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-   -   New Weight Loss Program (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/10908-new-weight-loss-program.html)

Bill O'Rights 06-09-2003 10:22 AM

New Weight Loss Program
 
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lb. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. "Are you sure?", asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine!"

BigBlueWrecking 06-09-2003 01:08 PM

Hilarious

Raw Kuts 06-09-2003 01:26 PM

great joke, last time I heard the second program was a gorilla.

vulture 06-09-2003 01:38 PM

lol, actually made me laugh out loud :)

Atanvarno 06-09-2003 02:44 PM

LMAO, heard it before but laughed nonetheless ... very good one :)

viveleroi0 06-09-2003 03:28 PM

it would work

SirLance 06-10-2003 05:59 PM

Oh, man... run! Run you poor bastard! Run!

Flesh 06-10-2003 06:59 PM

rofl

DEI37 06-10-2003 07:17 PM

I think I'd kill myself dead if I saw Richard Simmons like that! I'd be ruined for life.

Baddflash 06-11-2003 06:45 PM

I'd have to kill him there's no way I'd outrun that flamer!LOL

Midlandmadman 06-12-2003 09:19 AM

he should have just stuck with his original plan.......... good joke!!!

bravo49 06-12-2003 09:54 AM

Heard it before, but still good

opentocomments 06-12-2003 12:40 PM

.9mm all i am going to say


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