Reese

Things have changed and we're still following the same rules made years ago. So, Let's revise all the rules to fit todays world.

Original: Don't put your elbows on the Dinner table!
Revised: Don't put your penis on the Dinner table!

Original: Always open the door for a lady.
Revised: Open door for ladies only when the door is tricky(ie: you stick your finger in a dark hole to find the latch.)

Come on, let's hear some more updated etiquette...

Conclamo Ludus

Original: Say "excuse me" after you break wind.
Revised: Lift leg and smile.

Original: Place napkin on plate when finished with meal to signal the waiter that you are done eating.
Revised: Pull car up to drive up trash can. Deposit garbage.

Nice thread!

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Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold.
-Son House, Death Letter Blues

CSflim

[img]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TwDZAhUZfg0zqQ3FPfiNY8LE5Y018XrnuZb7XL1ZU6gt31eJazhG3cPZTHKnLNIshjPqN0Ojf6Trf19*x8NwE60Wnwe5dOCAyAcJNY1bj2BpBQto6w6VUA/placesetting1.gif?dc=4675451036675558156[/img]

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uncle phil

/me looks for the ash tray...

(j/k)

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.