Giant Hamburger

I am fighting this war for all of us.

Your women, they are in danger.

The prophecy spoke of a giant hamburger that would come down from the sky and end this conflict to restore order to the galaxy.

This rodent breast fondling must stop!

BadNick

dem dirty rats better leave our wimin alone.

"Come out and take it, you dirty, yellow-bellied rat, or I'll give it to you through the door!"

Oh please oh Holy Giant Hamburger, save us from this doom!

Fly

bastards................

bastards i say.........

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

ring

I shall wear their tails dangling from my earlobes as cat toys.

Tophat665

I don't know, ring. The rat tail as a fashion statement is very 1986 trailer.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

BadNick

Giant Hamburger's efforts seem "timely" ...maybe the rats are preparing for a party?

(year begins on 2/07/2008)
Chinese New Year

By the Chinese Calendar
2008 is the Year of the Rat,
which is also known by its former name of Wu Zhi


....makes me woozie just thinking about these critters ...our wimin!

ring

as in 'trash' trailer,Tophat?...hmmm...you are on my list now...
unless I have brain farted your meaning...which I do all too frequently
I'm afeered.
Chinese new year always falls close to my birthday...hint hint..
Maybe Giant Hamburger can let us know what form of gatekeeper
awaits the departed souls of the vanquished vermin?

Tophat665

I make no judgment on the quality of the people merely in stating their preferred demesne. They do put the rust in rustic, though.

A pair of rat tails, suitably lacquered would make a stylish Fu-Manchu style false moustache, though, which is an accessory often overlooked by the modern woman.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

BadNick

Feb. 11 ...and from a good year for Cadillac Eldorados and Chevy Impalas, hopefully this will be a BAD! year for rats. Go GH!

Giant Hamburger

Hail Allies!

My harvest of death has so far yielded 14 succulent rats.

Their nocturnal movements, now more covert, may enable them to cheat death for a moment but it is only a matter of time before the bait becomes too delicious. I will eventually smash all of their spines.

My war has many fronts including propaganda

I will crush the rodent spirit.

They are buried in plastic grocery bags which delays their inexorable ascent to rat heaven for hundreds of years as the bag slowly photodegrades.

I make sure they know this.

uncle phil

"here, ben...here, ben..."

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ring

Ok...I had ta..take aim..don't blame ya..

uncle phil

ring, you are one sick puppy...almost as sick as me...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ring

gag me with a Ginzu...soon...somebody has to.

Giant Hamburger...is he organic perhaps?...ya think?

I need to see the menu he orders from.......

Tophat665

GH always orders from the braille menu and makes subtle alterations with a toothpick.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

HamiC

Was the opossum just pretending?

Tophat665

I thought that was the Journeyman.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Charlatan

I am afraid that GH's days are numbered. The rats are upgrading.

Resistance is futile.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Charlatan

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

BadNick

I won't post the you tube vid here in case there are some latent rodentofiles in here, but I was thinking about those pacman frogs that eat rats ...just a suggestion, GH. And when they're done with the job, I suspect they taste better than rats.

Charlatan

GH... just tell the ladies of your house that what you need is more snakes!

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

ring

Is GH MIA?

I imagine he is simply busy marinating and skewering the proceeds,
from his harvest.

Charlatan

I think GH has met his match...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Fly

fuckin' eh Charlie......some good stuff there.....nicely done.



how goes the battle GH?


pics?..............gory ones.

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Charlatan

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Fly

probably a good idea GH.........


the ending says it all man.

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

ring

Okay....GH...

I don't wanna see your mug on my milk carton anytime soon...
throw us a bone will ya?

The urge to BEG is strong....

hmmm..that sounds kinda like I just gave away a secret...

Giant Hamburger

Hail Citizen Ring, et al.

You are sweet to inquire about me.
I fall off the face of the earth from time to time.
Yet, I still cheat death, as do the rats.
In time, when I am restored to full power the rats will feel my presence.

So shall you all!

Charlatan

I fear that GH will never regain his full power...

Sadly, since his manhood migrated to a jar in his backyard, he has never been the same.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

BadNick

GH,
I've not given up hope. During a recent lunch & learn, I did learn something I will share with you. It might be of some assistance in this grave matter. Since a picture is worth a thousand words and I can't type that fast, see below. Bon appetite:

Esoteric

Oh my fuck that looks terrible...

I could go for a giant burger right now though.

__________________
From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch
Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck
I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change
Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins

BadNick

Eso,
you know what they say? Don't knock it til you try it. ...count me out, too.

Charlatan

This just in!

The Attic rats are party animals..

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Charlatan

Perhaps there is some profit to be made exporting your herd to Togo...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Ourcrazymodern?

The rats are taken care of;
their offspring die without them with them.
Did you use poison, perhaps?

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Charlatan

ART is an anagram of RAT!

What is GH trying to tell us.

A Nightmare Grub is an anagram for Giant Hamburger.

The enigma (or Grab Enigma Hurt) is truly inscrutable.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Punk.of.Ages

If you have some extra money, maybe you could enlist the help of the Togo rat hunters GH.

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Charlatan

Recognizing that if things continue as they are, it will all be bad, the rats have hired PR firm Hill and Knowlton to give their image a makeover.

Kids love cartoons... so why not?

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Giant Hamburger

Hail Citizens!

I tried to ignore the rats just as they ignored my traps.
For weeks I dutifully checked all ten in various parts of the attic and found no new victims. It grew tiresome.

So I stopped checking these last two months.
Today I returned to the attic.

8 of the 10 traps had rats.

That is half of my harvest of desiccated death.

The temperature in the attic easily exceeds 100 degrees everday.

Its skin was like parchment.

I must teach this new generation of rats a lesson.

blahblah454

You would think seeing a fried member of the family would be deterrent... guess not though.