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05-30-2006, 12:15 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Upright
Location: Pensacola
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Ever Wonder???
Some of these have been on TFP before, but some are new.
Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? |
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05-30-2006, 12:24 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Asshole
Administrator
Location: Chicago
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Seriously, I want an answer to the assassination one!
__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo |
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05-30-2006, 12:29 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Assassination is a subset of murder. Assassination is murder for political reasons. Were President George W. Bush shot in a drive by shooting, I'd call that murder, as I would if President Bill Clinton were killed by someone because of a love quarrel. But if someone kills their mayor over a zoning issue, that's assassination.
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
Last edited by maleficent; 05-30-2006 at 12:45 PM.. |
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05-30-2006, 12:49 PM
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#4 (permalink) | |
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Getting it.
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
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Quote:
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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke |
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05-30-2006, 06:05 PM
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#7 (permalink) | |
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Psycho
Location: Yellowknife, NWT
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Quote:
Because Goofy, and his Girlfriend are both cows. /spends way too much time with his daughters EDIT: Never mind then , I just got pwnd by myself A dog dating a cow. Wow man, just wow. I need a drink.
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"Whoever you are, go out into the evening,
leaving your room, of which you know each bit; your house is the last before the infinite, whoever you are." |
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