George Carlin

[slimshaydee]

man1: do you believe in GOD?
man2: no
(bang!, dead!)
man1: NEXT!
man1: do you believe in GOD?
man3: yes!
man1pauses)
man1: do you believe in MY GOD?
man3: no
(bang!, dead!)
man1: NEXT!

[Redlemon]

Emo Phillips said it better.

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

[uncle phil]

fuck, shit, cunt, piss, cocksucker, motherfucker, and TITS!!!

[thesupermikey]

Originally Posted by uncle phil

fuck, shit, cunt, piss, cocksucker, motherfucker, and TITS!!!

and tites doesn't even belong on the list!!

[Psycho Dad]

A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.

[uncle phil]

Originally Posted by thesupermikey

and tites doesn't even belong on the list!!

tites.....?