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11-12-2008, 03:20 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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comfortably numb...
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
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Who Put the Dog Out
A couple was going out for the evening.
They'd gotten ready, all dolled up but just needed to put the dog out when the taxi arrives. However as the couple walked out of the house, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver: 'He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother'. A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long' he says. 'Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with the coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the back yard! She better not shit in the vegetable garden again!' The silence in the cab was deafening.
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. |
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11-13-2008, 11:10 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator.
Location: Windiwana
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oh man. hilarious.
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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me. -Pastor Martin Niemoller |
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11-14-2008, 12:04 AM
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#3 (permalink) |
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The Reforms
Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
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Thanks for the chuckle, uncle phil
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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi |
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11-14-2008, 07:30 AM
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#5 (permalink) |
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We work alone
Location: Cake Town
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Aside from the double punchline, it was a great joke.
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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques |
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11-14-2008, 03:58 PM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: At my daughter's beck and call.
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Almost perfect.
__________________
Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state. -Noam Chomsky Love is a verb, not a noun. -My Mom The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later. -Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928 |
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11-15-2008, 06:36 PM
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#8 (permalink) |
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Eat your vegetables
Super Moderator
Location: Arabidopsis-ville
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Oh my. hehe.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy |
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| dog, put |
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