I'm Sober!!!!
 

I've been sitting here all day and I haven't had a drink! I am soooooo sober.

My GOD! I don't think I've ever been this sober and posting on the interweb... what about you?

Have you ever been as sober as this? I doubt it...



Man, I am going to be hurting tomorrow when this sobriety wears off.

Oh man, me too...just a few hours ago I didn't spend two hours praying to the porcelain goddess after not downing 8 shots of Tequila!

I am so hungunder.

Hahah...yeah, me too. After the pub crawl on Saturday, I haven't touched a drink at all. Sober as a goddamn judge.

Well im not!

Oh man! I totally had 4 glasses of water today! I am so hydrated! Woo!

I'm so sober my head hurts ... whats the doctor's prescription?

Hair of the dog!

My parents are visiting... stupid soberville here. *yawn*

Went to the fridge the fredge was bare, went to my wallet the wallet was bare.....gonna be a verrrrrry long weekend!!!!!

I am so on the sobriety wagon I should join, Non-alcoholic beverages anonymous...


Hello my name is Charltan and I don't have a drinking problem.

Man, I am like... no sheets to the wind right now.

Totally nonshitfaced.

I am SO sorry.
While I am cold sober at the moment, I have a fridge quite literally full of beer, about half of which I made myself.

Flip side is I really can't use it this weekend while I try and get the nicotine out of my system.

I am so conscious right now.

I am so legally able to drive and operate heavy machinery and firearms.

I am so not going to have a good excuse for staring at that hot teachers tits.

I really should go out and operate heavy machinery right now while I have the chance.

*can't partake in thread*

That's OK flyman... I think I am sober enough for both of us.

I am as sober as a minister's wife on a month of Sundays.

My advice is to take 2 shots and call me in... actually dont call just repeat the 2 shots as needed until you cure yourself of your problem.

Well I can safely say that I wasn't all that sober last night and now I am quite hung-over.

Christmas parties can do that to a guy.

just call me judge fly..............



for now eh!!!!

Wow. This might be a first. :lol:

don't forget about the "for now" man..........



:thumbsup:

going out drinking with my golf partner in about five minutes, but right now my breath could grow flowers...

So that's why you have a shit eating grin... :lol:

ahahhhahha...........he fuckin' nailed ya' phil.......... :D



*atta boy Charlie........hit 'em while they're down*

Reality creeping in, everything so god damn logical and crystal clear. Naked Lunch has NOTHING on being sober!

I'm high. Would that be considered sober?

Uh oh! One glass of My Dad's Recipe Egg Nog and... I'm posting in the wrong thread!

I've got over sixty lbs of malted grain, 10 oz hops, 3 lbs each of malt extract and unrefined sugar, a couple billion yeast cells happily budding away in a starter solution, recipes for a double IPA at 10% abv and an oatmeal stout at half that, vague intentions of getting a second running off the double IPA mash (thus generating 16 1/2 gallons of beer), but all that starts turning to beer on Sunday. Today, well, I'm a little messed up on cold med'cine but more or less sober.

fuck me...just...fuck me...

that he did...

You know... you really aren't my type. But can I make a suggestion? You will have better luck finding someone if you brush your teeth... :lol:

Phil, you'd also have better luck if you went into a thread titled "I'm Drunk and Horny!!!" than you would in one titled "I'm Sober!!!"

i quit....

AA is for quiters phil.........

so, if i get drunk and get laid i can get back in the club?

wait, i need to be sober?

never mind...

*passes by thread once again*

Depressingly and overtly sober. Have to go back to work tomorrow. Spent much of my 11 day vacation unable to post here. Wait.... do muscle relaxers count? Oops..

/slinks out door.

I went to a bar and I asked for a drink,
They gave me a glass and they showed me the sink.

CHORUS:
Hallelujah, I'm a bum,
Hallelujah, bum again,
Hallelujah, give us a handout
To revive us again.

I'm off the wagon for the moment... Hendrick's and Tonic in hand... lalala

you doin' that with the cucumber slice, like it suggests?

stone, and cold.

most unfortunate.

*says nothing*



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...finecoffee.jpg










no need too..........yummmmmmm


*okay...says something*

1 oz creme de cacao

1/2 oz bailey's

top it off with coffee

stir with a mother fucking cinnamon stick baby...:D

(whip creme is extra eh)

:thumbsup:

stoned, and cold.

most fortunate.




:D

I'm so sober that it's been like two years since I even got buzzed at all.

nahhh... that would be fruity.


I can't believe I hijacked my own thread...

try it.....

Sounds like you could top that off with swampwater and it would be yummy. (Of course, if you also threw in an ounce and a half of brandy, then you'd really be in business.)

Unfortunately, I am decidedly un-buzzed right now. Perhaps in a few moments....

I'm so sober I'm going to have a damn hang-under tomorrow.

sotally tober. i swear.

Judges have nothing on me...

i am so hung sober right now........

I don't believe that anyone here is sober.

/me begins to build his second bourbon and coke of the evening, whilst preparing an evening repast of stuffed grouper with wild rice...

Take me drunk, I'm home!

.....nah, I'm sober as a hangin' judge on Easter Sunday...unfortunately. Sigh.

You could bottle my blood and market it as "instant sobriety".

I can't believe I am sober again...

I mean really... what the fuck?!?!

Get off
http://www.daveharrisdrums.com/image...he_Wagon_I.JPG
before it is too late!

that's you 2nd from the right eh GH?


.........and yeah...........it's already too late.

That is not me.
No wagon can contain me.

sober
 

been sober now for 23 years, or so......but I drank like I thought prohibition was going in the next day..
and you know what they say..."If you quit drinking, you don't live longer, it just seems longer"

spill the wine and take that pearl...

A little hair of the gnome that bit me,
will suffice.

Well, I'm not up on my gnomenclature at the moment, and IB 38, But I am surely sober enough to star in a hollywood movie. I'm as sober as three judges. Four is one of them is Irish. I have less booze in me right now than Kolob.

I am so sober I feel like I ought to go watch Meet the Press, but that's not until tomorrow.

/ Jesus wants his fucking whistle.

Well ok then.

I haven't had money to drink for on a very long time now so I'm experiencing one of the worst hungunders in all my life right now... but I kinda like it.

Sobriety can really sap the life out of you. I need a beer.

I am so sober, Tool's lawyer called me to tell me that I better have a drink soon or he's going to sue me for royalties.

I long for the oblivion of cheap spirits.

to quote Caustic Christ:
"Sobriety Sucks"

you know its odd, i googled the lyrics for this song, and one of my post here on the tfp is the 7th down.

Char, i basically live on cheap spirits. we cant all afford the good stuff.

http://www.thewhiskyexchange.com/Pro...N%2FBLA7&w=150

delirium tremens

Myes, myes. DT's all the way.

speaking of which, i would really enjoy a sam adams right now.

::shakes:: need....seasonal...beer.

oh dude....
hey..

later...cannttt typeee to welll.....yet...

Sigh....

I have actually been on that wagon! Several times, in fact. I'd post a picture, but in all of them I am a minor. Bummer.

I'm sober at the moment. Can't say what I'll be like later.

sorry Charliw......pretty pissef right now.so....................i'll jusy go.

weeeeeeee..............


far from sover her..........not bad tying thouht eh?????>?>>?


later man.......



i fuckin' love you eh.........

I love you too fly... :lol:

I was sober fifteen minutes ago....
no I lied...
two hours ago...

I wasn't any fun.

I was very *not* sober a day or so ago. It was good for a while and then it was not. The key to a lack of sobriety is the amount of sobriety you are lacking.

I am painfully sober now.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-WC Fields (or Henny Youngman - one of them said this, one of them said something else very like it.)

yeah i just ran out of pot and theres no beer in the fridge.

it looks like ill have to do something -shudders-...

... Productive

I'm so sober right now. I could totally pass a breathalyzer test. AND count backwards from 100. AND walk a straight line on the shoulder.

Yep. Completely sober.

this weekend, despite a reasonable effort and a strong desire to be drunk, I was terribly sober.

it was a sobering experience.

straight as an arrow here.............but..............


.................that'll change.

kinda like betting that the sun will rise in the morning... :)

i am that predictable aren't i?

oh...........and the sun is up here already phil.........might as well get started eh?

Sober again. Not so much last night. Makers Mark and Homebrew. Neither have much fiber in them. Grr.
The clear light of Sobriety gifts me with a full appreciation of the after-effects of the lack thereof.

Do we have the will power to stay away from Mexican beer today? Do we even want to stay away from Mexican beer today? If you don't like Mexican beer is it OK to drink any other kind of beer? Why am I asking all these questions instead of just drinking beer? Why does Cinco de Mayo only happen once a year? Is it OK if I drink lots of beer on other days? Anybody know any answers to these questions?

I am sober,and I plan to stay that way.
It feels good.

This coffee sure tastes good.

I'm so sober that I am seeing Grey Elephants. At the Zoo.

2 B & Cs at the golf course with lunch and i'm still sober...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Polish fellow walk into a bar.

The Brit says, "Barkeep, a W&W if you please."

"W&W?" quoth the bartender?

"Whiskey and water, my good man. Whiskey and water."

So the bartender pours the Englishman a whiskey and water and heads down the bar to the Frenchman who orders, "Un RW, sil vous plait."

The barkeep says, "Not familiar with an RW. Is that a French thing?"

"Only if you do it right," says the Frenchman, "Red wine."

"Red Wine. Check. Coming up," and the bartender pours him one.

Now, the Polish fellow is impressed with the suave and secret language the other Europeans have displayed in their orders, so he decides to give it a shot himself, so when the bartender says, "And what can I get for you?" the Polack says, "a 15."

"What," the long suffering publician asks, "is a 15?"



"Seven and Seven"

/ Thanks, I'll be here all the week.

still sober....
fun to have my witties still wit me too.