Well, one thing's for certain; you wouldn't stay dead for long.
Beware the poodle bites. (the poodle chews it)

*sweeps up laboratory
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...urgersweep.gif

The real problem with this thread is that it isn't holding my interest as well as it could.

You see, I'm only interested in two things...
Titties
<img src="http://www.urlsinternetcafe.com/coffeebar/elfarol/images1/cleavage.jpg">

and

Beer
<img src="http://www.bottledbeer.co.uk/photos/hoppocket.jpg">

While I was cleaning the house today I was straightening out some of my wife's papers when to my horror, I discovered this!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...87_26Mar05.jpg

It may just look like an innocent pile of paper BUT!!!

I KNOW DIFFERENTLY!!!!

Giant Hamburger has been stalking my wife... He is sending her love letters scented with with beef drippings. Lavishing gifts of Sea Monkeys and little Monkeys with Cymbals.

Is conquering the planet not enough for your appetite?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...86_26Mar05.jpg

So, uhh, if I join the Burger Legion, will I be allowed to snack on underlings for sustenance? And what's the policy on other food types in the legion?

so that's where my damn monkey with the cymbals went....




http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Agency/1773/sm6.jpg

Hail Charlatan!

My appetite is insatiable.
Your wife has not yet accepted my advances.
It is as if I do not exist in her eyes.
Perhaps that will change in the near future.

It is eat or be eaten in the world of the hamburger.
Join me and find out which you will be... bunny or burger!
http://www.bunnies.de/bunnies/summer...ger/enough.jpg

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/tfp/holy_hamburgers.jpg">
blessed are those who indulge in the hamburger?

Sounds like my kind of party. . . OPEN WIDE!!

And don't I get to eat the bunny too?

http://www.savetoby.com

http://www.philipmichelson.com/artwo...iantburger.jpg

It is what happens after business hours that has the authorities concerned... Concerned that is until they were turned to the dark side...

Here is a picture of a man getting consumed by a burger.

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/...iantburger.jpg

Apparently it is in Kitchener, Ontario... who'd have guessed.

http://guelph.701.com/sites/701/IMAGEDIR/page_20637.jpg

When I die I am going to Ontario?

Apparently... many people do consider Kitchener/Waterloo to be their own slice of hell...

Hrmmm... now I'm hungry.

http://www.songpoemmusic.com/graphics/bk_hell/bk_lt.jpg
http://www.eadon.com/comment/cartoons/devilBurger.gif

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...87_26Mar05.jpg

Your wife collects rocks? :thumbsup:
A woman after my own heart. ;) :p

edit: Or is that a picture of rocks? :D

It's a centre piece with candles and rocks... The only rocks my wife has collected are the one's in my head.

My son collects rocks but I don't think he's your type.

:D hahahahaha! :lol:
Thanks for the chuckle! :thumbsup:

http://syphilis.src.uchicago.edu/pic...er/burger2.jpg

It wants me.

http://www.countryday.net/recentnews...0hamburger.jpg

Apparently these women are ready to bow down to their master...

Those were the days!

The world was a simpler place back then.
People believed in Giant Hamburgers.

I will resist bloviation at this time.

Don't miss your opportunity to vociferate... for a power hungry hamburger you are not ususally so diffident.


http://www.stinkburger.com/stinkburgerlogoyellowbg.gif

I am the ghost of Christmas future!

*rattles chains

I knew it!

found this on myspace. It seems apt.

http://g.myspace.com/00051/77/27/51767277_l.jpg

That poor, poor man. I can see his fear. He thought he was ready - garbed in armour and supported by the water elements.

hubris incarnate

great post jwoody.........


all the pretty colours..........

omigosh! i just ran across a pic of <b>Mrs. Giant Hamburger!</b>
gah, isn't she hot & delicious looking??
i mean check out those 2 patties. sexxxxxxxxxyyyyyy!!!!

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/tfp/hamburger.jpg">

//edit: sorry about the borken image. re-hosted. fixed!

*imagines Bernadette eating wife

Ohh baby.....now yer talkin............ :thumbsup:

sorry guys.
do keep imagining, but i have this sudden desire to become a vegetarian.

so, whatcha waiting for? introduce me to Mrs. Celery Stick! ;)

^
|
|
| That is a one track mind...

<embed src="http://www.shanty-chor-binnenschiffer.de/Shanty-chor/Sound/Binnenschiffer%20Ahoi/Hamburger_Veermaster.mp3" autostart="TRUE">

and it will HAVE you. whether you like it or not.

i wrestled with it for a while,
i gave it my all,
but alas, it was too much.
i am beaten.
and covered in condiments.

<a href><img src="http://willheron.com/images/dreamburger.jpg"></a>

Damn! You could ride that burger all day and you still wouldn't eat it all. :D

Imagine my continued surprise...

It's Father's Day and I retire to the front porch to some alone time with a fresh coffee and the Sunday paper... I flip the pages and suddenly the horror returns to the pit of my stomach... for he has reached out once more to touch me.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...32_19Jun05.jpg

A close up

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...31_19Jun05.jpg

I tell you the beast is still alive and he is taunting us... and apparently he is hungry, always hungry.

Why do you fear me?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...ter_burger.jpg
I am not an animal. I am a giant being. I am a hamburger.

GH, I have no idea what this is but it made me thing of you.
http://www.serveyou.com/largestatue/IDno.1382.jpg

Thank you Sticky. It made me think of this...

"...The statuette, idol, fetish, or whatever it was, had been captured some months before in the wooded swamps south of New Orleans during a raid on a supposed voodoo meeting; and so singular and hideous were the rites connected with it, that the police could not but realise that they had stumbled on a dark cult totally unknown to them, and infinitely more diabolic than even the blackest of the African voodoo circles. Of its origin, apart from the erratic and unbelievable tales extorted from the captured members, absolutely nothing was to be discovered; hence the anxiety of the police for any antiquarian lore which might help them to place the frightful symbol, and through it track down the cult to its fountain-head."

<img src="http://www.eccentricamerica.com/images/burger_bike.jpg">
get outta his way!

You must understand - it cannot die.

http://www.maelstormm.com/Pics/Silly/P1010063.JPG

Another thing I have learned at some cost - do not try to read the mind of the hamburger. We are not designed for such sophisticated imput.

http://fairy.mahdzan.com/photos/junk...urger/rb05.jpg

Shit... I don't think it even bleeds...

ACK!

WARNING:
a google image search for "bloody hamburger" produces some uh... rather most bizarre results...

(note: i am not linking any of those said results! yikes)

HAHA GH in all his glory!

GH quoting Lovecraft, I think. And, if not, well, it ought to be.

IA! IA! Hamburger Mna 'Fth'ngui Fgthan!
I have seen his unspeakable juiciness, his obscene buns tastily alurk in the dark rescesses of the human soul. He is the balck Burger in the woods with a thousand chips (and a pickle, and maybe a coke on the side.)

Is it not said, "It is not ground beef which shall eternal lie, and with strange condiments, burgers may fry?"

Ph'nglui mghw'nafh Hamburger R'yleh wagh'nagl ghazhtzgn
In sunken R'yleh, Giant hamburger waits, sizziling.

Be afraid.

As I read Tophat's post I could hear the chopping of onions, the thick sound of ketchup squeezing from a plastic bottle, the sharp *ding* of a frycooks bell . . . I had to quickly hit backspace before the eerie spell of his echoed words pulled me into some hell of condiments and crusty buns.

Please, Tophat - edit your post at least with a warning for those unwary perusers of this thread!

hey GH........would you be offended if i were to say that i'd really like to eat you?

Are you suggesting some sort of unholy communion?

heh....I've known it all along...

And that, my friends, is the looked-for revenge burn!! :p


Are you pink in the center or well done, mon hamburger géant? :thumbsup:

T'is a perilous path we tread here. Indeed, the mad Scots/Arab Abul MacDonald was ground to bits in a bistro in broad daylight by invisible short order cooks.

But is it more dangerous to cry the coming of the Elder Edible ones? Even now, flying hither and thither I hear the sodden wingbeats of Mine-To-Go, the Fungi from Yummoth, porting disembodied stomachs to the Drive Through of Leng, where the Cashier in Yellow waits with the Open-All-Nightgaunts for the Orders for...

The Giant Hamburger...

Or is it more dangerous to keep mum, restrain this horrible knowledge, this medium rare gnosis of unspeakable savory flavor.

No!

I will not be silenced, though I am dragged through the greasetraps of Kadath where the Doles have all they can eat, and the wise Zoogs already know if you want fries with that. Nay! I will cry it aloud lest we all come to a very

greasy

End.

didn't even hurt Fre.........I know he can do better than that.

some1 is goin for the record again...


its a hamburger designed for 20-25 people...

equivalent to 100 quater pounders!!!

i have trouble eating 1 quater pounder at times!!!

http://i14.ebayimg.com/04/i/04/4a/d5/38_1_b.JPG

Is this GH's nemesis, or sidekick?

I think that is Sanjeev the Hindu Dog (no beef thank you).

Attention TFP!

It should be noted that while we were in Rochester this weekend and visiting the George Eastman House we visited the Edward Weston exhibit. At one point ShaniFaye let out with a gasp, "Oh my God, It's Giant Hamburger"...

http://www.fanifay.com/tilted/tfp23.jpg

Sure enough, our giant meaty friend had left his mark in anticipation of our attendance... Seeing as this picture was taken many years ago, and he doesn't look any older today, I present this as further proof of his immortality...

The fact that Christ has left his imprint in the stone above only adds to the mystery (could it be that his leaking ketchup is just a manifestation of stigmata?)


The mind boggles.

This thread is making me hungry! McDonalds here I come! :D

Yes, the burger too is hungry.

http://digicollage.com/1215/cheeseburger.jpg

Reading back through these, I have a "Burger Wapper of Turin" crinkling softly in the back of my noggin.

"Yea, though they ground him, pressed him, seared him upon a grill of hot iron. Though they tortured him with molten cheese, humiliated him with condiments, pelted him with fresh and tasty vegetable, and locked him between two bready buns. Though they wrapped him in an environmetally friendly shroud of recycled paper and imprisoned him on a shelf under hot red lights, cheek by jowl with lowly potatoes, verily he rose again to defeat your hunger!"

Giant Hamburger Fried for your sins!

For those with a giant appetite..

http://www.tammycakes.com/images/Aug2501.jpg

hey GH............i think i love you man.

you wanna dance?

<embed src="http://www.cewip.org/dictionary/food/v1/hamburguer_eng.mp3" autostart="TRUE" hidden="TRUE" loop="TRUE">

<embed src="http://www.cewip.org/dictionary/food/v1/hamburger_de.mp3" autostart="TRUE" hidden="true" loop="TRUE">

*puts thread in space probe and sets course for the center of the sun

...ain't no stoppin' us now!

To the center of the SUN!

http://www.qwantz.com/comics/comic2-407-2.png

http://www.37point5.com/deadGuyPoster.jpg

The carnage continues...

and one about GH's little brother...

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a2...arfield139.gif

Stop helping the Hamburger.

http://www.noveltyradionut.com/html/...r%20B-284).JPG

GH, don't fall for her tricks! That's not a burger, it's a cake disguised as a burger! Imposter, get it out of here!!

Behold! The makings of an unholy feast.
http://www.mjgradziel.com/burger/may05_047.jpg
While most are pleased to take part, others hold up a hand of caution.
http://www.mjgradziel.com/burger/may05_056.jpg
Size matters!!!.
http://www.mjgradziel.com/burger/may05_065.jpg
The master demands only the hottest of fires from the best of wood.
http://www.mjgradziel.com/burger/may05_067.jpg

The high preists intone the incantations...
http://www.mjgradziel.com/burger/may05_071.jpg

Insidious granishes are prepared for it unholy raiment...
http://www.mjgradziel.com/burger/may05_074.jpg
Sound the klaxons! Slay the virgins! Woe to thee who does not bow before greatness!
http://www.mjgradziel.com/burger/may05_076.jpg
And his body was dressed in only the finest of garnishes and cheeses...
http://www.mjgradziel.com/burger/may05_082.jpg
In honour of our dark lord do we here slay his only begotten son!
http://www.mjgradziel.com/burger/may05_096.jpg

UNHOLY COMMUNION DIDST COMMENCE!
http://www.mjgradziel.com/burger/may05_105.jpg

That was quite beautiful.
*wipes tear

Until now, I had never seen a hamburger so large in captivity.

Hail Citizens!

I actually do have a secret.

If the stars align just right, there will be a new tiny hamburger in my life.
The mothership is scheduled to land in July.
I expect to be eaten by my teaming brood ere this year is through.

Remember me fondly,
-GH

This is frightening news.

The power of Burger Giganticus continues to grown and spread.

Heed my warning for soon there will not be enough condiments to go around.

ooooh that's so exciting--- is this a new little meatball?

Congratulations oh exaulted hamburger...

Fear the frothing black sperm of my loins!

I will cover your puny planet with my fecund seed before you can mobilize any effective resistance.
Your fertile women and their soon to be distended abdomens will burst forth a veritable army of my minions.

Just reading this post has a 38% chance of impregnating you.

Congrats on your new forthcoming wee burger, GH. I hope you and the Mrs. have a safe and healthy time of it. :thumbsup:


Now, if only my giant burger gestation period was through. :eek:

That's a visual I could have done without... Please dear god -- of all that is holy - do not post that in Tilted Exhibition...
I'm scared now...

No wonder I felt queasy this morning.

You shall be hearing from my lawyer oh Great sandwhich of sandwhiches.

All of the lawyers work for Giant Hamburger... haven't you been following this thread? He is everywhere and you are next.

i knew it......i fuckin' knew it.


it wasn't the 26er of rum i drank the other night after all.



congrats GH.


:thumbsup:

runs, hides and quivers under cardboard box.

It's too late... the Burger Baby cometh!

http://hongkong.neuerordner.de/archi...y_sandwich.jpg

Hail to all my future Baby Mommas!

Please send your entire catalog of illegitimate hamburgearian offspring to the North Pole for processing and reclamation.
You will be compensated for time spent in gestation.
I prefer medium rare.
Over and out.
-GH

Hail GH!

I arise from my slumber to find your glorious news! Congrats on the... mini-burger? Slider?

Know that a feast will be held in your honour at the 'Bot's humble abode.

Do not try and stop the Giant Hamburger my friends, do not even try and contain him.

A birthday gift for the forthcoming Burger Jr. ..
http://www.balloonco.com/2go/2001ima...0Climb%201.jpg

- A Burger Climb!! :D

Do not draw the attention of my spermatozoa!
http://www.unc.edu/~sstaff/images/gsperm.jpg
It is always in search mode.

You have been warned.
"Love,"
-GH

i might have told you this before GH.......but........i think i wanna eat you man.