Out of the mouth of babes... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

PastorTim · 01-29-2006, 01:58 AM

Not original, to be sure, and some of these may have been around before, but I think they are still cute.
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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white"?

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black"?
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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran, she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

He answered "Call for backup."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters"?

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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At Sunday School, they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter"?

Little Johnny moaned, "I have pain in my side...I...I...I think I'm going to have a wife...!"
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Two boys were walking home from church after hearing a strong sermon on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff"?

The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad."
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~ Smile and Have A Great Day ~

aKula · 01-29-2006, 04:50 AM

Those were great, thanks for sharing.

grumpyolddude · 01-29-2006, 06:44 AM

Thanks, PT. Some good ones I can share with my kids!

Brewmaniac · 01-29-2006, 11:14 AM

These are good. Thanks!

SirLance · 02-03-2006, 06:09 AM

Especially the last one! Great list!

PDOUBLEOP · 02-03-2006, 07:12 AM

I have one that my nephew said to me which I thought was hilarious. My brother-in-law is always quite flirtatious with his wife and when he makes comments such as "I'm in the mood" she always tells him that he's sick. It's like a running joke with them. One day I was at their house hanging out and I was going through a fairly nasty head cold, my 4 yr old nephew walked up to me and out of the blue says "I'm in the mood". I said you are? Why? He said "cause you're sick"

01-29-2006, 01:58 AM	#1 (permalink)
PastorTim Tilted	Out of the mouth of babes... Not original, to be sure, and some of these may have been around before, but I think they are still cute. ----- Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white"? "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black"? ----- A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran, she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!" ----- Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!" ----- A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered "Call for backup." ----- A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters"? Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." ----- At Sunday School, they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter"? Little Johnny moaned, "I have pain in my side...I...I...I think I'm going to have a wife...!" ----- Two boys were walking home from church after hearing a strong sermon on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff"? The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad." ----- ~ Smile and Have A Great Day ~

01-29-2006, 04:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
aKula Psycho	Those were great, thanks for sharing. __________________ "I am the wrath of God. The earth I pass will see me and tremble." -Klaus Kinski as Don Lope de Aguirre

01-29-2006, 06:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Thanks, PT. Some good ones I can share with my kids! __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

01-29-2006, 11:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	These are good. Thanks! __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

02-03-2006, 06:09 AM	#5 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Especially the last one! Great list! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

02-03-2006, 07:12 AM	#6 (permalink)
PDOUBLEOP Insane	I have one that my nephew said to me which I thought was hilarious. My brother-in-law is always quite flirtatious with his wife and when he makes comments such as "I'm in the mood" she always tells him that he's sick. It's like a running joke with them. One day I was at their house hanging out and I was going through a fairly nasty head cold, my 4 yr old nephew walked up to me and out of the blue says "I'm in the mood". I said you are? Why? He said "cause you're sick" __________________ ef you-you effing ef