Snoring - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Brewmaniac · 05-30-2008, 04:24 AM

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring.

"Yeah right!" she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.

Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles.

Sure enough, the dog stops snoring! The woman is amazed.

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him.

So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue rib bon and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him!

The woman sleeps soundly.

In the morning, the husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.

He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were, or what we did, but by God, we took first and second place."

Redlemon · 05-30-2008, 07:28 AM

I preferred this version:

<embed src="http://www.seeqpod.net/cache/seeqpodSlimlineEmbed.swf" wmode="transparent" width="300" height="80" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" flashvars="domain=http://www.seeqpod.com&playlistXMLPath=http://www.seeqpod.com/api/music/getPlaylist?playlist_id=d208832b76"></embed>

Ilow · 05-31-2008, 07:47 AM

both good.
Redlemon, we need more musical humor here!

Redlemon · 06-01-2008, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ilow

both good.
Redlemon, we need more musical humor here!

Give me a topic, I'll find you a song. Go.

MexicanOnABike · 06-01-2008, 06:32 AM

topic: bikes

lotsofmagnets · 06-01-2008, 06:39 AM

topic: corporate mergers

Redlemon · 06-01-2008, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lotsofmagnets

topic: corporate mergers

Suffer through this...

Quote:

Originally Posted by MexicanOnABike

topic: bikes

lotsofmagnets · 06-01-2008, 08:38 AM

i hate you.

the kbw was a nice find by the way. i used to sing that song 10 years ago

05-30-2008, 04:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Snoring A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring. "Yeah right!" she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring! The woman is amazed. Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue rib bon and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly. In the morning, the husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were, or what we did, but by God, we took first and second place." __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

05-30-2008, 07:28 AM	#2 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	I preferred this version: <embed src="http://www.seeqpod.net/cache/seeqpodSlimlineEmbed.swf" wmode="transparent" width="300" height="80" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" flashvars="domain=http://www.seeqpod.com&playlistXMLPath=http://www.seeqpod.com/api/music/getPlaylist?playlist_id=d208832b76"></embed> __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

05-31-2008, 07:47 AM	#3 (permalink)
Ilow Junkie Location: Pats country	both good. Redlemon, we need more musical humor here! __________________ "Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about" --Sam Harris

06-01-2008, 06:32 AM	#5 (permalink)
MexicanOnABike Location: up north	topic: bikes __________________ - Movie Reviews - Ratings-

06-01-2008, 06:39 AM	#6 (permalink)
lotsofmagnets Upright Location: reykjavík, iceland	topic: corporate mergers __________________ mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor. she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron. physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

06-01-2008, 08:38 AM	#8 (permalink)
lotsofmagnets Upright Location: reykjavík, iceland	i hate you. the kbw was a nice find by the way. i used to sing that song 10 years ago __________________ mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor. she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron. physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?