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-   -   I showed her..! (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/103607-i-showed-her.html)

itch vaccine 04-19-2006 09:20 AM

I showed her..!
 
From a guys point of view......

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says:

I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying:

"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out:

"No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that biotch knows I'm smarter than her.

maleficent 04-19-2006 09:29 AM

I've heard this one before - but it always makes me giggle...

Dilbert1234567 04-19-2006 09:44 AM

Quote:

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....
or for the next few weeks...

never heard that one befor, great joke, thanks

Gatorade Frost 04-19-2006 11:05 AM

It's an old one but a great one. It never fails to crack me up.

Toaster126 04-19-2006 03:34 PM

I like the jokes\stories that are entertaining but have that lesson hidden in them as well. :)


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