Test your Valentine's Day eligibility

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(Apologies in advance for the length)

Section One (Women):
1. When on a date, I like to go:
A) to a quiet dinner, a movie, and then straight home (+5)
B) to Burger King, to a drive-in, then to his place for a few drinks (+10)
C) anywhere that no one can see or hear what we do (+15)

2. When I get into the car on a date, I sit:
A) across the seat, more or less melting into the door (-5)
B) next to my date (+10)
C) on my date's lap (+15)

3. When my date tries to put his arm around me, I:
A) firmly remove his arm and tell him that I'm not that kind of girl (-5)
B) move cautiously closer to him (+5)
C) consider this only the beginning of a long, fun-filled evening (+15)

4. When I kiss on a Valentine's date, I:
A) do not kiss on Valentine's dates (-5)
B) kiss goodnight at my door (no tongues) (+0)
C) consider this only the beginning of a long, fun-filled evening (+15)

5. If asked out for a second date after Valentine's, I:
A) blush, ask him to call me later, and call home to ask permission from my mom (-10)
B) consider his motives and accept if I find them within the realm of my morals (+10)
C) consider his performance and accept if he played three or more encores (+20)


Scoring for Women:

-20 TO 10 POINTS: Oh please. You couldn't get a date if you paid for one. You should consider interspecies dates as your only available option for romance.

15 TO 65 POINTS: You're interested in men but are either too shy or emotionally unstable. A Valentine's date for you is a
horror of hand-slapping and cautious drink-sipping.
Relax. It's just an innocent date. Trust me!

70 TO 105 POINTS: Yah! Love ya! You consider nylons and garter belts kinky but don't think twice about wearing black
leather, rubber clothing, or whipping your chained partner into submission. There's nothing I could teach you about dating that you don't already know. Hit me with your best shot!


Section Two (Men):

1. When on a date, I like to go:
A) to a quiet dinner, a PG movie, and have her home by 11 (-5)
B) out for a beer and then back to my place and pass out together (+5)
C) back to my place for erotic fun (+15)

2. When I pick her up, I:
A) remind her to fasten her seatbelt (-10)
B) make conversation by inquiring about her class schedule (+5)
C) remove the beer cans from under her feet and attack her while telling her how much I respect her (+15)

3. My dates usually say:
A) "Have you ever done this before?" (-10)
B) "Wake up, dammit! I'm not through yet!" (-5)
C) "Let's try one more time and make it an even dozen!" (+20)

4. When I kiss my Valentine's date, I:
A) don't try to kiss my date, I don't wish to compromise her integrity or give her the wrong impression of my motives (-10)
B) kiss her goodnight and tell her what a great time I had (even if I didn't) (+5)
C) seldom stop until I've reached her ankles (+15)

5. When I ask her for date following Valentine's, I:
A) respect her desire to contemplate our relationship and agree to call her after she has had an opportunity to consider her position and make a responsible decision (-5)
B) wonder what I'm going to get on the next date if she kissed on the first one (+5)
C) ask her during breakfast in bed (+15)


Scoring for Men:

-25 TO 10 POINTS: You're too old-fashioned for the women of the 80's. Sex is a mystery to you and you bore the hell out of
your mother. Do yourself and the world a favor: commit yourself to Depo-Provera treatments and become an accountant.

15 TO 65 POINTS: You enjoy women but havn't quite figured out what any woman could possibly see in you. Good point. It's
not hopeless, however, with a little work and effort, you too could soon be on your way to successful dating.

65 TO 100 POINTS: You're a man of the world who is well versed in the art of give and take. You know what a woman wants and
you're not afraid to give it to her. You lead a hard and arduous life trying to satisfy the many women around you. You'll make an excellent Valentine date for any mature woman.