y'all are goin' ta HAIL!!!

It comes from living in a house of estrogen...

How the mighty have fallen.

My manhood is now in a jar outside
http://www.traipse.com/thing_in_a_ja...g_in_a_jar.jpg
I visit it from time to time

Sir! Is that a shoe in there?

I sense a new power...

GIANT SUSHI!
http://static.flickr.com/51/13573010...8ec3f2.jpg?v=0

The question is: Is Giant Sushi a friend or foe? Will Giant Sushi seek to fell the un-manned Giant Hamburger?

There can be only one!

Giant Sushi and I used to hook up when my adventures found me in the mysterious orient.
Sweet kid.

Occidentally my IO ate some bad sushi a few weeks ago. It wasn't a pretty experience.

The emasculation is complete...

http://de.gizmodo.com/060930_fast_food_mini.jpg

How the mighty have fallen.

AH!!! Giant Sushi!!

Giant Sushi was very popular for a while here in Tokyo... he even knocked SMAP off the number one boy band spot with his cover release of American Pie...

but then everyone realised that he was a pawn for the lesser deity, Colonel Sanders...
http://photos21.flickr.com/29833089_...g?v=1122786903

the colonel has many guises and can never be trusted... especially after his role in the foiled assasination attempt of the last Tokugawa Shogunate...
http://www.planetps2.com/mmcafe/appp...ai_sanders.jpg

after the people found out about the Colonels involvement with and overall control of the Giant Sushi... they rebelled... but the Colonel then released his miniature, slightly pudgy version of Godzilla and Mothra...
http://members3.jcom.home.ne.jp/kaij...oc02_64gm2.jpghttp://members3.jcom.home.ne.jp/kaij.../co_bs_mos.jpg

... and all spirit was lost...
its a little known fact, but this incident was a major factor in the bursting of the japanese bubble economy just a few decades ago.

i wonder where the Giant Sushi is hiding now... ???

Lately I have been highly sprung and I fear this thread has been bad for my swerves.

Your swerving maintains an even keel.

Springs bounce. Or slink. Or flow...

Some people like HP sauce on their burgers... Giant Hamburger prefers a little HP Lovecraft on his...

http://weblog.pell.portland.or.us/~o...MiteBurger.jpg

i always thought GH 'was' HP Lovecraft?

I feel secure in his shadow.

My spies have managed to find out what GH has being doing in his backyard... His manhood removed and organic procreation now beyond him, the monster has adapted... be afraid.

http://www.spacehijackers.co.uk/imag...germachine.jpg

His madness knows no bounds (now with extra evil flow charts!!!).

GH's marketing team has been working overtime... I fear that after this missive they were all tossed into his backyard machine for incompetence (Burgers are *never* just an alternative in the world of GH).

http://www.superdecisions.com/imgs/l...rger_icon.jpeg

GH is now unstoppable. His power exceeds all rational thought. He can use a videogame controller as a phone.

http://img353.imageshack.us/img353/3...600talkwq0.jpg

Im going blind on that... it hurts.

I laughed more than I should have until my IO refused to even look at it.

Go figure.

Of course, it's his sauce.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...3&id=659350302

Interestingly, this is the profile pic on facebook for one of my best friends.
I think she would make a good match for GH.

I want Mrs. GH to wear an outfit like that
but that's no secret.

I could also desperately use right now a large tentacle with a pincher on the end.

Or a reach-around?

I will now add that to the list of things to do when I get my large tentacle with a pincher on the end.

The first one's for free!

dude...........they just saved a 7 pound lobster...........maybe you could borrow his massive left claw.


would that work?


lobsters grow them back no?

Lobster squeaks on my teeth.

The cephalopods I can eat.

How Burgers are Made

There is magic in a cow that can only be unlocked by inscrutable grindings.

...and little blue-hatted fairies.

Sometimes, in the dark morning, before the sun warms up the day I can hear the inscrutable grindings of little blue-hatted fairies in the attic.

I dare not go up there and see what can not be unseen.

What's the high score?

http://www.crazykong.com/cabs/burger...ScreenPicB.jpg

I could be a new and improved (not radiated or gbh'd)
ingrediant. unsulphered of course.

ssshhh....don't tell..it is a long kept secret...guys will make passes,
at gals who cook with molasses.

So much for the sauce idea.

Hail Ring!

Save your molasses for the OCTODOG!
http://www.thegreenhead.com/imgs/octodog-2.jpg
I don't really know what that means

There is a flourishing black market in nose hairs of bovinity.

The thread fills with the blue smoke of black cilia
As we puff and hoosh a bowl of crackling bovinity
Our wyrd will spare us if we remain undoomed and courage strong

I gotta sneeze now
when I open my eyes
what queen of parallel will hound me?

http://img.groundspeak.com/waymarkin...25d41b17d3.jpg
A giant queen!

check
matie.

I will be forever your sauteed mini-onion
I am paper trained.

I think I might be in love.

thanks alot Charlie............


*feels like a measly french fry*

Ah-hah!

I am not.

when the bovines are prostrate,
it will rain.
when not, it won't.
black and white thinking happens,
where is my jersey,
time to suit up.

My newest secret is my littlest finger...
It is weak and misguided.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...bentfinger.jpg
I fear it will betray me.
Should I cut it off and wear it around my neck?

It might have a point..
would it still be functional as a dousing tool around your neck?

This is serious..so give it no thought whatsoever.

Perhaps it is not weak and misguided. Perhaps it is just stronger than your other flanges and points true.

Perhaps it is trying to tell you something that your weaker fingers cannot (or dare not).

"Ask not at whom the fickle finger points. The finger points at you."

My finger points to the truth!

It's no longer a secret and has been replaced by a new one...RATS!

They now flourish in my attic.

After consulting with the very expensive experts on rat warfare I have concluded that I will conduct the distasteful police action on my own.

Certainly there will be a period of violence when I lose myself in the dusty jungle of my attic. Heavily laden with snap traps, my peanut butter painted face will hardly be recognizable to my loved ones as they avert their wide-eyed gaze from my blood-stained necklace of ears on a cord woven from the severed tails of furry terrorists.

Feel free to give me your suggestions as how to successfully accomplish my mission. I hope that soon we shall drink wine together from the tiny chisel-toothed skulls of my hated enemy.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD!
(and possibly pics)

I have 'Special' cats
that have only eaten the meat of hellhounds,
whose sole diet consists of horehound candy,lime jello and Tang.

They live with my mother.

They juggle nicely.

GH.........my labs are rodent killers............it moves in,but it never gets out alive.


i have sent them in my mothers house.........and they were both victorious.


might i lend them to you?

Ahoy!

First you get the cat to get the rat and then the dog to get the cat and then a snake to get the dog and then an elephant to get the snake and then a rat to get the elephant. My attic is not large enough for such a menagerie.

I will stick to death by archaic spring technology.
They'll get SPRUNG!

But the Rodent War has begun with an ill omen...

My entire household of ladies came to work yesterday and took me home early with the explicit demand that I crawl beneath the house and eliminate the sickly sweet smell of death that had begun to permeate the house through the floor.

It was just an Opossum playing dead.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...r/unpossum.jpg
He stayed in character all the way to the dumpster.

Have I angered some small urban animal god?

It appeared, a bit,
as though sauce might be involved.
...with all due respect.

Maybe there was sauce on his face before the rats gnawed it off.
Just Maybe.

let them kill themselves off man............



....and document it.



just a thought.

Dress them in blue hats and pose them well.

Stuffed Possum

POSSUM 1 possum (whole)
1 qt. cold water
1/8 cup salt
5 beef bouillon cubes
2 bay leaves
3 celery stalks (chopped)
2 onions (sliced)
1 bag packaged stuffing

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Soak possum in cold salt water for 10 hours. Rinse meat in cold water and refrigerate 2-4 hours. Prepare stuffing according to package directions. Stuff possum cavity with prepared packaged stuffing. Close cavity tightly. Place stuffed possum in roasting pan, add water, bouillon cubes, bay leaves, celery and onion. After 2 hours turn meat. Reduce heat to 300 degrees. Cook for 1 more hour. Test roast, if not done reduce heat and cook until done.

Don't forget a splash of hot sauce added when you turn the temperature down.

The clue to the secret,
.................is
........

Dearest Ring,

I am sending my carriage over to take you to my castle for a visit.
You do not need to pack.
I have included an outfit for the evening's celebration.
http://joykampia.com/fashion/lo-res/...ess(front).jpg
I hope I have sized you correctly.
As mentioned before, don't speak to the driver.

Looking forward to seeing you,
-GH

1 red x means I am not too fat for company yet.
I have garlic breath,
and I don't shave my legs.

Breathing and legs are optional.

Which begs a question I may not ask. Still I must ask.

Quoth the Burger: "This is my body you eat"

http://www.yardwear.net/blog/content...sh-Taylor1.jpg

My secret today is I have a romantic heart
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...ficialvday.gif
and it is still beating in my hand.

you needed a dagger for that?


and i thought you'd be a bare hands kinda guy.......

One sharp side-ways glance from his Eminence, was surely enough to eviscerate.

Sometimes an obsidian blade is the only thing that will suffice.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1..._valentine.gif

Well, surely, sometimes,
'til you're willing to pretend
you can otherwise.

Obsidian blades? We don't need no stinking obsidian blades...

I've got your Valentine right here!!
http://www.indyjones.it/tempiogal/mola.jpg

MINIONS!

Toying with Sacrifice is a Dangerous Game.

http://www.agilitynut.com/05/10/roach.jpg

unleashed now in your room is the Giant Malignant Property
Cthulu relative to whatever is happening here
conjured through your Playing with Important Rituals
your "accidental" Repetition of Key Words
within an otherwise Trivial Heart Removal
performed
at the Wrong Time
on the Wrong Day.

the Giant Misidentified Insect
who turns the ball of dung that is the Earth
and by turning it makes time happen:
privy to multiple registers of Secret Information I am
all kinds of new shit


http://www.fileitunder.com/uploaded_...ice-720240.jpg

Giant Malignant Property, ew ....

I ain't skeered o' nuttin' - 'cept dose. Eek. Crunch. Splat. Shudder.

Carrying A Torch Just Might Be A Capital Offense..
Or A Capital Catharsis...

As Such..
Who
Can.......
..........
Or
Is Willing
To
Deliver
Punishment..

If All Flails...

"Oh! Whip me! Beat me!"

Beating a dead horse would involve reviving the 'dead thread' Maestro..

do we dare to tempt the fickle lady finger of Fatima?

;)

I love the choice of pink for your font...

Makes me think warm thoughts.

http://blog.lib.umn.edu/klugx004/the...ages/brain.jpg

uh-oh...Gelatin...

Hey GH... what's eatin' at ya?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/4...74_rat_416.jpg

no,no...........you gotta spell it wrong.


mystro............


see............that's phil.:thumbsup:


..........nice brain you got there Charlie.

There's always room for brains...

I believe that GH is getting ready to make a move... make a... change.

http://www.johnmariani.com/archive/2...4/invasion.jpg

Be ready...

http://www.filminamerica.com/Movies/...invasion23.jpg

"You.......yes you.........if you don't eat your rats,you can't have any pudding!"

"how can you have any pudding,if you don't eat your rats?"

There's something growing in his basement that he doesn't want to talk about....
http://massappeal.files.wordpress.co...-snatchers.jpg

Great atrocities will spill forth in the wake of his transformation...
http://blogs.indiewire.com/reversesh...tchjwera23.jpg

that's one ugly fucking dog man..............

Escape while you can! The transformation is almost complete!

http://www.shotgunreviews.com/new/wp.../invasion4.jpg

Escape is impossible...I am prepared to except and relish my fate,as
a fried condiment.

http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/h...cleawebpg5.jpg

*shudder*

It has to be his sauce!

"*shudder*"!

Hail Citizens!

I hope your shudders are in pleasure and not fear or revulsion.

I have come to rely on the constituents of this thread to bolster my spirits when they wane. Sure, we all realize that there is some small chance that I may consume one of you for energy from time to time with swift and efficient predatory strikes but only when necessary and never in anger or with malice.

As you pass through the canals and back-channels between one of my many digestive stations know that your are loved and that I am absorbing your essence only to fuel my most important bodily functions. Your individualistic qualities as well as your caloric value are important to me.

Please continue to frolic and prance through the gardens of this thread.
Your electronic gesticulations stimulate me in a myriad of delightful ways and I am supremely grateful.

Your friend,
-GH

lovely.....now i'm hungry.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...phil/olive.png

...evil olive...

Now...I am ravenous...

I made enough to share...

http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/h...1573kPso_w.jpg

http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/h..._hamburger.jpg

A bird pooped directly in my ear hole this morning on the walk to work.
I was in full stride and it was flying in a perpendicular direction.
It was an incredible shot.
The calculations involved reveal a malignant intelligence I have always suspected.
Only my earphones stopped it from going into my brain.
I suspect trace amounts of avian flu virus H5N1 is now gnawing its way through my delicate eardrum.
My days are possibly numbered.
Just in case, Good bye forever.

I prefer pi...

Take some of this and call me in the morning...

http://www.pyroenergen.com/articles/images/tamiflu.jpg

Remain calm.....the enemy has been identified....

http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/h...gy/birdflu.jpg


Help is on its way..we are sending in the re-inforcements as I type this.
Do not be alarmed...they might be dressed as clowns.

Lock your doors, pull the shades..batten...stuff.

Keep pen and paper handy.

It's getting closer...

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...utoturkey2.gif

I feel the mercy
of the Giant Hamburger
and appreciate.

You need not succumb
to the perils of broadcast
unless you wish to.

(Now I'm going to my happy place to "pray" for you, sir.)

Thank you.

My ghost will keep you warm at night.

Your ghost has kept me warm, and I thank you.