Hypothetical situations game
 

Here's how the game works: I give you a situation, a list of things you have on you, and what you are trying to accomplish.


Whoever comes up with the best solution to the problem gets a point.

Ex: You have $100 and a full set of casual clothing, how do you get a date?

Ans: Go to a bar buy a girl a drink and see if she'll come to my place for a home cooked dinner.

The problem will usually be more complex, I may be more creative on some days than others.


So here's the first problem!

You just bought a bag of groceries, all the essentials beer, meat, bread, etc, you see a freind you haven't talked to for a while accross the street. The city is too loud to scream to him. You are at a crosswalk, what do you do?

if i've got all the goodies...fuck'em.i'm outta there

he'll just wanna drink my beer

Run over to him and shove the beer bottle up his ass.

Grab a beer from the bag and hold it high in the air...if he's any friend of mine, he'll see it from a mile away.


BTW, you weren't too clear on the goal. My answer only applies if the goal is to get your friend to notice you.

Good point, thanks for point out my error. For that and your good answer you win round one.


Ruprex : I Point


Situation 2: You've just come home from a hard day of work to find your house/aprt trashed! You have your pocketknife in your pocket along with your wallet. You have no pets, what is your first action to find the criminal. Many things of value have been stolen (if any of you have things of value in your homes)

Flip open the pocketknife and place it against my ear only to realize I accidently didn't grab my cell phone in my panic to call the police.

ahem, take out the pocket knife as a defense while I walk over to my gun safe. Remove handgun. Walk around apartment with said handgun to make sure everyone is gone. Then I would call the police, and sit in the dark waiting in case someone decided to come back.

Take out the pocketknife and slice open my carotid artery and jugular vein. I just can't take that kind of pressure.

Pick up the Whiskey and Tequilla Bottles, Bow my head in shame as I have no clue what I did last nite, but a fun game of Hide & Go Seek for Valuables is about to insue....

(Thats Grade A Shit right there :D:D)

[Note] Just to make sure you know I followed the rules, When I bowed my head in shame, thats when I realize that I was the *Criminal* [Note]

[edit] head is shame --> head in shame [edit]

Use the pocketknife to threaten the people in the house. This is because, as the theif has taken everything of value, it can't POSSIBLY be MY house, because there isn't anything of value here. This means that I'm in someone else's house looking for valuables, so, I threaten the kindly seniors who live here with the pocket knife, saying, "this never happened," repeatedly, all the while backing towards the door. At that point, I run out the door, cut their phone line so they can't call the police, get electrocuted, run screaming into the street, get hit by a car.



Err... yeah.

Winner of this round GakFace. Why you ask? Because knowing you guys it's likely that you were your own criminals! Excluding KWSN who has noting of value.

Scoreboard:
Gakface : 1
Ruprex : 1


Situation 3:
You realize one day that you have become a fat asshole, much like Don Rickles. Do you (A) Live with being a fat asshole and do nothing. (B) Become a better person, lose weight, volunteer, etc. or (C)Find another fat asshole to be freinds with.

Follow-up, why?

A)

This is because it's the easiest. The thing is, I am already an asshole, so I don't have to change that, and I would really like to be fat, as I am, at the present time, already really, really thin. Becoming a fat asshole has actually been somewhat of a goal for me for quite some time.

B)

C) find another fat asshole. One much fatter than me.

for two reasons... 1) when we're out picking up chicks, I'll look slender and muscular standing beside him and 2) when we do pick up the chicks, I can just knock him over onto his belly and he'll roll down the road... leaving me two lady friends :)

It's the winning combination

B)

1. loose weight means you get hotter wemon attracted to you.
2. look better on your wedding day.... or in court.
3. if you boss thinks you look good then you might become the company spokes person

Point goes to two people for thier senseability and abilty to think into the future: Liquid Dreams and manalone.

Scoreboard : LD (LiquidDreams) 1
manalone : 1
Ruprex : 1
Gakface : 1

Sorry bout that Bones.



Situation 4 :

Your computer just started sizzling, it freezes, you whack it a few times and is starts to sizzle louder, you hit the reset button it screams with sizzles, you hit reset again and it totally explodes. Your computer is totally wrecked, you have glass in various areas of your arms, you used them to shield your face. What do you first do to remedy the situation. You are not in any mortaly wounded status but you have at least 5 1cm pieces of glass in you arms.

First: Call insurance agency, This should be covered by home owners insurance.
Second: hmm.. figure out why the hell the freezing didn't stop the sizzling.
third: order a new computer
last: get the glass out of my arm.

Die. What else can I do? My computer's dead. There goes everything I've ever enjoyed. Ever.

Unless it's just the monitor that exploded. In that case, I'd get a new monitor and just attach it to the old hard drive. As for the glass in the arms, I'd just cut the arms off and wait for new ones to grow in. I mean, that's what happens with arms, right?

1. Take pictures of the exploded computer and my injuries.
2. Apply First aid
3. Call a lawyer and sue the PC manufacturer.
4. Eschew electricity and its demon ways, become Amish and live off the court winnings for the rest of my life.

Shrug it off, pull out the glass and then go buy a Mac.
Chalk it up to a learning experience.

The winners KWSN and Bones, Bones wins for Best Over-all Response, and KWSN wins for best and most pointful suicide.


Score :

KWSN : 1
Bones : 1
LiquidDreams: 1
manalone : 1
Ruprex : 1
Gakface : 1


Situation 5:
You just purchased a piece of fresh salmon, not a cheap piece mind you, and it is a hot sunny summers day. You realize that your fresh salmon will quickly begin to rot. It is mid day. Your house is 2 blocks away. How do you get home without letting your fish rot?

Ok, I might be thinking out of the box again, but home isn't the issue. Its how do I have(eat) the fresh salmon and not the rotted Salmon. The answer? Go to the local Pizza Shop and Cook it. :D remember Seinfeld? Kramer got his "Dryer fresh" clothes in a pizza parlor oven? Well they have knives, they have ovens, and i have 20 bucks... in case i have to pay to use the ovens :) Since i'm always hungry, I wouldn't mind eating soon, and while I wait i can always grab a slice of pizza. ;)

Thats probably my best one, and it would be wrong to post more than one response. (I need to check back here often i missed the last 3 :( )
BTW, for the last question.. Why didn't anyone just pass out? You don't feel pain that way, that would've been the best remedy.. heh.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FAT, DUMB BASTARD!!!! You're too slow to make it the two blocks to your house before the salmon rots???

Even if you are (tubby bastard), it's called PLANNING AHEAD. That is just inexcusable, I always plan transportation before I by an assload of salmon in the sweltering heat.

Walk home the two blocks (3 minutes) and put the fish on the floor for the dog and cats, I hate fish.

wrap it in tinfoil and cook it on my engine block as i drove ,first to the beer store then home.

unwrap,add lemon and garlic

what's the problem?

If I don't get home in time with it (I reckon I would), I'd feed it to my fat buddy, after all, he'd eat anything right?

Excellent thinking Gakface!

Score : KWSN : 1
Bones : 1
LiquidDreams: 1
manalone : 1
Ruprex : 1
Gakface : 2

And Gakface takes a lead!


Situation 6:
Your in a race, your leg begins to act up giving you shooting pains up and down the right side of your body. Do you stop running and go to the medic or tough it out and go to a hospital/more serious form of medical care after the race?

I continue to run. It must be an important race if I'm to even consider continuing if I'm undergoing signs of an impending heart attack or stroke. I'm a fast mother fucker so I'm going to assume I'm winning already. So when I run by the medic tent I tell them to charge of their paddles and get their staff ready b/c I might be going down. This way, when I win, they'll be ready to bring me back.

I go to see the medic immediately. The race was a drag; I was spilling the ice out of my drink anyway, and it was a bitch to light up a smoke while keeping pace.
Since I've saved some precious time this way, I'd ask the dude if, on the way to the hospital, we could stop off at the deli. Hospital food sucks.

I continue racing until my heart explodes and I die on the racetrack. Then they'll feel all sorry and posthumously award me the medal. And name the track after me. And all that good stuff that you get for dying.

I'd continue the ENTIRE RACE... I'd finish in excrutiating pain, which the crowd would see. This is good because I would need witnessess. Then comes the hard part. I know I'm already in pain, but manually tripping myself is hard. Specially for me, .... incident of doing so on concrete in the 3rd grade, but i digress.. I'll trip and fall and skin myself up BAD. But unlike other people I'm not going let myself Die. Remember there are witnesses here, Someone should come to my aid. Now They bring me to the hopital as I tell them of the pain I felt and how I took a great fall, then mumble incoherent speech until they put me under. They'll do their best work on me to get me in tip top condition. When I get done I'll say how "I Still want to RUN!!!!!!!!" and they'll love that. I'll be a news story, the whole country will here about it and fall in love with me. Soon I'll be a commentator or something of the nature. Of course there is this thing called the medical bill, which only got worse from my "fall." Well thats where good ol' America comes in. I sue them. Who would I use? I would use Shandell, Blitz, Blitz & Bookson as my Law Firm (link goes to the TFP thread about them, their link is on the thread). I sue them for not letting me be aware of the condition I got in my leg that caused all this to happen. I sue them of the mental anguish of this unknown side effect to cause me to lose the race (even if I was in last, it MIGHT have been different without the pain, no one can argue that). Then naturally I would sue them for something incredibly stupid, that you just wouldn't expect(cause you KNOW thats the one that will positively win in America). Now I have witnesses(remember them?) to show how I got in pain and took a great fall. But sadly since I didn't win, the camera wasn't on me, so there is no "PROOF" that I made myself fall, as I only had one try and couldn't exactly practice the manuever. I also have a new Job, I have the love of the country. A Fanbase to see how I am feeling, if I have started to run again, and how I have inspired others to go on, even through their hardships that they have had. I would have... well I wouldn't have been called a quitter.
Last of all, I wouldn't have to pay my medical bill.
:cool:

--Gak

[edit] Edited to put the final line on a line of its own.[edit]

Well, a marathon is a very hard race to run. Thankfully, I have cheated and didn't start running till the end of the course cutting in and winning. But as the situation goes, my leg starts hurting! What to do! Well, since I just took the lead and they are now closing in, with the finish line just ahead I have only one option. Tackle the other runners. Now as you can imagine that I'd already be in blinding pain and you obviously must be asking how in the world I could tackle someone and still be able to get up and run and win? Well, the tackle as it turns out to be, is more of a fall, and not only that, but I miss! So, I'm on the ground, in blinding pain from my leg, and now my forehead hurts too from hitting the asphalt. There's only one thing left to do. Get trampled. Luckily, since I got trampled, I don't notice my leg hurting anymore. The race ends and I proceed to go to the port-a-jon to heal my wounds.

Terresque, you there?