Mom always liked you better.............

dick...

dufferpotamus.....


http://www.twokittensgifts.com/image...tail/hippo.jpg

Does this mean we can have a relationship?

"Well, I need to get out of here - you can just turn into a couch"

I see your face when I am dreaming,
that's why I always wake up screaming...

EABOD(|S) - Eat a [bag|box|bowl] of [dicks|dirt|shit]

---------- Post added at 09:46 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:08 AM ----------

Yo mama so....
... fat Weightwatchers has to watch her in shifts
... ugly that when she was born the doctor slapped her
... fat she fell in love and broke it
... fat that, when she lay on the beach, Greenpeace keep trying to throw her back in the water.
... fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
... fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
... ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
... ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
... ugly she make onions cry
... ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her.
... ugly that when she sit on the beach, cats try to bury her.
... stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
... stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
... stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

(And some for geeks and nerds...)

... fat that the probability that she is in an arbitrary point in a room is 1.
... fat, the recursive function to calculate her mass cause a stack overflow.
... fat that the integral for the area under her curves is a divergent series.
... fat that she thee twinkies short of developing an event horizon.
... slutty that even the noble gasses have attached themselves to her.
... ugly that even Mario throw barrels at her.
... fat, she need two long integer variables to store her weight, so she don't overflow the buffer.
... fat that the project plan to get her to lose weight has a work breakdown structure that take two reams of paper to print out.
... lazy, even when she is in motion she tends not to stay in motion.
... fat State Farm sold her Group insurance
... stupid, her exchange particle is a "moron"

You realize none of those are insults?

Here's one: They would be if you had a mother.

"I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind..." -M.P.&T.H.G.

Something I sometimes yell when a guy in a Camaro/Mustang/Low Rider peels out into traffic: "Sorry about your PENIS!"

Wonder how many angels could dance on His head.

Hmm, I'm sure that makes you sad. Here's a dime. Go call all your friends and tell them about it.

Do you have to be so open?

Even Nickelback thinks you suck.

I used to feel sorry for myself.

Zing. Very nice.

I'd call you a cunt, but you lack the depth and warmth.

"take your testicles out of your purse and stop being such a wankpot"

...you REMEMBER last night?

Yes, but not fondly.

---------- Post added at 06:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:10 PM ----------

There's a word for women like you, but it's not used often.
Outside of a kennel.