almostaugust

Every aussie has a Huntsman story or two. Personally, i am reduced to a pathetic screaming fucker every time i come in to contact with these spiders. Here is my latest story.

I was driving back from the boxing at panthers last week. It was pouring outside, and the lights from the other traffic was the only thing illuminating the inside of my car. Suddenly i saw this massive hand sized Huntsman creep slowly accross my dash board. I panic. I call my girlfriend and tell her that im in strife. "Can you see it?" she asks. "Yeah its stopped and looking at me" i tell her. "IIf you make it home, ill run out and kill it" she tells me.
So i slowly tried to make my way home with this fucker perched right on top of my dash just looking at me. Now, as i get near my driveway it starts TO WALK RIGHT AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It pauses right on the edge of the dashboard. I can see it clearly in the streetlight. It is massive and only centimetres from my hand clutching the steering wheel.
So i reach down grab my club lock, never taking my eyes of the beast. DIEEEEEEEEE! I scream as try to club it to death. I miss it, but only got one of its legs. I am vaguely aware of it chucking a monumental hissy fit, as spiders do when attacked. I scream out like the fat kid from The Goonies. My Corolla is small and cramped. I open the door and run out in the rain jumping around with my knees in the air. My girlfriend marches toward the car, torch in hand, locates the beast and kills it easily. I am a blubbering fool at this point, and sheepishly make my way towards the house.

Ella

Awww....they're gorgeous! Unless I'm stoned. Then they scare the crap out of me.



If I see one inside, I try to catch it and release it outside. I'm not keen on having them in the house, but I never kill them.

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Latch

hahahahaah that's awesome.

Fat kid from The Goonies was named Chunk.. how can you forget the Truffle Shuffle?

My first year here (and on res) I was lucky enough to move into a room that had a family of huntsman spiders.. fuckers were high up on the wall too so I couldn't get to em. Freaked me out for quite a while. I would kill them every now and then when I caught em crawling around.... and they'd cover the bottom of my shoe with that yellowish-greenish gook-gutsy stuff that comes out of em.

Anyways, one day the mother (or father.. whatever.. the last of em) came down. This motherfucker was huge.. there was no way I was gonna squish his guts all over my carpet.. so I herded him into a safeway basket that I had...... acquired during my time here and started running out of my room, down the hallway, and out side with this giant spider in the safeway basket.. as I get to the door outside.. the motherfucker jumps at me.. I swear. I just about filled my pants right there. I dropped the basket and ran away screaming like a two-year-old girl. Thankfully the basket fell and bounced outside.. so the thing landed outside and took off. I never got to kill it.. but damn.. I was just happy to see it go.

I'll never forget one day when my brother came down to visit me. It was his second day here.. and we're in a mate's car. He's in the driver's side backseat looking towards the top of his window/door with the largest eyes I've ever seen. It wasn't a huntsman, but it was pretty big for where we come from (About the size of a 50c piece). He freaked.. we had to pull over and let the driver flick it outta the car. He swears he's never coming back to Australia.

Anyways, huntsman suck.

spindles

Nah - I'm with Ella - they are good for killing mosquitoes and other small insects. The look freaky but aren't particularly poisonous (they "may" be able to kill a small child or household pet). They only freak people out because of their size.

Geez - Australia has so many poisonous creatures - maybe you guys need to work out exactly which ones you should be scared of

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Mephisto2

It's the Funnel Web spider you should be afraid of. Considerably smaller than the Huntsman and much, much more dangerous.


Mr Mephisto

almostaugust

I beg to differ on the danger factor. Yeah sure, the funnel web might be one of the most poisonous creatures on the planet, but the Huntsman is the most frightening motherfucker around. I bet it has caused a ton of traffic accidents (i know of at least one), and just the general amount of anguish is causes is way off the scale. Australia needs a St Francis (who got rid of all the snakes in Ireland) to get rid of all the freaking Huntsman. I reserve the right to do the truffle shuffle when i encounter one.

Meridae'n

That's funny. I've been in the passenger seat while a huntsman man a bee line for the driver, piss funny.

I did a lot of woodcutting with my old man when I was growing up, and in the bush those fuckers are everywhere. You can't go out cutting Box trees without having at least one of the fuckers crawl up your arm. The funny thing is they nearly always jump off when they get to the elbow. I'm dead scared of spiders, but to be honest, huntsmen don't really bother me anymore. If I was to be bitten, it would've happened by now. Put me within 5 metres of a White-tail though, and I'm a shivering bitch.

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ultra_agent9

I'm not a big fan of spiders but I can handle them if they are largely minding their own business and out of my sleeping area. But huntsman are quick bastards, and there is nothing worse than having a restless huntsman inside a small closed space like a car to freak the shit outa me. I'm ready to leap out of a moving car to avoid being near one.

And they fricken JUMP too! I'm more afraid of huntsmen than I am of redback spiders.

Goddamn long-legged hairy freaks!

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Mr_Wall

I work in a nursing home, anyways got a call from the top wing to hurry up there quickly... so I rush up there thinking someone was dying. Only to find a guy who's about 7foot tall and 125kgs huddled in the corner with the nurse with a broom in his hand hitting a yoghurt cup with a medium size huntsman.

Shit it was funny

slimshaydee

I once had one on my head when I was driving, scared the bejesus out of me. Had to pull over and pick it off with my hand (not a good feeling) and then I stomped that lil bugger about 50 times to make sure it was dead.

almostaugust

I. WOULD. HAVE. DIED.


Yeah, one day i was driving back from soccer with this girl who was really kinda aggressive and sexually intimidating... but thats another story, anyway this dirty big huntsman just runs accross the outside of the windscreen. She angrily stares at me for a second and then she, yep, turns on the windscreen wipers and kills it. I wasnt sure who to be more scared of at the time. She was such a pro.
A couple of nights later i was at this party spewing my guts up in the corner and she just comes up to me and starts trying to go for it right there. Spew was everywhere but she didnt care. Just the thought of her now makes my testicles retreat back into my body. What a woman.

alpha666

c'mon ..... poor bastards are just trying to get a feed!
if you have a few around the house you generally don't have many worries about roaches and stuff!
we have a few living around here (as well as some lizards and skinks) and we have no bug problems!
my girl friend however, hates the little suckers. we had one on our wall last night and she freaked! in a big way. then again .... she was really stoned!

Meridae'n

I just remembered another one. I was walking out the back gate of my old place in Wagga with my girlfriend at the time, when she said "Hey Bose, you've got a huge spider crawling up your back!"

Me: "Well knock it off woman!!!"

Ren: "I can't, I can't. Shit, it's heading towards your neck!"

When you hear someone describe a spiders intended path as 'It's heading towards your neck' it sparks a involuntary instinctive reaction that has absolutely no logic... I ripped my shirt over my head as quick as humanly possible and threw it on the ground, then watched this huge grey hairy spider slowly crawl out and into the bushes.

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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

Bongomanrae

Since I live near the bush I have a few encounters with bigger than average huntsmen every year but the best one I can think of atm is after I came home from the city late on night.

After getting out of my clothes I went to get a drink from the kitchen sink (all lights were off) and I thought that I stepped on a dry leaf/twig. Not being completely sober it took me a second to wonder what a dry leaf/twig would be doing in the house...

I step back and flick on the light and it turns out that I had stepped on a medium sized (a bit wider than my palm) huntsmen who is now scurrying across the floor.


I killed it an put it in the bin.

doc

I quite like the little buggers. They never get in the way, they eat other little bugs etc. As long as they stay out of my way i'll stay out of theirs. But you shouldn't kill them, somebody told me they eat redback spiders?

Madd

Normally they dont bother me that much, but this one time comming home piss drunk one scared me half to death.

I was walking up the steps piss drunk after a night out, we have one of those sensor lights but it wont turn on until your right up near the door. Im moving my hand forward to put my key in the keyhole when the light turns on. A MASSIVE huntsman is running across the door in the direction of my hand. I FREAK and fall backwards. After getting up and making sure no one had seen me fall on my ass I look at the door again. The huge spider has stopped right over the keyhole. Being a big sissy i decided to jump the side gate and go in the back

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