My favorite joke - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

GM2 · 09-01-2003, 06:12 PM

I'm sure a lot of you have heard this before but I still think it's funny.

One day a man goes to the circus. He gets an elephant ride, and some cotton candy, all the usual circus stuff, when he decides to go into the big top. He finds a seat on the front row and soon the show begins.

The first act is the clowns. They ride around on their unicycles and juggle knives and do their thing, and then the head clown asks for a volunteer from the audience. The guy figures, "what the hell" and he stands up.

The clown asks, "Are you a donkey?"

To which the man replies, "No, I am not."

The clown laughs and says, "That's funny, because you sure look like an ASS to me!"

The entire audience bursts out laughing. The man nearly dies of shame. He has no idea what to say, his mouth is frozen. He starts to cry and runs from the tent in tears. For days he can't sleep because of his humiliation. He loses ten pounds because he can't eat.

Finally he decides to get even. He thumbs through his book catalog and orders a book of comebacks. Four to six weeks later it arrives, and he has soon memorized every comeback in the entire book.

But that's not enough for him. He searches on the internet for more places to learn comebacks. Finding a school in Russia for the advanced teaching of retorts and comebacks, he quits his job and enrolls.

Four years later, he graduates at the top of his class. He is offered graduate school slots from many reknowned colleges of comebacks and one-liners. Within a few years he has earned his Ph.D. as a comeback artist.

He begins travelling all around the world, delivering lectures on comebacks and how to avoid looking stupid. His fee for making one half-hour speech is ten thousand dollars. He appears on the front page of the New York Times with the headline: World's Finest Comeback Artist To Speak!"

Then one day he notices that the same circus is coming back to town. He immediately re-reads all his comeback material and prepares himself. On the opening day, he goes in and takes the same seat he was in all those years before in the big top.

Sure enough, those same clowns come out and ask for a volunteer. The man stands up and waves his hand. The head clown asks him again, "Sir, are you a donkey?"

The man calmly replies, "No, I am not a donkey."

The clown replies just like he did years before, "That's funny, because you sure look like an ASS to me!"

The crowd suddenly becomes hushed. Everyone in the town knows who this guy is. The foremost authority on comebacks stands silently for a second, with a dangerous glint in his eye. Suddenly, he draws a deep breath and in a booming voice replies...

"FUCK YOU, CLOWN!"

loganmule · 09-01-2003, 06:17 PM

cute, but why didn't he figure that out the first time?

doubleaught · 09-01-2003, 11:22 PM

ah, the amusing because it's not amusing sort of amusing joke.

amusing!

09-01-2003, 06:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
GM2 Insane	My favorite joke I'm sure a lot of you have heard this before but I still think it's funny. One day a man goes to the circus. He gets an elephant ride, and some cotton candy, all the usual circus stuff, when he decides to go into the big top. He finds a seat on the front row and soon the show begins. The first act is the clowns. They ride around on their unicycles and juggle knives and do their thing, and then the head clown asks for a volunteer from the audience. The guy figures, "what the hell" and he stands up. The clown asks, "Are you a donkey?" To which the man replies, "No, I am not." The clown laughs and says, "That's funny, because you sure look like an ASS to me!" The entire audience bursts out laughing. The man nearly dies of shame. He has no idea what to say, his mouth is frozen. He starts to cry and runs from the tent in tears. For days he can't sleep because of his humiliation. He loses ten pounds because he can't eat. Finally he decides to get even. He thumbs through his book catalog and orders a book of comebacks. Four to six weeks later it arrives, and he has soon memorized every comeback in the entire book. But that's not enough for him. He searches on the internet for more places to learn comebacks. Finding a school in Russia for the advanced teaching of retorts and comebacks, he quits his job and enrolls. Four years later, he graduates at the top of his class. He is offered graduate school slots from many reknowned colleges of comebacks and one-liners. Within a few years he has earned his Ph.D. as a comeback artist. He begins travelling all around the world, delivering lectures on comebacks and how to avoid looking stupid. His fee for making one half-hour speech is ten thousand dollars. He appears on the front page of the New York Times with the headline: World's Finest Comeback Artist To Speak!" Then one day he notices that the same circus is coming back to town. He immediately re-reads all his comeback material and prepares himself. On the opening day, he goes in and takes the same seat he was in all those years before in the big top. Sure enough, those same clowns come out and ask for a volunteer. The man stands up and waves his hand. The head clown asks him again, "Sir, are you a donkey?" The man calmly replies, "No, I am not a donkey." The clown replies just like he did years before, "That's funny, because you sure look like an ASS to me!" The crowd suddenly becomes hushed. Everyone in the town knows who this guy is. The foremost authority on comebacks stands silently for a second, with a dangerous glint in his eye. Suddenly, he draws a deep breath and in a booming voice replies... "FUCK YOU, CLOWN!"

09-01-2003, 06:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	cute, but why didn't he figure that out the first time?

09-01-2003, 11:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
doubleaught Psycho Location: OMFG BRB	ah, the amusing because it's not amusing sort of amusing joke. amusing!