What Do You Suck at Cooking?
 

I can't cook rice. I always seem to fuck it up. My rice is overcooked, the flavors didn't match right, I put to much salt/pepper/sake in it. Something always goes wrong. I have such good intentions with rice and nothing ever comes out right.

So my question is: What do you always screw up in a kitchen? It can be a certain dish or just one type of food. What is it that you can't cook?









Also: 1000th post! Woo! :thumbsup:

I promise that practice makes perfect with rice. I don't think anyone is born cooking good rice.

I had trouble with lentil soup for the longest time. I would always miss the sweet spot, they'd either be hard and undercooked or burned. Even to this day, I have to stand over the lentils for about 25 minutes monitoring it constantly to prevent it from burning, whereas most other people just set a timer and leave. Timing can be tough in cooking.

Eggs - sunnyside up. I just can't do it. They always stick to the pan or I bust the yolk when getting them out. I also suck with omelettes (sp?). They're always runny inside. :/

Oooh, I have troubles with rice, too. At least, I did, until I switched most of our rice cooking to kokuho rose rice. This stuff is the crack of rice, and always comes out perfect for me.

Also a rice cooker helps, but we haven't replaced ours since it broke.

Oh, and about 1/2 tsp salt per cup of dry rice seems like a good amount to me. Maybe 1/4 tsp or none if using salted chicken broth.

---------- Post added at 06:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:20 PM ----------

Try lowering the heat, using a nonstick pan if you aren't already, and cover the pan while the eggs are cooking. Uncovered, the bottom is pretty much guaranteed to overcook before the top sets.

What mainly happens is I try and get the spatula under the egg and I end up just scooching it to the edge of the pan till it pops. Pisses me off. I've seen kids come out with better eggs than me.

But ty :o.

I had trouble with omelets too until I got the email that goes around about putting all the ingredients in a ziploc back and putting the bags in boiling water, now I make perfect omelets every time

My thing I can make is meringue, I cant get the stuff to peak no matter what I do....doesnt really matter though I cant stand the stuff lol

Wait, what now? I didn't get this memo...

I suck at timing ... I sit and wait for the food to cook in the kitchen while I watch it because it WILL burn if I move my head slightly!

This site has a video showing you how to do it

How to Make a ZipLock Bag Omelet - Associated Content

when I make mine I usually put cheese, mushrooms, ham and onions in it :)

there are some sites out there saying ziploc bags have not been approved for this, so take that as you will...I've been doing it for a long time and have never ever had one even remotely melt on me

Salisbury steak...yeah go figure...the patty's never stay together and it always ends up a very beefy gravy on top of smashed taters' :thumbsup:

I actually cook very well and can make some pretty amazing meals so why this one continues to elude me, in all of it's 'ihop' standard of quality, I truly do not understand....:shakehead:

savmesom, actually we prefer ours that way lol so much so we brown the ground meat non patty style and then put in the gravy, cept we eat ours over rice

but on the odd occasion we want patties I cook the patties on my foreman grill and then put them in the skillet with the gravy

Heating plastic like that makes me nervous about the kinds of chemicals it's likely releasing into your food.

The two things I have the most trouble with are rice... I am actually OK with cooking rice in a pot but am just getting a handle on our rice cooker, and pork... I have trouble with the timing and end up over-cooking it. I know practice will make perfect.

So I vow to cook more pork.

That's AWESOME - we do make a similar version now that I think about it that I call my 'meat gravy rice' recipe! hahaha

this is me, except put 'chicken' in instead of pork.

I have never heard of this! I'd be afraid of the bag melting too. But I'm still going to do it.

Thanks!

I use the quart size..we do this at least twice a month :)

I'm all over it.

No pans to clean = w00t. lol

i suck at cooking chicken unless it's cut up and stir fried or something.
i stopped cooking things i suck at and i'm afraid to my current oven, so i don't remember too much of what i really suck at. there are plenty of dishes.
my rice steamer has done a spectacular job of fixing my rice issues. no matter the type, it comes out perfect every time.
whew!

Pancakes. I seem to always over mix and end up with hard disks.

I suck at cooking... well most everything that doesn't require a grill. Yes I am THAT guy. Give me a BBQ and I'm set, put me in front of a stove and I'm pretty much lost.

Here is one of the best pancake recipes I've found. Just don't (whatever you do) overmix when combining the wet and dry ingredients. Just use a whisk (rather than some sort electric gadget) and whisk until the ingredients are combined (this should take no more than 30 seconds or so) and then let it rest for a bit.

2 large eggs
1 1/4 cup (10 oz) milk (full fat)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract (optional)
3 tablespoons (1 1/2 oz) butter, melted, or vegetable oil
1 1/2 cup (6 1/4 oz) unbleached all purpose flour
3/4 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 tablespoons sugar, or 1/4 cup malted milk powder

Beat the eggs, milk and vanilla until light and foamy, about 3 minutes at high speed on a stand or hand mixer. Stir in the butter.

Whisk the dry ingredients together to evenly distribute the salt, baking powder and sweetener. Gently and quickly mix into the egg and milk mixture. Let the batter relax while the griddle is heating (or overnight in the refrigerator). The batter will thicken while resting.

Grease and preheat the griddle. The griddle is ready if a drop of water will skitter across the surface, evaporating immediately; if you have an electric griddle, set the temperature between 325°F and 350°F. Drop 1/4 cupfuls of batter onto the lightly greased griddle. Cook on one side until bubbles begin to form and break, then turn the pancakes and cook on the other side until brown. Turn over only once. Serve immediately.

BLASPHEMY. UTTER BLASPHEMY. I spray my pan, preheat it and flip my egg-platter, then add my stuff and fold it. Works every time, you just need to practice :D

wooÐs, on your sunny side up, do you use a thin metal spatula? Do a thin metal one and give the pan a little shake as you slide up the egg. Make sure the spatula has a little butter spray on it. It should work IMO.

But the ziplock thing, yeah that's probably really bad for you. Plastic that isn't designed to be cooked will more than likely leach various chemicals into your food. What is stable at room temp isn't always stable when heated. Over a short time frame, it's probably about as good as scraping your teflon pan with a fork and eating that.

On rice, just read the directions and follow their advice. Usually works.

As for what I suck at, dunno. Everything I've cooked so far has worked out. Even my first attempt at real gumbo with homemade roux (pronounced roo), years ago, worked fine.

Anything that involves baking...

I'm awful at it.

lol

http://www.bettycrocker.com/NR/rdonl...r_bisquick.jpg

I use a nice quality, plastic one.
I thought you're not supposed to use metal on non-stick?

eeeewwww - store bought pancake mix. :(

It depends on the typo of non stick.

For a pre-mixed pancake mix, Bisquick was my go-to for years.

I've since learned that it doesn't take that much more time to make them from scratch... and they are so much better.

---------- Post added at 02:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:37 PM ----------

It's funny that Vigilante says, Blasphemy over the Ziplock bag Omelet... I'm cringing over his use of Spray Butter.

I just use butter... and lots of it. A good omelet should almost be poached in butter... but I rarely go that far. ;)

I'm actually pretty good at most things I cook... but, like woods... I can't do sunny side up eggs. I ALWAYS break the yoke. Grrr.

http://i42.tinypic.com/i70jzt.jpg

I'm pretty sure this isn't the same spray butter being referenced in this thread, but if you haven't tried this shit.... Well, don't. It's an atrocious offense to all butter/margarine everywhere!

I don't like cooking on teflon when can help it, so I use metal on metal when I can. Old school :D

I know what you mean, but my wife is a health nut and doesn't bring butter into the house. I hate going to the store. Between those two, I use canned butter spray. Not that great, but meh. Works for me.

Back in the day I made eggs like you said. Butter and lots of it. Delicious. Scrambled with butter and a little salt was like egg heaven. I added pepper if I was in the mood, but for a late night snack it was just salt. mmmm....

Tell your wife to take a hike... butter is better! :D

I suck at cooking scrambled eggs. I solved this dilemma by having hubby cook all of the scrambled eggs in our household.

Charlatan, I'm going to try that pancake recipe this weekend.

*sits next to CG*
I'm all confused over the butter thing. They say it's better for you. Yet they say it's not.

I use this stuff. It doesn't burn when cooking with it. And it tastes great.

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/02...45_215X215.jpg

Oh butter isn't good for you, it just makes everything taste SO much better. If you are worried about fat content and losing weight, use extra virgin olive oil. The can spray has so many chemicals in it and doesn't taste anything close to butter. Olive oil doesn't burn that quickly and it is good for you(ish). At least use a blended oil if you are worried about price.

Also, you can clarified butter to remove the water solitudes and fat from it. Then it doesn't burn anymore(ish).

*****

Also, I can't cook eggs. Ever. I know HOW to cook every kind of egg you can think of, but they never taste right to me. Also, not a big egg fan.

EVERYTHING!! Which is pretty pathetic since I went to culinary Arts school. :expressionless:

Everything.



Which isn't good for my career.

Butter is not bad for you.

Anything in excess is bad for you.

If you are eating healthy, in other words, good portion control, lots of vegetables and less meat... butter is not bad for you.

If you are worried about burning your butter, just add a little oil with the butter. It let's you keep the flavour of the butter but increases the temperature at which you can use the butter. Also, if you haven't had brown butter with your mashed potatoes, you don't know what you are missing (google Beurre Noisette).

I tend to get steak wrong. Either I undercook it or it tastes boiled. I find it hard to sear it just right, while still making it flavoursome. I think it's the heat I have wrong, and maybe also the wrong pan? Everything else I can cook fine.

Plain rice I can do, it's those fancy pilafs that always screw me up. Yeah yeah, the stuff in the box doesn't count. I'm talking about real, bulk-bin, natural rice blends. They always turn out wrong for me.

It's taken me a while to get egg dishes just right... but I have the knack now.

Watch the way those chefs at a breakfast buffet egg station cook eggs/omelettes. The secret ingredient is indeed, BUTTER. You can get away with a TB of veggie oil as well. They use a WELL SEASONED (see "old") pan that is ALWAYS HOT. It's not about the quality or non-sticky-ness of the pan itself, it's all about cooking the eggs quickly AND still having enough slik stuff lubricating the pan during cooking - including all the way to the end. Did you use too much oil or butter? No problem, serve the eggs/omelette over some toast, it'll soak it up.

For sunny side up, you can also place a loose fitting lid (a pie tin works great) over the pan to help the top of the egg cook.

little_tipper: I'm assuming you are using a cast-iron grill-pan? I have never had success with those either. Season lightly with Kosher salt, black pepper and garlic powder. Fire up a charcoal grill using a chimney starter, get coals REALLY HOT. Grill for 8 minutes, 2 minutes on side A, turn 45 degrees keep cooking 2 more on side A. Then flip to side B cook 2 minutes, turn 45 degrees cook 2 more. That will give an average thickness steak (1.5 inches, for thinner steaks reduce each time incriment, thicker, add a little) a perfect "rare." Move steak over away from the coals and close the lid, continue cooking on indirect heat until it reaches your desired level of doneness. Keep in mind, this is assuming a very hot grill, many cheap-o gas grills just don't get too hot, and I'm a charcoal purist.

Meat...flesh...of any kind. I haven't eaten meat in nearly 8 years. I'm afraid to burn and I'm afraid I won't cook it all the way. It doesn't really matter since I'm not going to eat it anyway. I like to cook, so if my friends come over for dinner, they need to suck it up and eat my vegetarian food. Unless they want salmonella.

With steaks... the key is heat. If the pan isn't hot enough, you will not sear your meat. You will just be boiling it.

A really great way to get the most of out of a nice, thick steak is to baste it in butter while you are searing it, then finish it off in the oven. Just don't over cook it. Medium rare is said to be the best way to treat meat (though I prefer it pretty rare myself).