Pregnancy Q & A - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

zz0011 · 05-15-2006, 01:51 PM

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

feelgood · 05-15-2006, 02:36 PM

Anyone wanna take a wild guess that the questions were answered by a blonde?

Elphaba · 05-15-2006, 04:02 PM

^^^ More likely someone that has been pregnant before.

CSflim · 05-16-2006, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Nice!

Redlemon · 05-16-2006, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zz0011

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

The first time my mother-in-law changed my son's diaper, she got a 'baby shower'. She had only raised girls...

SirLance · 05-16-2006, 02:10 PM

That's a great list. Also, a work of non-fiction...

Grasshopper Green · 05-16-2006, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zz0011

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Thanks for my laugh out loud moment of the day

Plaid13 · 05-19-2006, 06:31 PM

hehehe babyshower thats just classic

05-15-2006, 01:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
zz0011 Crazy Location: buckle of the snow belt	Pregnancy Q & A Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college. __________________ 10th sig ~> "How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms?" -- Aristotle

05-15-2006, 02:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
feelgood Free Mars! Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time	Anyone wanna take a wild guess that the questions were answered by a blonde? __________________ Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

05-16-2006, 02:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	That's a great list. Also, a work of non-fiction... __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

05-15-2006, 04:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
Elphaba Deja Moo Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA	^^^ More likely someone that has been pregnant before.

05-19-2006, 06:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
Plaid13 I want a Plaid crayon	hehehe babyshower thats just classic