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My "center replacement stand" might need a new hinge.
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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! http://i.min.us/ibrzoC.jpg |
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. http://i.min.us/ib44W0.jpg |
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...07/2planes.jpg
---------- Post added at 12:03 AM ---------- Previous post was Yesterday at 11:59 PM ---------- http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...OLAR20BEAR.jpg or http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...n-s_design.png |
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When I shivered, he said, "That's too strong a reaction!"
I said, "I ain't got any." |
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget... ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? http://i.min.us/id65Ny.jpg |
Heh. I win again, uncle phil. I pee in the shower every time.
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i second that....^^^^^^
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ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do... ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do... ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo... http://i.min.us/ibFYGq.jpg |
that's gotta be uncomfortable.........
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Ah, but I'm not, because I'm the current winner.
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me too, two?
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Hmm, that didn't last long, unlike the wait for you to hide.
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I know...I'm not being inspired yet. I may just have to go with the obvious.
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One man's obvious...win!
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? http://i.min.us/id8BFo.jpg |
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ... http://i.min.us/idUkkW.jpg |
boobs look kinda neat under water eh?
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Eh?
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me? http://i.min.us/ib9zPW.jpg |
you guys still here?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid... http://i.min.us/ibxNJE.jpg |
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? http://i.min.us/ibBg3I.jpg |
For the sake of your honor, I'll take this win.
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess... http://i.min.us/icnaEe.jpg |
My nipples are prettier than hers, so I win.
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male... http://i.min.us/ienRk6.jpg |
We're a queer species, aren't we? I win.
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long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
today it's called golf... http://i.min.us/ibJWfS.jpg |
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the reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed...
http://i.min.us/ickyKy.jpg |
I wouldn't want to represent any one who would vote for me. I win.
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calories are the little bastards that get into your wardrobe at night and sew your clothes tighter...
http://i.min.us/idYYps.jpg |
What?! Who's letting out my seams?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess... http://i.min.us/icimKe.jpg |
They don't call me "the annoying naked guy" for nothing.
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^^^^^^ that was awesome OCM ^^^^^^^^^
hahahahhaah..........i feel the same pain man.........hahaahahha |
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. http://i.min.us/icb5jC.jpg |
You can't emale me anywhere on earth. I still win.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. http://i.min.us/ickSKE.jpg |
I defended your fixation, you know.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight... http://i.min.us/ijo5TW.jpg |
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