| uncle phil |
06-30-2011 02:52 AM |
shit...
(For Future Reference When Personal Qualifications Are Disputed:
Who is Jack Schitt?
The lineage revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt.” Now you can handle the situation.
Jack is the only son of O. Schitt and Awe Schitt. O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, the owner of Knee-Deep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Against her parents objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
Always the most intelligent and disciplined of the children, Holie Schitt developed a fondness for computer nerds and intellectual geeks, championing their many causes and earning her the much deserved moniker, Schitt for Brains.
Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspapers announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt,” you can correct them.)
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