Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-24-2006, 11:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
Comedian
 
BigBen's Avatar
 
Location: Use the search button
Newlyweds

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other."

He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up, took off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, "That was incredible!"

He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along."

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end. She did laps in freestyle, breast-stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing heavy.

He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"

"No, she said, "I was a hooker in Detroit and I worked both sides of the river."
__________________
3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.
BigBen is offline  
Old 04-24-2006, 11:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
giggle giggle giggle giggle giggle giggle...
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 04-24-2006, 03:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Seattle
ohho that was gooood....
Topper is offline  
Old 04-24-2006, 08:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
Devils Cabana Boy
 
Dilbert1234567's Avatar
 
Location: Central Coast CA
hehe, cool.
__________________
Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen
Dilbert1234567 is offline  
Old 04-24-2006, 08:38 PM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
hahah!!!
raiha is offline  
Old 04-25-2006, 01:21 PM   #6 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Missouri
That is great.
Delvid is offline  
Old 05-02-2006, 03:22 PM   #7 (permalink)
Insane
 
clever! I love it.
rlbond86 is offline  
Old 05-02-2006, 05:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
has been
 
qweds's Avatar
 
Location: Chicago
laughing is good.
__________________
tim(mah)
qweds is offline  
Old 05-02-2006, 08:03 PM   #9 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SirLance's Avatar
 
Location: In the middle of the desert.
Hilarious! Good one!
__________________
DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.
SirLance is offline  
Old 05-04-2006, 10:01 AM   #10 (permalink)
Upright
 
that was good, i liked it alot
__________________
this is me, i'm lil fle
lilfle is offline  
Old 05-19-2006, 06:38 PM   #11 (permalink)
I want a Plaid crayon
 
Plaid13's Avatar
 
Wonder just how many people are married to ex hookers and dont know it.
Plaid13 is offline  
 

Tags
newlyweds

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:25 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360