Welcome to Saskatchewan
 

Everyone has heard shit like this before. I know I am not being original here.

Us folks from Saskatchewan appreciate humour.



Welcome to Saskatchewan. Thank you for visiting our beautiful province.

No offense, but here are a few things you ought to know to make your stay more pleasant:

1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a 4-wheel drive because I need it. Now drive or get it the hell out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine-years-old. Yeah, we saw Bambi die. We got over it.

4. Any references to "grain fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked...by our women.

5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an idiot.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

8. Yeah, we have sweetened ice tea. It comes sweetened, you don't need a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

9. You bring Coke into my house you should bring rye along, and ice.

10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.

11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town, but we stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

13. Yeah, we eat trout, northern pike, walleye and perch, too. If you really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.

14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Highways #1 and #16 go two ways - get on one of them. The more people that leave, the better the hunting & fishing.

15. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

16. Yeah, we have golf courses, more per person than anywhere else on earth. Don't hit into the water hazards. It spooks the fish. And stay out of the woods, that spooks the deer.

17. It is pronounced "S'kachwn", not "Sas-katch-yew-wahn". One quick syllable. Please try to speed it up a bit.

Please enjoy your stay.. Thank you for visiting our beautiful province.

mmmmm rye & coke....

Remind me to stay way the hell out of S'kachwn. ;)

I love Saskatchewan

3 years in La Ronge baby!

Yes, I am scarred for life.

"There's a province up in Canada that's right next door to ours.
It's called Saskatchewan. And, uh, in that province there's a
small town, uh, where nothing much ever happens, called
Saskatoon. This is a tune about that town. This is called
'Runnin' Back To Saskatoon'."
~~~~~

I been hangin' around gas stations
I been learnin' 'bout tires
I been talkin' to grease monkeys
I been workin' on cars

Moose Jaw, Broadview, Moosomin too
Runnin' back to Saskatoon
Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat
Sing another prairie tune
Sing another prairie tune

I been hangin' around libraries
I been learnin' 'bout books
I been talkin' to playwriters
I been workin' on words, phrases

I been hangin' around hospitals
I been learnin' 'bout dyin'
I been talkin' to heart doctors
I been workin' on disease

This spirit is home grown
Don't come from Hong Kong
This spirit is home grown
Don't come from Hong Kong

I been hangin' around grain elevators
I been learnin' 'bout food
I been talkin' to soil farmers
I been workin' on land

I been hangin' around camera stores
I been learnin' 'bout sight
I been talkin' to film makers
I been workin' on eyes

Moose Jaw, Broadview, Moosomin too
Runnin' back to Saskatoon
Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat
Sing another prairie tune
Sing another prairie tune

This spirit is home grown
Don't come from Hong Kong
This spirit is home grown
Don't come from Hong Kong

/me packs her bags, fishing pole, buys a pickup truck and a rifle and moves...