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-   -   the great insult thread (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-fun-zone/120017-great-insult-thread.html)

shakran 05-09-2009 11:43 AM

"Why don't you move to Iowa and increase the average IQ of both states?"

uncle phil 05-09-2009 11:56 AM

fuck you you fucking fuck...

cdwonderful 05-09-2009 12:04 PM

so's your old man.....

Ourcrazymodern? 05-12-2009 04:54 AM

That went in one ear and out the other.

uncle phil 04-29-2010 12:56 PM

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Ourcrazymodern? 04-29-2010 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ourcrazymodern? (Post 2635036)
That went in one ear and out the other.


LordEden 04-29-2010 05:25 PM

Ohhh ho ho, you old fuckers are going to get it now. Hold on to your depends and pop an extra heart pill. IT'S FUCKING GO TIME!

Ourcrazymodern? 04-30-2010 11:50 AM

I forgot she was your mother.

uncle phil 05-17-2010 03:34 AM

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Ourcrazymodern? 05-17-2010 01:29 PM

I must admit I kind of chuckled when LordEden made his threat.

uncle phil 05-19-2010 03:25 AM

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Ourcrazymodern? 05-19-2010 02:16 PM

That's only a little fucked-up, unc.

uncle phil 05-23-2010 09:00 AM

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Ourcrazymodern? 05-23-2010 09:17 AM

& that pleases me.

cdwonderful 05-23-2010 07:45 PM

I swear you could sell a rusty cock ring to a butch lesbian......

uncle phil 05-25-2010 07:08 AM

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cdwonderful 05-25-2010 08:08 AM

are those DNA markers on your avatar, phil?

uncle phil 05-25-2010 08:14 AM

no, it's a VSR...

cdwonderful 05-25-2010 08:16 AM

you should get a dvd, nobody makes tapes anymore......

Ourcrazymodern? 05-25-2010 10:03 AM

I don't think you could insult me even if we didn't share our birthday.

cdwonderful 05-25-2010 10:29 AM

Mom always liked you better.............

uncle phil 05-25-2010 10:52 AM

dick...

cdwonderful 05-25-2010 02:20 PM

dufferpotamus.....


http://www.twokittensgifts.com/image...tail/hippo.jpg

Ourcrazymodern? 06-01-2010 03:15 PM

Does this mean we can have a relationship?

uncle phil 06-02-2010 02:30 AM

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Ourcrazymodern? 06-02-2010 07:41 AM

"Well, I need to get out of here - you can just turn into a couch"

uncle phil 06-04-2010 02:26 AM

I see your face when I am dreaming,
that's why I always wake up screaming...

uncle phil 06-07-2010 02:26 AM

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uncle phil 06-09-2010 02:31 AM

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Tophat665 06-09-2010 05:46 AM

EABOD(|S) - Eat a [bag|box|bowl] of [dicks|dirt|shit]

---------- Post added at 09:46 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:08 AM ----------

Yo mama so....
... fat Weightwatchers has to watch her in shifts
... ugly that when she was born the doctor slapped her
... fat she fell in love and broke it
... fat that, when she lay on the beach, Greenpeace keep trying to throw her back in the water.
... fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
... fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
... ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
... ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
... ugly she make onions cry
... ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her.
... ugly that when she sit on the beach, cats try to bury her.
... stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
... stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
... stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

(And some for geeks and nerds...)

... fat that the probability that she is in an arbitrary point in a room is 1.
... fat, the recursive function to calculate her mass cause a stack overflow.
... fat that the integral for the area under her curves is a divergent series.
... fat that she thee twinkies short of developing an event horizon.
... slutty that even the noble gasses have attached themselves to her.
... ugly that even Mario throw barrels at her.
... fat, she need two long integer variables to store her weight, so she don't overflow the buffer.
... fat that the project plan to get her to lose weight has a work breakdown structure that take two reams of paper to print out.
... lazy, even when she is in motion she tends not to stay in motion.
... fat State Farm sold her Group insurance
... stupid, her exchange particle is a "moron"

Ourcrazymodern? 06-09-2010 10:48 AM

You realize none of those are insults?

Tophat665 06-09-2010 11:20 AM

Here's one: They would be if you had a mother.

uncle phil 06-11-2010 02:44 AM

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Ourcrazymodern? 06-12-2010 04:43 PM

"I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind..." -M.P.&T.H.G.

uncle phil 06-16-2010 03:11 AM

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Tophat665 06-16-2010 05:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uncle phil (Post 2798846)

Something I sometimes yell when a guy in a Camaro/Mustang/Low Rider peels out into traffic: "Sorry about your PENIS!"

uncle phil 06-18-2010 02:31 AM

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uncle phil 06-20-2010 04:25 AM

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uncle phil 06-22-2010 02:42 AM

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uncle phil 06-24-2010 02:35 AM

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Tophat665 06-24-2010 05:12 AM

Wonder how many angels could dance on His head.

uncle phil 06-25-2010 02:39 AM

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Tophat665 06-25-2010 01:51 PM

Hmm, I'm sure that makes you sad. Here's a dime. Go call all your friends and tell them about it.

uncle phil 06-26-2010 02:38 AM

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Ourcrazymodern? 06-26-2010 07:56 AM

Do you have to be so open?

uncle phil 06-27-2010 04:20 AM

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Tophat665 06-28-2010 05:02 AM

Even Nickelback thinks you suck.

Ourcrazymodern? 06-28-2010 12:12 PM

I used to feel sorry for myself.

uncle phil 06-29-2010 02:43 AM

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Tophat665 06-29-2010 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ourcrazymodern? (Post 2801942)
I used to feel sorry for myself.

Zing. Very nice.

uncle phil 06-30-2010 02:46 AM

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telekinetic 07-01-2010 07:40 AM

I'd call you a cunt, but you lack the depth and warmth.

uncle phil 07-02-2010 02:46 AM

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uncle phil 07-04-2010 02:29 AM

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eVaderum 07-04-2010 02:57 AM

"take your testicles out of your purse and stop being such a wankpot"

uncle phil 07-05-2010 02:33 AM

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uncle phil 07-08-2010 02:47 AM

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uncle phil 07-10-2010 03:18 AM

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Ourcrazymodern? 07-10-2010 12:58 PM

...you REMEMBER last night?

Tophat665 07-10-2010 02:11 PM

Yes, but not fondly.

---------- Post added at 06:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:10 PM ----------

There's a word for women like you, but it's not used often.
Outside of a kennel.

uncle phil 07-11-2010 02:39 AM

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uncle phil 07-13-2010 03:05 AM

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uncle phil 07-15-2010 02:48 AM

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Tophat665 07-15-2010 05:54 AM

Insult, nothin', Phil. That is far and away my favorite beer. I have two of the T-Shirts, and when I wear them, people just smile and nod.

It's not actually arrogance if you really are better than everyone else.

</Comment-OT>

You seem to be suffering from delusions of adequacy. Either that or your circle of Willis is clotted with fecaliths.

uncle phil 07-16-2010 03:39 AM

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Redlemon 07-16-2010 10:13 AM

Got 10 minutes? Sit back and smile...


Baraka_Guru 07-16-2010 10:40 AM


Ourcrazymodern? 07-16-2010 02:25 PM

It seems no wonder no one knows an insult after you.

PRESS ENTER █

uncle phil 07-17-2010 02:31 AM

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uncle phil 07-19-2010 02:41 AM

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uncle phil 07-21-2010 02:31 AM

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Tophat665 07-22-2010 08:54 AM

What a delightful ponytail! I love how it hides the valve stem.

Oh, you're from Texas? That explains everything.

Look, I know I have less than half your asking price in my wallet, but I have twice your worth in my pocket.

uncle phil 07-23-2010 02:31 AM

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uncle phil 07-25-2010 04:58 AM

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Tophat665 07-26-2010 05:30 AM

Damn, you would have to work pretty hard to rise as high as snake shit.

uncle phil 07-27-2010 03:12 AM

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uncle phil 07-29-2010 03:05 AM

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Tophat665 07-30-2010 07:39 AM

I may be drunk, but you are ugly, and tomorrow, I shall be sober.

uncle phil 07-31-2010 03:42 AM

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uncle phil 08-02-2010 03:00 AM

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uncle phil 08-04-2010 02:54 AM

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Ourcrazymodern? 08-05-2010 03:35 PM

You're still claiming it's only gravity that makes you a bottom?

uncle phil 08-06-2010 03:02 AM

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Tophat665 08-06-2010 07:41 AM

Jesus Haploid Christ! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. What, was Walmart having a sale on stupid?

uncle phil 08-07-2010 03:58 AM

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uncle phil 08-09-2010 02:59 AM

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uncle phil 08-11-2010 03:30 AM

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Ourcrazymodern? 08-14-2010 07:32 AM

Whatever...I'm almost as gay as you are.

uncle phil 08-17-2010 03:06 AM

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uncle phil 08-19-2010 02:34 AM

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Sion 08-19-2010 02:48 AM

oh yeah? well so's yer mother...

uncle phil 08-20-2010 03:52 AM

wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips...

uncle phil 08-22-2010 02:05 AM

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uncle phil 08-24-2010 02:20 AM

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...

like a coma...

Tully Mars 08-24-2010 02:21 AM

It's funny because you don't look that ugly but that dress makes you look really ugly.

uncle phil 08-25-2010 02:06 AM

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Tophat665 08-25-2010 07:08 AM

I'd call you a cunt, but some people like cunts

Ourcrazymodern? 08-25-2010 03:01 PM

Next time you come over you should bring a friend.

uncle phil 08-26-2010 02:54 AM

I've caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, "good morning you ugly prick?" It's not yours is it?

Ourcrazymodern? 08-27-2010 07:00 PM

Yes


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