Ourcrazymodern?

(LMAO) He had so much going on that it still is and is bound to continue...
I'm kind of glad that he liked pickles, too.

While that was hilarious, threadwise, does it address why pickles are funny?

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

vermin

Vlasic submarine slammed two gerkhins into our side, chief. It was comin' back, from the island of Oversized Picnic Foods, just delivered the mustard. The Hiroshima mustard. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first pickle for about a half an hour. Dill. Thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the stem to the other end. Well, we didn't know. `Cause our mustard mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The pickles come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like `ol squares in battle like you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the pickle would go for nearest man and then he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the pickle would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that pickle, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a pickle, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.
Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men! I don't know how many pickles, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, Onion's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ketchupa saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PB&J comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on mayo again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the pickles took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the mustard.

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

noodle

I love pickles. They always make me laugh. But only the dill ones in all forms. Sweet pickles are enough to make my face turn inside out. Except the Sweet Pickles book series. Did anyone else have those as a kid? Nasty Nightengale and X-Rating Xerus were my favorites.


I used to have to have a pickle after dessert when I was a kid because I couldn't stand having the sweet taste left in my mouth.
My family always laughed and hid the pickle jar from me.
That was not nice.

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Ourcrazymodern?

This is over the top. I couldn't stop laughing.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Atropos4

hahaha I almost posted that dancing pickle the other day but decided against it.. I crack up so much when I watch it.

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Charlatan

fredweena! Your family hid the pickle jar from you?

that's just not nice at all. the humour of pickles was meant to be shared.

i trust you had them liquidated for their insolence.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Jetée

Who better to execute the dirty deed than:

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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

Charlatan

Life was sweet for Pickleman. He seemed to relish his life as a harbinger of justice. That was until he met Dill. Getting mixed up in her embrace turned his whole life sour.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Ourcrazymodern?

Chit, Charla, dill's a wonderful herb. I can't believe you even thought that.
Most pickles are only funny because of the dill they've absorbed.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Jetée

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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

Charlatan

Just a reminder to fear the pickle... it is after your manhood.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Tophat665

Pickles are funny because they are neither raw nor cooked. Honest to god, that's what it is. Being neither, they are liminal, and liminal substances are either funny (Pickles, Playdough, sexual secretions) or revolting (vomit, feces, Balut) or both (mud, farts).

Now stick that in your Levi-Strauss and smoke it.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Charlatan

mmm liminal goodness... now you can have it both ways.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Charlatan

Perhaps Giant Hamburgers issue with rats has started to leak into other threads...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

jewels

Careful, my friends.

\

Some girls really love their pickles.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

BadNick

yeah yeah ...size matters



And I know this is not the "complaint thread" but I'm disappointed that all this talk of pickles is focusing on the cucumber and ignoring the vast variety of other very fine tasting pickled delicacies. So now I'm going out to have some pickled meat, pickled eggs, and other pickled vegetables.

Charlatan

For me it is the pickling of the humble cucumber that bring out the humour. But the fact is, you can pickle just about anything as long as you have the right spices...



But as you can see, the spices themselves have no humour. They are just dry ingredients.

To be truly humourous you must add water to make a salty brine...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Tophat665

Brine is the little known fifth humor.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Charlatan

I've got a fifth of good humour right here...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

BadNick

I've been pickled a few times on very good Scotch.

Ourcrazymodern?

Pickles are funny because they feel good.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

BadNick

I would like to feel a pickle ...or have some pickle juice

jewels

How would you like to feel that pickle, BN? Tell us more about this fixation.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Charlatan

Bring on the sweet mixed!

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

BadNick

close your eyes, run your fingers over that hard long green vegetable (I don't like soft pickles usually, unless they are chopped up and on a hotdog), feel the texture, taste it, the sour tanginess ...or if you prefer sweet pickles, that tangy sweetness; bite it, hear and feel the crisp break of the skin and the sudden penetration of your teeth into the meat of the matter, pickle that is; don't swallow it right away, chew it and roll it around in your mouth to enjoy every last bit of savory flavor and texture. How's that, jewels?

jewels

Mmmmmmmm yummmy!

Dill or half-sour for me, please ...

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Ourcrazymodern?

Yeah, where is she?

Maybe someone should tell her that there are pickles here. And collages. And something else in French that means "joy in living"

Maybe I'm talking out of my ass.

Perhaps this is why pickles are funny...

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Tophat665

Joie d' Viniagre?

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

jewels

Good stuff I always get compliments on my perfume.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

ring

Your smilie looks like it's grasping a rather pale pickle.

uncle phil

this is one powerful pickle fork...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Charlatan

You know you need a powerful fork when you have a giant pickle...



I wonder if Giant Hamburger knows this giant pickle? I wonder if he knows the beauty holding the pickle?

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Fly

mixedmedia.....É


she is pretty sweet..........



(damn,why doesn`t my Q mark work any moreÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ............what the fuck is thatÉÉÉÉÉ)

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

grumpyolddude

Fly, you got a quebecian keyboard????
Whip it with your pickle

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"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

Charlatan

Fly! Indeed mixed is sweet...

As for your question mark... stop smoking cucumbers and start pickling them instead.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

paddyjoe

fly may be too pickled for that.........

jewels

And some peeps are deathly afraid of pickles, sober:

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

SSJTWIZTA

jewels, i think ive posted that in the past.

its strange.

her freaking out freaks me out. it makes no sense!

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Charlatan

Some are a feared of the pickle but in the end... it's all comedy.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Ourcrazymodern?

Did anybody decide why pickles are funny, yet?

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT