THANK YOU FOR SUCKING MY ASS - After I turned down his speil about free comedy club tickets

Great thread revival.

Drunken moments are great..

I don't remember this.. but it was told to me the next day and everyday since it happened.

I had my 21st.. it was fair to say I was quite trashed.. then my dad showed up to surprise me (see.. I'm in Australia.. he lives in the States).. that was awesome.. so I celebrated w/ more tequila slammers.. it's about midnight and a couple mates are putting me to bed... apparently they have me in bed.. doona over me.. ready to flick out the light.. my best mate is leaning over me.. I sit up.. look him straight in the eyes.. and in a moment of clarity say "Holy Shit! My Dad's My Father!".. then right to sleep. Don't know if I'll ever live that down.

Well, I have another addition thanks to a bizarre happening yesterday. I was in the mall (I forget exactly why) with a few friends and my fiancee and she sees this strange pink throw rug in a store. She says "Who the hell would buy something like that?" and my friend responds "People who take a fancy to inside-out bubblegum Snuffalufuguses."

The strange thing is, it seemed to almost make sense at the time.

I was at the hospital one day, and a guy just started yelling "Don't leave it at the hatchet, Joe".
I have no idea what it meant, but now I say it all the time.

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

Dan Rather! Haha!

I say alot of weird and random shit, as do almost everyone I know, and it is real hard to try to say what is the funniest, but I do remember one day where I was conversing with a few people and this friend of mine just randomally walked up and said 'Sizzler?' Pretty weird.

Well, let's put it this way. I have a 4 yr. old son with a rambling mind and thoughts coming out like crazy.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

This is the best post ever.

I bet someone registered that nick just for this post.

My friend and I used to enjoy responding to questions with random answers if that counts. It was really fun to see/hear the reactions.

For example, they would ask, "what time is it?" and we'd look up at the sky and say "doesn't look like rain to me!"

Or..

Do you know where the restroom is?
Yes it's quarter to 6.

People would just look at you like...what? lmao

lol, edwhit, i'm going to try that tomorrow.

Back when I was about 8 or so I knew someone who was an asshole, but he was the only other kid my age in the neighborhood so I put up with it so I'd have someone to play with.

One time I decided to try and drive him crazy by doing things like occasionally saying nonsensical phrases when his back was turned. He came from a very dysfunctional family so I'd take that into account by saying stuff like "mommy didn't, daddy do" (wow I just remembered that part..god damn was I ever evil!!). Then when he'd ask what I said I'd look dumbfounded, pretend I never said a word, and carry on as usual.

I don't know how if it worked or not but it sure confused the hell out of him. :D

When I'm just about to fall asleep I have this tendency to just blurt out random things. It's like my mind is already dreaming, but I'm awake enough to comment about said dream. So anyway, my husband and I are laying there in bed and I blurt out, "Yes, honey, you have a big cock!" I mean, we weren't even talking to each other and this is what popped out. He loves to remind me of that.

bumpidy...

I had corneal surgery two summers ago. I had to be awake during it. Yes, they pumped me full of valium, numbed my eye, locked my eye opened and then used a scalpel to scrape away my cornea, the parts that needed removed anyway. Since I was awake, I "watched" from the "inside". It was amazing...

I guess, during this, I decided to recite the Jabberwocky poem from Alice in Wonderland

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves: Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,: And the mome raths outgrabe...

the interesting thing is I dont know the poem..I cant recite it awake. And its a long poem ..I had them laughing. I dont remember this at all...

I met US Army General David Patreus. His advice?

"Don't let the groundhog get on your buddy's back."

I'm still perplexed by this statement almost a decade later.

"If you cut me any slack I'll fucking kill you!" - ring

do as i say; not as i do...

Do as I do, not as I say:

Enormity arises from its shrinking...If I said that to myself, does it count?