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06-22-2009, 02:29 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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comfortably numb...
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
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Dueling Book Reports
Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.
One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report. Titanic:.... Cost - $29.99 Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99 Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read Clinton :... Over 3 hours to read Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton :... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Titanic:.... Jack is a starving artist. Clinton :...... Bill is a bullsh1t artist. Titanic:.... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton :.... Ditto for Bill. Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica. Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit. Clinton :... Let's not go there. Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery. Clinton :.... Monica' s forced to return her gifts. Titanic:...... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. Clinton :..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack. Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. Clinton :..... Monica.. ooh, let's not go there, either. Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death. Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. |
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