Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community (https://thetfp.com/tfp/)
-   Tilted Humor (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/)
-   -   Verses for Mothers Day Cards (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/156733-verses-mothers-day-cards.html)

astroid60 10-24-2010 01:34 PM

Verses for Mothers Day Cards
 
There once was a woman named Mother,
Who always did favour my brother.
But now that he's dead,
Mother senses with dread
That *her* nursing home's worse than the others.

I love you when you're happy.
I love you when you're sad.
I love you though you told me,
The milkman is my dad.

I'm going to Denmark, Mother, Dear,
For some changes of which you'll learn.
You always wanted a little girl --
Well, you'll have one when I return.

tasineah 10-24-2010 11:36 PM

Bravo my dear...now, shall we hear some for Father too?

sweet release 10-25-2010 02:39 AM

those are great.

:)

Redlemon 10-25-2010 07:21 AM

"Mother's Day Song", by Paul & Storm:

Quote:

Mother’s Day is here
Everybody give a cheer
For the ladies that we call our Mother Dear

I tried to find a card
But you know, it’s really hard
To find the one that captures all the love that’s in my heart

And so instead, I’m singing you this song
Because I am so grateful to you, Mom…

So I say
Thanks for having intercourse with dad
Without a condom, sponge or IUD
Your lack of objection to sex without protection
Made a sperm and egg turn into me

You gave me life, love, a home, and food and clothing every day
I gave you stretch marks and extra weight that never quite went away

I mean it
Thanks for having intercourse with dad
The carnal act that brought me here to you
I don’t know if it was varied or merely missionary
But it sure was good for me; was it for you?

I’m elated that you mated
Your love you consummated
You got inseminated
Then waited and inflated
Inside you I gestated
Until from your womb I cascaded

Thank you Mom…for doing…my Dad!
(I’m so glad that he had you, thanks for doing my Dad)

Lucifer 10-25-2010 07:43 AM

"Oedipus Rex" by Tom Lehrer:

From the Bible to the popular song,
There's one theme that we find right along.
Of all ideals they hail as good,
The most sublime is motherhood.

There was a man, oh, who it seems,
Once carried this ideal to extremes.
He loved his mother and she loved him,
And yet his story is rather grim.

There once lived a man named oedipus rex.
You may have heard about his odd complex.
His name appears in freud's index
'cause he loved his mother.

His rivals used to say quite a bit,
That as a monarch he was most unfit.
But still in all they had to admit
That he loved his mother.

Yes he loved his mother like no other.
His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother.
One thing on which you can depend is,
He sure knew who a boy's best friend is!

When he found what he had done,
He tore his eyes out one by one.
A tragic end to a loyal son
Who loved his mother.

So be sweet and kind to mother,
Now and then have a chat.
Buy her candy or some flowers or a brand new hat.
But maybe you had better let it go at that!

Or you may find yourself with a quite complex complex,
And you may end up like oedipus.
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus,
Than end up like old oedipus rex.

Daniel_ 10-25-2010 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucifer (Post 2833806)
"Oedipus Rex" by Tom Lehrer:

From the Bible to the popular song,
There's one theme that we find right along.
Of all ideals they hail as good,
The most sublime is motherhood.

There was a man, oh, who it seems,
Once carried this ideal to extremes.
He loved his mother and she loved him,
And yet his story is rather grim.

There once lived a man named oedipus rex.
You may have heard about his odd complex.
His name appears in freud's index
'cause he loved his mother.

His rivals used to say quite a bit,
That as a monarch he was most unfit.
But still in all they had to admit
That he loved his mother.

Yes he loved his mother like no other.
His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother.
One thing on which you can depend is,
He sure knew who a boy's best friend is!

When he found what he had done,
He tore his eyes out one by one.
A tragic end to a loyal son
Who loved his mother.

So be sweet and kind to mother,
Now and then have a chat.
Buy her candy or some flowers or a brand new hat.
But maybe you had better let it go at that!

Or you may find yourself with a quite complex complex,
And you may end up like oedipus.
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus,
Than end up like old oedipus rex.

I love this!



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:09 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62