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06-10-2003, 10:32 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
Location: In the dust of the archives
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Too smart 1st grader
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9" Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36" And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree. Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Harry: "Legs" Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!) Harry: "Pockets" Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants" Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...) Harry: "Coconut" Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" Harry: "Bubblegum" Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...) Harry: "Shake hands" Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?" Harry: "Yup" Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do." Harry: "Tent" Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." (Principal was looking restless and bit tense) Harry: "Wedding Ring" Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When youblow me, you feel good." Harry: "Nose" Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver." Harry: "Arrow" Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?" Harry: "Fire truck" The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his ass in the sixth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."
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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt. |
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06-10-2003, 12:47 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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We can't stop here! This is bat country!
Location: SL,UT
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great!
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Brian: “Ok, all we’ve gotta do is find the American Embassy, and they’ll help us get home” Stewie: “Home? I have no intention of returning to that disgusting hovel with that intolerable woman, that fat slob, and that insufferable dog… Oh, you’re right here aren’t you? Oh well, I stand by it." |
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06-10-2003, 02:06 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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Desert Rat
Location: Arizona
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I wouldn't have been able to answer those with the right answer myself.
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"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V |
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| 1st, grader, smart |
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