your parents anyhow).
  • It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
  • You had senior skip day.
  • The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
  • You don't give directions by street names or directions by references (turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks east Anderson's, and it's four houses left of the track field).
  • The country club golf course had only 9 holes.
  • You can't help but date a friend's ex-girlfriend.
  • Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
  • You think kids that ride skateboards are weird.
  • The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty", but is actually just like your town.
  • Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise
  • You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the "rich people."
  • The people in the city dress funny, then you pick-up on the trend two years later.
  • Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.
  • You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.
  • Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
  • The city council meets at the coffee shop.
  • Weekend excitement involves a trip to a Wal-Mart.
  • Even the ugly people enter beauty pageants.
  • Your teacher calls you by your older siblings names.
  • Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
  • The closest McDonald's is 45 miles away.
  • So is the closest mall.
  • It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.
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Old 04-29-2003, 02:09 AM   #2 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: California when i'm not in hawaii
WOw, where'd you grow up? the deep south? I shared some of the experiences, but the tractor factor was a bit much... never realized how small my town was...
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Old 04-29-2003, 05:52 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Sydney
Makes one think about whether the good ole days were

as such
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Old 04-29-2003, 06:53 AM   #4 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Up my ass
Reminds me of where I had to go on Easter to see some of my wife's extended family. They live in White Bird, Idaho. Population 106. It is so small, that there are no POLICE.
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Alice, that dog has been licking his own asshole for three hours. I would venture to say that there is nothing there that requires more than an hour's attention. So I would suggest that whatever he's attempting to dislodge is either gone for good....or there to stay.

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Old 04-29-2003, 06:59 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
I was held prisoner of war in Iowa for four years, and you just described my complete existence there.
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