Pussy-related Q - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Kid A · 06-07-2003, 10:20 AM

If buttered bread always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, can you tie a piece of buttered bread to a cat's back and have it rotate a few inches above the floor indefinitely?

debaser · 06-07-2003, 11:07 AM

Yes.

This was hypothesised in the early 80's, and came to be known as the BCA (Buttered Cat Array). The Japanese briefly experimented with it as a means to power their high speed train systems, but found it to be unfeasable. Apparently there was wide spread looting of the BCA components by local restaurant owners.

Mmmmm.... Buttered cat.

BoCo · 06-07-2003, 11:50 AM

Best. Answer. Ever.

BBtB · 06-07-2003, 01:13 PM

Lets.All.Talk.Like.This.From.Now.On

debaser · 06-07-2003, 01:23 PM

sadistikdreams · 06-07-2003, 01:23 PM

yes. it. is. very. good. thread.

cdwonderful · 06-07-2003, 02:38 PM

it was, but now it needs new blood and a focus

TaiModan · 06-07-2003, 02:58 PM

did anyone else click on this thread expecting something TOTALLY different?

Magpie0001 · 06-07-2003, 03:13 PM

Aparently. It. only. works. until. the. cat. tries. to. eat. the. bread. &. then. it. all. falls. apart. . Thats. why. the. BCA. research. was. dropped.

spectre · 06-07-2003, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BoCo
Best. Answer. Ever.

Agreed. That was great.

Rienfliesch · 06-09-2003, 06:51 AM

Meow

rockogre · 06-09-2003, 08:38 AM

The original arrays were low power, low rotational speed machines and were mostly labratory curiousities. Also the smell of racid butter and cat feces dictated large ventilation assemblies if the array were to be scaled up.

Secret documents brought to light since the fall of the Soviet Empire describe huge cylinders whose outside circumference were lined with rings of cats aligned along the rotational axis of the cylinder. As cats always land on their feet it was discovered that three or more cats bound in a feet out configuration at 120 degree intervals would rotate WITHOUT THE USE OF BUTTERED BREAD!

This finding allowed all forces to then be focused on cat maintenance. It was found that attaching and removing hundreds of cats was not only time consuming but dangerous. Cat scratch fever was rampant among the early maintenance crews.

The answer involved two radial tubes. One at the cats head, and one at the tail.

The head tube provided unlimited food as each cat could eat on at least one third of each rotation. The other two thirds of the tube were filled with cat treats, toys, and catnip.

On a side note, it was discovered that the catnip to cat ratio had to be kept within very severe limits as too little made the cats bored but too much would result in runaway roatation of the device, oftern with deadly and messy consequences as cats became detached from the cylinder at high speed.

Waste products from the exhaust were handled by the second tube, commonly refered to by the maintenance crew as the "Shit Tube". With the rear of each cat firmly attaced to the tube, both solid waste and gaseous components were flushed from the tube on each rotation.

Noting that cats are unusually quite, plans were discovered for large submarines powered entirely by Feline Rotational Cylinders, or FRC's.

Rumor has it that all FRC related material was moved to the infamous Area 51 in Nevada and all mention of this technology is now totally withheld from the world at large.

Thraeryn · 06-09-2003, 08:42 AM

You two aren't engineers, are you? *raises eyebrow*

Ogre840 · 06-11-2003, 09:10 AM

so many cats do the trick, but what if you did the same thing with buttered toast? Stuck two buttered pieces together, once on each side, butter facing out, or even in. Wouldn't that have the same rotating effect?

SaltPork · 06-11-2003, 09:33 AM

it rubs the butter on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

debaser · 06-11-2003, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ogre840
so many cats do the trick, but what if you did the same thing with buttered toast? Stuck two buttered pieces together, once on each side, butter facing out, or even in. Wouldn't that have the same rotating effect?

Yes, but it's not nearly as entertaining as a cat strapped to a piece of toast rotating above the floor, now is it?

queedo · 06-11-2003, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by rockogre
The original arrays were low power, low rotational speed machines and were mostly labratory curiousities. Also the smell of racid butter and cat feces dictated large ventilation assemblies if the array were to be scaled up.

Secret documents brought to light since the fall of the Soviet Empire describe huge cylinders whose outside circumference were lined with rings of cats aligned along the rotational axis of the cylinder. As cats always land on their feet it was discovered that three or more cats bound in a feet out configuration at 120 degree intervals would rotate WITHOUT THE USE OF BUTTERED BREAD!

This finding allowed all forces to then be focused on cat maintenance. It was found that attaching and removing hundreds of cats was not only time consuming but dangerous. Cat scratch fever was rampant among the early maintenance crews.

The answer involved two radial tubes. One at the cats head, and one at the tail.

The head tube provided unlimited food as each cat could eat on at least one third of each rotation. The other two thirds of the tube were filled with cat treats, toys, and catnip.

On a side note, it was discovered that the catnip to cat ratio had to be kept within very severe limits as too little made the cats bored but too much would result in runaway roatation of the device, oftern with deadly and messy consequences as cats became detached from the cylinder at high speed.

Waste products from the exhaust were handled by the second tube, commonly refered to by the maintenance crew as the "Shit Tube". With the rear of each cat firmly attaced to the tube, both solid waste and gaseous components were flushed from the tube on each rotation.

Noting that cats are unusually quite, plans were discovered for large submarines powered entirely by Feline Rotational Cylinders, or FRC's.

Rumor has it that all FRC related material was moved to the infamous Area 51 in Nevada and all mention of this technology is now totally withheld from the world at large.

I tried to think up a very clever answer for this but I don't think I can ever out do this one! Well Done

06-07-2003, 10:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
Kid A Upright	Pussy-related Q If buttered bread always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, can you tie a piece of buttered bread to a cat's back and have it rotate a few inches above the floor indefinitely? __________________ I'm back to save the universe...

06-07-2003, 11:07 AM	#2 (permalink)
debaser Sir, I have a plan... Location: 38S NC20943324	Yes. This was hypothesised in the early 80's, and came to be known as the BCA (Buttered Cat Array). The Japanese briefly experimented with it as a means to power their high speed train systems, but found it to be unfeasable. Apparently there was wide spread looting of the BCA components by local restaurant owners. Mmmmm.... Buttered cat. __________________ Fortunato became immured to the sound of the trowel after a while.

06-07-2003, 11:50 AM	#3 (permalink)
BoCo Fear the bunny Location: Hanging off the tip of the Right Wing	Best. Answer. Ever. __________________ Activism is a way for useless people to feel important.

06-07-2003, 01:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
BBtB ClerkMan! Location: Tulsa, Ok.	Lets.All.Talk.Like.This.From.Now.On __________________ Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ... "I would like about three fiddy"

06-07-2003, 01:23 PM	#5 (permalink)
debaser Sir, I have a plan... Location: 38S NC20943324	No. __________________ Fortunato became immured to the sound of the trowel after a while.

06-07-2003, 01:23 PM	#6 (permalink)
sadistikdreams lonely rolling star Location: Seattle.	yes. it. is. very. good. thread. __________________ "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a.

06-07-2003, 02:38 PM	#7 (permalink)
cdwonderful another passenger Location: Youngstown, Ohio	it was, but now it needs new blood and a focus __________________ Never try to teach a pig to whistle it wastes your time, and annoys the pig.....

06-07-2003, 02:58 PM	#8 (permalink)
TaiModan Banned Location: Nanaimo BC Canada	did anyone else click on this thread expecting something TOTALLY different?

06-07-2003, 03:13 PM	#9 (permalink)
Magpie0001 Nobody Loves Me Location: Irish In Madrid	Aparently. It. only. works. until. the. cat. tries. to. eat. the. bread. &. then. it. all. falls. apart. . Thats. why. the. BCA. research. was. dropped. __________________ Music is my first love & It will be my last.

06-09-2003, 06:51 AM	#11 (permalink)
Rienfliesch Crazy	Meow

06-09-2003, 08:38 AM	#12 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	The original arrays were low power, low rotational speed machines and were mostly labratory curiousities. Also the smell of racid butter and cat feces dictated large ventilation assemblies if the array were to be scaled up. Secret documents brought to light since the fall of the Soviet Empire describe huge cylinders whose outside circumference were lined with rings of cats aligned along the rotational axis of the cylinder. As cats always land on their feet it was discovered that three or more cats bound in a feet out configuration at 120 degree intervals would rotate WITHOUT THE USE OF BUTTERED BREAD! This finding allowed all forces to then be focused on cat maintenance. It was found that attaching and removing hundreds of cats was not only time consuming but dangerous. Cat scratch fever was rampant among the early maintenance crews. The answer involved two radial tubes. One at the cats head, and one at the tail. The head tube provided unlimited food as each cat could eat on at least one third of each rotation. The other two thirds of the tube were filled with cat treats, toys, and catnip. On a side note, it was discovered that the catnip to cat ratio had to be kept within very severe limits as too little made the cats bored but too much would result in runaway roatation of the device, oftern with deadly and messy consequences as cats became detached from the cylinder at high speed. Waste products from the exhaust were handled by the second tube, commonly refered to by the maintenance crew as the "Shit Tube". With the rear of each cat firmly attaced to the tube, both solid waste and gaseous components were flushed from the tube on each rotation. Noting that cats are unusually quite, plans were discovered for large submarines powered entirely by Feline Rotational Cylinders, or FRC's. Rumor has it that all FRC related material was moved to the infamous Area 51 in Nevada and all mention of this technology is now totally withheld from the world at large. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

06-09-2003, 08:42 AM	#13 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	You two aren't engineers, are you? raises eyebrow

06-11-2003, 09:10 AM	#14 (permalink)
Ogre840 Banned Location: OlyWa	so many cats do the trick, but what if you did the same thing with buttered toast? Stuck two buttered pieces together, once on each side, butter facing out, or even in. Wouldn't that have the same rotating effect?

06-11-2003, 09:33 AM	#15 (permalink)
SaltPork Everything's better with bacon Location: In your local grocer's freezer.	it rubs the butter on its skin or else it gets the hose again. __________________ It was like that when I got here....I swear.