BILLY EVANS - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

RenegadeSoul · 04-24-2003, 03:12 PM

My name is Billy Evans, and I'm a nine-year-old boy. My mother
is typing this for me because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so
sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt,
except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is
a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they
could do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy
doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't
cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even
though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real
bad. I hope you will help me.

You can help me if you forward
this email to everyone you know. Forward it
to people you don't know, too.

Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill
Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding,
NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the
astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better.
Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a
collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors
could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play
baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to
the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy
is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn
10.

If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and
heartless bastard who doesn't care about a po
or little boy with only a head.
She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden
stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever
in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin'
minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and
shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Thank You, Billy "Smiley" Evans

BubblegumTeflon · 04-24-2003, 04:22 PM

You know the sad part about this is that even though it's so obviously fake and downright hilarious, some people still thought it was true.

pancakerabbit · 04-24-2003, 08:17 PM

Yeah, I hate people who take obviously fake and hilariously chain letters seriously >_>

forgotten_dream · 04-25-2003, 02:12 AM

Heh. God I hate getting chain letters like that. Still, the fake one's are funny!

ratbastid · 04-25-2003, 05:11 AM

It's the signoff that kills me. Billy "Smiley" Evans. Hys-frigging-sterical!

04-24-2003, 03:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
RenegadeSoul Banned Location: British Columbia	BILLY EVANS My name is Billy Evans, and I'm a nine-year-old boy. My mother is typing this for me because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad. I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base. Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10. If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a po or little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy? Thank You, Billy "Smiley" Evans

04-24-2003, 08:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
pancakerabbit Tilted	Yeah, I hate people who take obviously fake and hilariously chain letters seriously >_> __________________ I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. - Jack Handey

04-25-2003, 02:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
forgotten_dream Psycho	Heh. God I hate getting chain letters like that. Still, the fake one's are funny! __________________ "A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."

04-24-2003, 04:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
BubblegumTeflon Insane	You know the sad part about this is that even though it's so obviously fake and downright hilarious, some people still thought it was true.

04-25-2003, 05:11 AM	#5 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	It's the signoff that kills me. Billy "Smiley" Evans. Hys-frigging-sterical!