Vulgar and Creative Insults
 

Here is where I would like to hear all of your best, most creative, and/or vulgar insults!

Anything you ever came up with or heard.

Also any insults you have heard that never quite made sense...maybe someone can shed light on them.


Such as, "cocksucking whore". My grandfather always said that, but i could never figure out why sucking cock made it a worse insult then just plain whore...

From a friend:

(insert explitive), you stupid sack of siberian sheep shit.

There was a classic rant on another board I used to go to, I'll see if I can find it. My toes curled reading it.

how about "gay fag"??

i always thought that was repetitive and really stupid to use those 2 words like that.

I once called someone a speck of unwashed c*nt cheese. Other insults I've used: crusty botch of nature, son of a whorish c*ntstack, as well as "ugly, dog-faced spawn of a boil-ridden anus" Um.. let's see.. what else.. I've told people to choke on cock and die, and probably lots of others I've forgotten. Oh yeah, I've also called people cock vultures. Some of those insults are originals, some of them are not.

edit: I also told someone that they have a dog's c*nt for a brain. I was on a huge c*nt kick that night, I guess. :P

i always liked the "waste of air/space"

once during a soccer game i said "i know your fathers your brother, and your mother is an imbred whore, but that doesnt mean you have to be so nasty!"

Intellectual lightweight
Shit for brains
Dickwad
Asswipe
Dumb fuck

Inbreeder!

You couldn't get laid at a cluster fuck.

15 minutes and $15,000 don't make you a biker.

You don't have the brains God gave a bag of dirt.

You're such a suck up I bet you could suck start a Harley.

I LOVE IT, im adding all of these to my arsenal! keep em coming!

"more texture to his face then a burlap sack!"

My favz:

- Lemmie get this straight - YOU were the quickest and smartest of all the dumb-ass sperm yer dad shot off?!?!

Cuntsmack
Dogfucker
MaggotShit

Now THAT one was funny! HAHAHA

If I could fuck myself I wouldn't need you.
Lick my crack

This is from my friend Al, in all seriousness, not trying to be funny or corny, yelling back at a carload of idiots that were drive by-heckling us:

YOUR MOTHER"S A DUM-DUM!

I still make fun of him for that to this day.

A friend once said this to a drunk girl at a party, "You've only got 3 brain cells left and they're all fighting for attention."

Hairy-nippled bitch
Ball-less bag of pus
Dick-hole
Rhino-clit

Fuck you. Fuck you to DEATH!

what?

I always say, and I quote:

"You fuckin gayfag"
"Fuck you behotch"
"fag"
"assfuck"
"dipshit"
"fuckin queer"
"fagfuck"
"biznatch"
"fucktard"

That's about the extent of my intelligence, I have nothing against homo's, I swear...
No really
I don't.

this one was in the old humour board.

"The smartest thing to ever come out of your mouth, is my cock"

Your breath is so bad that eating a shit sandwich would be an improvement.

I don't know if Guinness has a record for the longest time sucking a flaccid cock,honey!

Don't think of your leg's as tree trunks,think of them as anchors.

I'm more worried about falling asleep than cumming in your mouth.

Go ahead and eat another bucket of dirty bird.The extra 20 pounds won't even be a pimple on your ass.

Of course my dick tastes like shit.Do you think I just pulled it out of a jelly donut?








Be thankful I'm pulling your ears and not your hair.

I once called my ex-wife "Stupid sperm burping bitch"

The best part of you ran down your daddies leg.

You wanna play the dozens?
The dozens is the game!
But the way I fuck your mother
is a Goddamn shame!

If you want a proper insuly you need to go to yugoslavia:
I will have a horse with a bloody cock take your daughters virginity on your mothers grave.


Classy.

I loved that one and have added it to my repertoire. I save it for REALLY good occasions.

My usual one-word name for a stupid person however, is doorknob.

"I told him to be at work at 6AM but he forgot to set his clock ahead and he showed up an hour late, and in the wrong uniform. Fuckin' doorknob."

-Mikey

Your deodorant smells like french onion soup.What brand is it?

Your pit marks match nicely with your tie.

I've heard of deodorants that let you skip a day but where did you find one that let's you skip a week.

Ya your right,using deodorant soap is just like using deodorant.

I know the French don't believe in deodorant.Do you have hairy armpits too?

< insert name here> has about three brain cells and two of them are busy holding the asshole shut.

Wow, you're about as useful as tits on a nun.

Gee, your vagina must be killing you...
(to be used when a male agonizes too long on a decision)

I wouldn't fuck you with someone else's dick.

Eat the corn out of my shit.

In response to "Fuck You":

No thanks, your mom wore me out.


Names that do not require additional dialog:

Ball Grabbing Circus Monkey

Pud Pounding Shit Goblin


and one that cracks me up and I don't know why:

Slut Bag!

This comes off the olde board. There was a story to this last time, and I dont want to steal someone elses thunder, but it was a great insult:
Guy says in a crowd to his ex: "The smartest thing that ever came out of your mouth was my dick"

I have found using anything that relates to menstruation or vaginal cleanliness has been the most effective.

What? You got douche water for brains?

I bet your father's really sorry he didn't jerk off THAT night!

So, that's what it looks like when cousins marry.

sometimes when a freind of mine gets really on my nerves i call him a low class, stupid, trailer trash piece of shit.

drives him insane.

When someone does/says something stupid that irritates me:

"Shit, maybe you were conceived with a weak sperm or something, like your dad was jacking off and your mom sat on it at the last second."

Thank you, Bill Hicks.

Old 1-word standbys:

- Fucktard
- Assmonkey
- Asshat

I like this thread.

Your perjorative nature is a real inspiration.

Cognitively speaking,your ineptitude is very rewarding.

If I were as smart as you,I'd be speechless.

For someone so predisposed to ignorance,you really give good advice.

For someone who knows everything,is it hard to understand what you don't?

Cum guzzling closet faggot.
Sperm burping cum dumpster.
Load swallowing gutter slut.

That's all for now.

If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards

My fav has always been, "lick my ass."

And if they are freaky... I might get a rim job out of it.

From a song, any disturbed people know it. Stupid sadistic abussive fucking whore

I'll have to remember that one. :)

I like to call people Subtarded Fucksticks...I heard a friend say it once and it's stuck with me ever since.

clitbiter is popular with me
so is beerslut, and occaionally i'll lace out an fucknut or two.
When I'm around friends, racial and ethnic slurs form a small part of my vocab too

i wouldn't call that repetitive. since gay is fag's adjective. so calling someone a gay fag would be describing a fag as gay. and if a fag is gay, doesn't that make him straight?

No,that makes him happy...

and the arsenal grows...thanks guys!

Fucktard is funny, haven't had a chance to use it 'cause the first I'd ever heard of it was about 3 months ago and I'm a hellava nice guy.

To a large person standing between me and the television: "You make a better Alp than a window".

And the old favorite (which seems to cut pretty deep sometimes):
"Nobody even likes you. We just put up with you because we feel sorry for you".

Oh, yeah, and the expression "Fuckin' fuckers fuckin' fuckitty fuck".

I shit on your mother!

I don't know why, but I like that one. I've also found there are quite a few good ones in spanish.

"Things they don't teach you in spanish class..."
Chingas tu madre - Fuck your mom
Mierda - Shit
Chupa me, puto - Suck me, asshole!
chupe me verga /
chupa me la peha - suck my dick
puta - (feminine) whore, bitch
puto - (masculine) dickhead, asshole
joto - faggot (mex.)
pendejo/pendeja - (m/f) asshole, dickhead, etc.
Marricon - faggot
Mariposa (Mex.) - faggot (lit. butterfly)
chingar - to fuck
cagar - to shit
coger - to fuck, (lit. to catch)
mamar - to suck
mama huevo - suck genitalia
verga - dick (lit. broomstick)
pinche - fucking (sp?)
chorizo - dick (lit. sausage)
panocha - pussy (extremely vulgar)
culo - ass
huevos - testicles (lit. eggs)
chichis - breasts
pendeja, pendejo - (Lit. pubic hair)
me cago en la hostia - i shit in the communion wafers
Cago en tu leche - I shit in your milk.
beso mi culo - kiss my ass
hacete cojer - go and get fucked
hijo de mil putas - son of thousand bitches
metete un palo en
el culo - shove a stick up your ass
chimba - pussy (colombian spanish)
Pinche Caborron - fucking son of a bitch
Chilito - (lit.) little dick
juele a mierda - you smell like shit

Aren't they just beautiful? ;)

Paul: My old apartment! For *three* years I rent apartment from you. Only two days ago I move out and already apartment filled?

David: Please Unwar, I explain.

Paul: Bull! How you explain? [spits] I spit on your explanation!

David: I spit on your spit!

Paul: I piss on your spit!

David: I shit on your piss!

Paul: I fart on your shit!

David: I laugh at your fart!

[Both look at each other in a moment of common realization.]

Paul: We are friends again. [laughs]

http://www.unoriginal.com/mrshow/3_6.html



Man, I miss Mr. Show....

shitstain
shitcycle
shitsock
shitcake

"Mother-fucking bastard son of a lice ridden $2 whore"
Ive Actually used that one, 80)

Unwar. I like that word.

You folks are far too creative to me. I almost always revert to my old standby - "fat pig". This is easy to remember, applies to the majority of Americans (who are over their 'ideal' weight) - myself included technically, and is something that many will take home with them and think - "gee, am I really that overweight."

I only say this when someone has done something truly stupid and is deserving. Used mostly in the car - works well b/c it is readily 'lip readable.'

I would not give him/her the air out of my arse to cool their coffee.

I wouldn't piss on him/her if they were on fire.

A variation:

You are about a useful as balls on a priest

How about your so fuckin' dumb somebody oughta' ding your eye out and skull fuck ya' to death.

I've met women with more testicular fortitude than you.

fuck the fuckin' fuckers......................blaaaaaaaaahhhhhh

Your as useful as anal warts on a fag.

Now I know what the son of two aids infested crackheads looks like.

May your grandmother die while getting gang-banged by the varsity team.

You are so worthless that even if you were freezing to death, I wouldn't give you the steam off my diarrhea.

Even if you were starving to death, I wouldn't give you the chunks of my vomit.



These are pretty low.
Glad

I still think the best thing to call someone is:

AssClown

But my favorite insults are:

You look like your face caught fire and someone put it out with a fire axe.

Man, get the sand out of your Vagina already

Not terribly vulgar, but I like calling idiots "Mouth breathers"

I like to use the word 'fucksteak' a lot.

"Man ... that dude is such a fucksteak..."

Also ... sacks ... as in :

"Man, you are a fat sack of stupid, aren't you?"

Dickknob

He or she has the personality of a dial tone.
As interesting as a soap dish.

"You sick, twisted parody of a human being"
Used that after a woman drove right through a bunch of kids at 30 mph, while I was watching. We're talking 3 ft. from hitting some of them...

In responce to

"Tough Shit!!"

"Chew Harder!!"

If I spooge in your ear, will you hear me coming?"

An older guy I knew in the Navy used to aks newbies if they wanted to "bump dicks". I don't know if it qualifies as an insult but it sure made them give him a wide berth.

Didn't cartmann call one of the other guys on south park a "Testicle-Shitting-Rectal-Wart" ?

Ok mine probably seem tame but I've used them since I was a kid.

Your mind is like steel trap, rusted shut.

and

Your a few fries short of a happy meal.

An old one from me, You God damn, mother fucking spoon fed son of a whore with a hymen implant.

How about...

'Looks like somebody hit that girl with a hot bag of nickels.'

one of the more original insults ive ever seen was 'cunt faced gremlin' refferring to scooter kids on a skating msg board

He's a parody unto himself.

Eat the corn out of my shit.

I wouldn't piss in your mouth if your guts were on fire.

He's gotta soak his socks in terpentine to keep the ants from crawling up to his candy ass.

That chick fell out of the ugly tree, hit every ugly branch on the way down, landed on the ugly tracks and got hit by the ugly train!

You're so dumb, you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with directions on the heel.

If you think you are so goddamn good at everything, try separating fly shit from ground pepper with boxing gloves on.

[hand someone a note with this written on it]
You're so fucking brain dead that I'll bet you're mouthing the words of this note as you read it.

What band sang this song? It was called headache, it may have been Offspring but it's--

You stupid dumbshit goddamned mother fucker!!

What band sang this song? It was called headache, it may have been Offspring but it's--

You stupid dumbshit goddamned mother fucker!!

Sorry, my browser froze up then asked me to refresh and I accidentally reposted the same post.

On South Park, Cartman once asked Kyle, "Aw, what's the matter? Got sand in your vagina?" That's one of me and my brother's faves, so sometimes we adapt it for our own use and ask, "You growin' a pearl?"

ahhh,why don't you eat my ass with a spoon.

you're so ugly i'd rather watch a cat walk away with it's tail in the air.

good clean fun eh?

Because of Cartman my fav will always be "You goddamn Jew!":D