Post the movie theater behaviors you hate
 

It's time for me to be a crotchety old fart. I LOVE going to the movies, and can't stand to have that marvelous experience ruined by others.

Here's what I hate:
- People behind me that put their feet on my seat. They usually end up kicking the back of my seat rhythmically.
- People who feel the urge to explain to someone else what's going on.
- Anyone who brings little kids to an R movie.
- Cell phones, and dimshits who actually take the call!
- Kids going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth to the lobby.

Here are warrrr's Rules of Order:
Buy your fucking ticket.
Buy your fucking popcorn.
Sit the fuck down.
Shut the fuck up.

Amen!!!

And if you bring your kids.

DONT PUNISH THEM DURING THE MOVIE!!!!!

take it outside.... if I gotta hear you repeatedly tell your kid to be quiet and sit down until you and I are both furious then take the kid out of the theater.

And if any of you rabble rousing teens wanna be mister funnyduring the movie I just paid 14 bucks for... i COULD OF RENTED 8 MOVIES... in the quiet of my own home... with children sleeping..... I swear I'll give you a dirty look once and only once... then the verbal abuse starts, then i call my lawyer to prepare for the law suit yer daddie is gonna file on me.... damn kids

My wife just e-mailed me her list. Here's the whole thing.

the guy who dipped tobacco during the movie (we live in the South, and this is actually a problem there!!)

people who bring infants and do not remove them when they start screaming

gum popping

the guy who used his popcorn tub as a drum through the entire movie

the woman who spilled an entire bottle of perfume on herself, didn't change and sat next to me

unnecessary popcorn digging

people who lean back in my lap

people who release their children to run, walk, skate, slide up and down the aisles

people who come in late and sit right in front of or behind me and proceed with all of the previous complaints


and the all-time thing I hate.......................................

TOO MUCH SALT IN THE POPCORN

I hate it when some one brings an elderly parent and has to constantly explain what is happening in the movie.

If you can't sit in the theatre and just watch the movie then you should be shot (okay not shot, maybe kicked out - no - shot is good)

How about the people who get up and make you adjust or get out of your seat so they can go to the bathroom or wherever, FIFTY FUCKING TIMES during the movie.?

Or if you are on the end, and they are in the middle and they constantly choose your side to exit thorugh, even though the other way has a lot less people.

I hate that.

Those giants that sit right in front of me.

That stinky ass smell cold popcorn emits when chewed.(I got the nose of a frickin greyhound)

Metallicas Icon is on MTV now... something goods on mtv.. gotta watch it...

i can't stand it when people take off their shoes and stick their dirty little toes thru the gap in the seats, so that half way thru the film, you glance to the side and see filthy little toes peeking at you!!!

lucky i don't have a toe licking fetish, or those dirty little toes last night would have copped a good lickin!

The twelve year old kids who think it's funny to run up and down the aisles screaming. A friend of mine once tripped one of those kids, gave them something to really laugh at.

Stop kicking the back of my fucking chair.

I came here at this time so I could experience the openness and comfort of not dealing with a large crowd. So why the fuck are you sitting with your huge fucking melon head in front of me when there 10 seats on either side of you.

Turn off your fucking cell phone.

Quit jerking off in front off me- - - - no just joking, I would definitely be in the wrong theatre.

Motherfuckers who think they're cool and try to impress their friends with stupid fucking jokes

Motherfuckers who seem to think rustling their chippie/lolly bag will somehow make the annoying sucking/crunching sounds less annoying

Motherfuckers who laugh when they're not supposed to

Motherfuckers who get up and leave to go to the toilet (you dumb fuck, you piss before you go in or at least don't buy that jumbo ice filled coke... you fucking bitch)

I'd go on but I'm angry!!

All the above are annoying, especially the talking on the cell phone for half the fucking movie... god I wish I could kill them.

Then there's the wife watching the movie, and the fatass husband coming in halfway through, right behind me, pushing ever seat as he passes, and then proceeding to stay standing next to her seat, while having a conversation at full volume with her before turning around and leaving, pushing all the seats along the way (that only happened once, but by god, if it ever happens again, I will kill someone).

Motherfuckers who say "I can't watch! It's too scary!", then why the fuck did you pay ten fucking dollars to see the movie you puny bitch.

Motherfuckers who are too fucking tall to be called a fucking human sitting in front of you and then asking you "I'm not getting in the way am I?" Well motherfucker you actually are, howsabouts I cut your fucking head off? (hey I'm 185cm but there some big motherfuckers out there)

Motherfuckers who have seen the movie that spoil it for everyone else, examples "Far out, I can't believe Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time!" or "Yeah man Edward Norton and Brad Pitt are the same guy!", here's a spoiler for the next motherfucker that does that "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ALONE!"

Motherfuckers who drop their keys and rumage through their jackets and the floor looking for them whilst managing to knock everyone around them about.

Motherfuckers who put their cups of drink down in front of them then accidentally kick it

Motherfuckers who don't even watch the fucking movie and giggle about stupid shit

Motherfuckers who bring teething babies into movies that aren't even suitable for fucking babies let alone suitable for an audience to have to put up with the incessant and ultra-loud fucking crying

My God, DeFlok! Someone who gets as pissed as I do!

I've read about theatres that only seat 20 or so people and you have several feet between your party and any other parties. The ticket price is around $25, but I'd GLADLY pay it.

My wife and I have been known to ask the box office cashier which movie has the least number of people, and that's how we choose what we watch. We've seen several movies we might have never chosen simply because we had the whole theatre to ourselves.

Here's my main rule when going to see any movie.

When those ignorant slides are running across the screen before the start of the film? Please feel free to talk loudly, make fun of the ads, etc.

The previews have started? It's ok to whisper to your seatmates a little, especially when the preview is ove and you want to mention that you'd like to see that.

However, once the lights are all the way down and the first frame of the feature film flicks across the screen I want you quiet. No talking, no whispering, no cell phones, only giggling and screaming where appropriate. The only time I should hear words come out of your mouth is when they are, "Oh my god, I'm on fire!"

Also, why are the floors always so sticky? Hasn't anyone at the theatre ever heard of a fucking mop?

We have a cinema in town that has VIP screening rooms. They seat a max of 30 people, have extremely comfortable chairs, generously spaced out that have small side tables. In addition you get served at your seat (no waiting in line at the snack counter)...
The premium you pay is quite reasonable.

Oh, such heaven! It's worth it to me to drive to whatever towns have this, no matter how far, in order to see a good movie in a good environment.

2 things actually:

-kicking the back of my seat
-people saying: I saw this movie 2 months ago on my computer ...

The thing that REALLY annoys me is running commentary, or EXPLAINING why every joke in the film is funny. Bastards!

People that unconsciously move their leg up and down really fast so it vibrates through the entire fucking row of seats.

Here's something else I've noticed especially in movies. Why do hicks and morons laugh loudest at the jokes that have already been seen over and over again in the previews?

The people who let out spoilers not because they've seen it the day before in the theater, but because they like it so much when they downloaded it three weeks ago that they had to see it on opening day.

The mob of middle-school girls who sat there whimpering in fear and occasionally screaming at non-scary parts (door opens, chorus of screams) during "The Ring."

Speaking of cell phones, it's a good thing I had mine set on vibrate when I watched "The Ring." Someone (not in the theater, just a coincidence) decided to call me a few seconds after the tape finished in the cabin. I fully expected something weird like that to happen, but I think it would have sent the mob of girls into shock (maybe not a bad thing.)

Oh, almost forgot, I told this to my friends who did it, YOU DO NOT NEED TO ATTEND STAR WARS MOVIES WHILE DRESSED AS THE CHARACTERS FROM THE MOVIE.

Amen.

I saw the ring, and the people next to me had their cellphones on (and talked into it for the whole fucking movie), but right after the tape finished, their phone rang, I jumped like 3 feet.

People that put their feet on my seat!!! I actually bang my back a couple times against my seat..9 times out of 10 it knocks their feet down and they get the hint..

Talkers...especially sitting right next to me...I won't hesitate to tell you to shut the hell up!!!

I actually get really Pissed when I go to see a movie for the first time and others who may have already seen it start cheering and clapping through all the heroic parts...which makes me miss parts of the movie....Happened during Lord of The Rings Two Towers....Pissed me off beyond belief!!!

Never had the cell phone problem but it would piss me off if it happened.

When kids have thoses damn glow-sticks and are waving them throughout the whole movie. That ticks me off the most.

Recent annoyance:
Right before the end credits of X-men 2, and I mean the very last scene, some local scally sitting further along the row from me gets up and leaves.

Ok, fine, he can do that.

But to walk right infront of me and my 5 mates to get the the aisle/stairs on the far side of us, instead of going toward the closest one to him.

As far as I recall, we were the only people on the row.

If I was a violent man....

Did I mention I hate scallies?

How sweet is that?! I wish we had one where I live!
As far as the list goes, I would like to tar & feather the seat kickers, the morons with their phones turned on, parents that let their kids run all over and the people who feel like they have to narrate the movie. Grrrr.

what I absolutely hate is these really annoying gay soundugn middle school panzies who are trying to act cool behind you.

All i can say is anyone so much as coughs during "RELOADED", I'M GONNA FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING SNAP! MOTHERFUCKER!

Wow... a lot of angry folks here. Let's see, most of the basics have been covered already, so I won't bother recapping mine in those areas.

Ones I haven't seen posted yet.
1) Someone eating popcorn near you ... and chewing with their mouth open! It's like watching a movie with the garbage disposal in the background. I was watching SW Episode 2 with a friend on the opening day when some bastard behind us was doing this. My friend has anger issues and I was just about sure that the man behind us was going to get the beating of his life. He starting chewing more appropriately after two glares though.

2) People that bring kids that question everything. "Dad, why did he do that?" "Dad, what was so funny?" "Dad, what does [whatever word] mean?" Questions during movies are strictly for rental movies. People should tell their children that watching movies in a theater is a priveledge and a "quiet time" experience.

3) People that walk into a theater during the movie, look around, and leave. You just entered my peripheral vision, you bastards, and are distracting me from the movie! Why did you come in if you didn't sit down?! (Theater management is not exempt... employees should be discrete enough not to be noticed!)

i forgot to mention, I HATE LASER POINTERS.

i mean, how funny can it be wiggling a little red dot around Halle Berrys boobies, for an entire movie?

I must be one lucky son of a bitch. I've never had any of these problems happen in my life, save for a stupid group of teens using a laser pointer during Sixth Sense. Fortunately, another group of larger, angrier teens were kind enough to "borrow" the kid's laser pointer. I'm sure he got it back after the movie was over.

Motherfuckers who get their jollies at using a laser pointer on every womans vaginal area when they appear on screen.

PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE WHEN ENTERING A MOVIE THEATER!!

Everyone can remember to do it, and it's not too much to ask.

It's just plain rude to even THINK about answering a call at the movies! That's really my only complaint, coz I haven't seen too much of the other behaviors listed here...but I think the ushers should start pulling ppl out who take phonecalls while in the theater.

If you happen to forget, silence your phone, and call them back later. Nothing is that urgent, and if you expect that it is, you shouldn't be at the movies anyway.


done ranting now, but everyone, please take this to heart. ;)

Commercials. I can watch fucking commercials at home for free. I do not need to pay $10 to see fucking commercials.

Melanin does not give one the right to have a conversation with a movie. I have yet to see any evidence that it give one the ability to have an intelligent conversation with the screen. Lived for a while near a theater frequented by these "suave urbanites" who always spat inanities at the screen in a jive accent. Gave some ratification to my disdain of "the other". Want to talk to the screen? Go see Rocky Fuckin' Horror.

I hear a cell phone (I hate the little fuckers on principle) during Reloaded, I will set it on vibrate and jam it up the ass of the cretin who brought it so that they need to change their pants whenever they get a call. Only those things directly related to my immediate personal saftey are important enough to justify interruption of my enjoyment of a movie.

I only go to the theater during the day so that it won't be crowded and there won't be any kids. Only old folks, but they're usually near-comatose already, so they're not a problem.

I hate anyone who decides to sit down directly in front of me when the movie theater is not crowded. And it's always someone tall to block my view, never a midget.

Motherfucking true motherfucker.

It's also good to find a theater that's not one of those megaplexes but still premieres new movies. They're hard to find anymore but it's so worth it, not as many idiots to mess it up for you.

Drunks. This is my worst movie experience:

Used to live in a college town that had late night movies on weekends. Loud and drunk. People yelled at the screen. The first comment was quite funny. The next twenty were just annoying. Heard a beer bottle (I assume) clack on the floor and roll down at least ten rows. The lovers two rows back talked throughout loud enough for me to hear what they were talking about. A good number of the drunks didn't make it through the whole movie. About half way through two ushers walk up the aisle. They stop and talk before coming back with a mop. Yup, someone tossed their cookies and for five minutes I watched the silhouette of an usher with a mop clean up the mess.

That was the last time I ever went to the late movie. Even now I try to go on slow weeknights just to avoid all of the behaviors listed above.

Last week, my friends and I saw X2. The theatre was sold out and we got there late, so we all got spread out, but every one of us ended up by someone annoying.

-Kid who felt the need to yell out any XMen comic reference "OMG PHOENIX!"
-Guy who could control his farting and his friend who laughed at it
-Big fat guy who's laughs would shake the seats
-Woman who kept shaking her box of Gobbstoppers.

heres what i hate:

weird stain on almost every movie seat....and i dont think thats butter.

Babies and toddlers. Get a fucking babysitter. No 3 year old is going to understand X-Men 2, and when he starts babbling at high volume every time there's some dialogue I want to hear, I'm going to walk over and cut his throat in front of you. Leave the baby at home.

Maybe if the fucking theatre made you pay full price for his ticket, or gave you hell for bringing him to a PG-13 movie, this wouldn't happen as much.

maybe i am insenitive, but i cannot stand when a really fat guy sits near me and has his LARGE popcorn and eighteen different boxes of candy and is out of breath from walking up the stairs but cant wait to eat his damn candy so he stuffs his face and has to breath through his nose but he is congested so his left nostril whistles and then he opens his mouth for more food, and like a swimmer takes that little bit of time when his mouth is open and either breaths out, spraying food everywhere, or breaths in so that he chokes on all the popcorn crumbs in his mouth that are now in his throught so he starts coughing and then the whole process starts over again...... that bothers me

People who save seats for people who aren't present. I mean, saving one or two seats is understandable, but 2 or 3 people "saving" almost a whole row is ridiculous.
Also, taking people to sci-fi/cult films who know nothing about them. Some previous knowledge is required, or you'll have them asking you to explain everything every two seconds.
Also, little kids. Maybe they should start enforcing that PG-13 rule or just change it to NC-13. When I saw Spiderman, these two ladies (not affiliated with the theatre) came in and roped off 3 or 4 rows in the section right up next to the screen (in front of me). Then a troop of kids no older than 6 or 5 roamed in and I lived in movie hell for 2 hours.

I hate those jackasses with the huge heads/hair when they sit in front of you with their bratty little kids and then the damn kids start imitating the mildly funny things and scream and annoy the fuck out of everyone. Its great being in a movie theatre away from where you live, you can tell them to shut the hell up, and no one you know will know. Damn i'm in an evil mood today, muahaha

I got nothin' new to add but I agree with just about all of these; with the one small caveat that I might be a bit more tolerant of things like wrapper rattles during movies like Black Hawk Down or other flicks of new constant mayhem.

I was sitting in a movie theater once - the stadium seating kind - when this dude sat on my head. Seems he wanted to get a picture of his family at the movies (huh? why?) and leaned way back to get them all in frame, not caring that this meant his ass was now on my head.

I got back though. Waited until he started to get up, then stood up REALLY fast straight into his tailbone ;)


thing is, all this movie theater behavior is just another indicator of society's problems. Everyone looks out for #1. They do what they want to do, and screw the consequences to anyone around him.

IMHO, this kind of crap should be illegal. People using cell phones in theaters, concert halls, etc, should be fined. Or the crowd should be allowed to carry out some mob justice on them. Yeah, I like that idea better ;)

I hate THE FUKIN COMMERCIALS BEFORE A FILM!!! If I wanted to watch a fucking ad about Coke I would have stayed at home.

I also hate every motherfuker in the theater that is not ME!!

Finally, what the hell is the purpose of having the thermostat set at 40 fucking degrees??

Oh.......I almost forgot..........if you have a really important job and you have to have your cell phone on because you are just that FUCKING IMPORTANT.............wait for the DVD and keep your ass out of MY MOVIE THEATER!!


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....that felt good :)

And the solution to all this? Three words...

Brown...Peanut...M&Ms

If your aims is good, they can leave a mark.

It was at the theater during this very movie that I had my only experience with a tobacco dipper.

First of all, it was in Mississippi, so go figure. Secondly, the theater was packed, and the guy was jammed in next to me. He kept raising his coke cup to his face every 15 seconds, going, "Thhpppt, thhhppt-thhppt," and that HORRIBLE smell like rotten teeth, Ben-Gay, and menthol. AGGGHHH!

I asked him to stop and he simply said, "No."

So, I went to the lobby to complain. My sentence to the manager came out as follows: "Do you allow people to chew tobacco in the theaters?" His response was, "Of course. Do you need a spit cup?"

I'm getting sick just re-reading it.

People talking during the movie, usually about the most obvious fucking things.

people crunching their popcorn really loud and people who dont use straws and slurp on there sodas oh and the tall guy who sits in front of me without fail t every single movie i have ever been to

Don't have anything to add but....

I hate groups of high schoolers/middle schoolers trying to act cool. I used to be one of them when I was young and stupid but we were only obnoxious when we were seeing a movie that had been out for awhile, never on opening weekend.

Example, I saw Scream 3 with my sister when it originally came out.. unfortunately we saw it in Cary (a suburb of Raleigh that I already hate) and the place was crowded with annoying high schoolers, chatting the whole movie, taking pictures, etc. I wanted to destroy them all and fuck I was in high school when I saw this movie!

well, most of the things i find infuriating are already here, but, yesterday, i wnt to see x-me 2, its the middle of the day, is about 20 other people in the theatre, 6 of them happen to be teenagers, maori teenagers at that, so their ensueing commentary is punctuated with frequent exclaimations of; "eh al!!, stop eating all my fuckin' popcorn al!!" , bursts of inane giggling, billy t. james style and for some reason , whenever there was a moment of relative quiet, they would make farting noises, EVERY... SINGLE... FUCKING....QUIET... MOMENT, like it was funny, maybe if you are;
A/ five years old
B/ inbred
C/ a nimrod
or D/ all of the above.
and despite frequent requests to "shut the fuck up!!" they wouldnt, when i got up to walk out at the end of the film, i saw them hurrying out and lo and behold, who is standing right there about 15 feet from us?....the ushers and security, what do they do?, nothing.
so while it was a great movie, the entire experience was negated by these 6 walking skid-marks.

Amen, brother!

anyone loud, people kicking my seat are a pain in the ass, but l usually don't go to the movies on the weekends when all the kiddies are there, so for the most part I don't get annoyed too much.

This has been a pretty long thread, surprised no one mentioned it... I get annoyed at people who come into the theater and then "save'" seats for their 20+ friends, the seats that happen to be one of the better positions in the whole seating arrangement. It's never more annoying going into a seemingly empty row and then hearing somebody say "sorry dude, saved." I'm not willing to sit there anyway, as I'm quite keen to the fact that there's good chance these people will be assholes to me throughout the entire movie, effectively ruining it.

Saving for your girlfriend is one thing, saving for your class is another.



About the babies who cry a lot.. I kind of am on the side of those who bring the babies, some moms out there don't ever have a chance to just go out and enjoy a movie because they are always at home taking care of children. It's harder than you think to find a babysitter. Granted, the crying is quite annoying, but just think.. they have to deal with this 24/7.

Long live moms.

My girlfriend and I went to see "Identity" last night and I came to a conclusion.

NEVER go see a horror flick at the theater. People feel the need to talk way too damn much. There was a group of 5 or 6 people sitting behind us...and after every scary part I heard "I KNEW THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN!" or something like that.

And then at the end of the film (don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasen't seen it, but...) one of them says "I KNEW IT WAS SO-AND-SO!" Good for you buddy, you won a cookie.

At nerdie movies, when something cool happens, Nerdy McNerdster starts laughing out loud.

i.e.: LOTR: the two towers, legolas flung his arm around the running horse and jumped on it, (Guy Behind me) MWHAAAHEEEE HAAAH *snort* HASALSUEARPFFFFFTTT.

Mr.Deflok, i have never laughed so much. the problem is its all true. amen to you

I can tune out most of the distractions when I'm into a movie, but the seat kicking drives me insane. It's usually a kid, and I feel a little badly when I have to turn all the way around and say "When you kick the back of my seat, I feel it! Would you please stop?" That's as friendly as I can make my words, but my face and my tone are deadly serious. If a parent is with them, I make sure that they get some of the eye contact.

The 15 minutes of fucking Commercials...what kind of crap is this?? Since when do we have to PAY to see the same fucking commercials that I am being bombarded with on TV all day?? At least if they were new and different commercials, that might even be entertaining, but the EXACT same ones I see on TV??? WTF???

And then after the 15 minutes of damn commercials, you get 5 minutes of previews...

Someone shoot the fucking idiot that came up with this concept.

Will someone tell the damn idiots that insist on talking through the movie behind me to shut the fuck up?? I went to see the new Matrix about a week ago and there was this group of ignorant bastards behind me cracking jokes, asking for popcorn, making fun of the film, etc...

Obviously they were to stupid to understand the film, but I was ready to take that fucking bucket of popcorn and turn it into a suppository for them...to my surprise, though...when the lights came on after the film, I looked back and was expecting a bunch of high schoolers, but instead they were all middle-aged conservative types. I guess inconsiderate assholes come from all walks of life...

"I kind of am on the side of those who bring the babies, some moms out there don't ever have a chance to just go out and enjoy a movie because they are always at home taking care of children. It's harder than you think to find a babysitter. Granted, the crying is quite annoying, but just think.. they have to deal with this 24/7. "



I disagree. Life is full of choices. If you choose to have a kid, that's great, but you do not have the right to impose your children on others. If your kids can behave during the entire movie, that's fine, take 'em all you want. If they haven't reached that point, and they start crying in a movie, you get up and leave. Your decision to have a child does not give you the right to inflict his screaming on 200 people who paid a lot of money to go see a movie. If the kid's a screamer, wait for the DVD.

Oh, and that reminds me. Another pet movie peeve of mine is the fucking idiot parents who take their kids to adult movies. There is NO WAY a 2 year old should be watching Hannibal, but when I went to see it there were almost as many toddlers as adults.

If you have a kid, that involves sacrifices. Too many people refuse to make any - they want the kid but they also want all the fun of a childless life. Sorry, but a kid is a tremendous responsibility which necessitates large sacrifices. If you're unwilling to make those sacrifices, that's understandable, but if that's the case, then don't have a kid.

You're right, this is bad enough. However, with each of these groups of people, there is always at least one of them who tries to guess what will happen before it actually happens. And he/she will always SAY IT OUT LOUD.

In Identity, it would be something like this: "It's the kid. I'll bet it's the kid."

Okay great. So what do you win for that miraculous guess? The honor and praise of all the moronic losers you came with?

SHADDDUP!

kind of strange, but those people who bring their four year olds to something with tons of cussing, and if you happen to say 'bitch' as you're walking out of the theatre, they scold you for cussing in front of their child. fucking morons.

I'll admit it, I whisper to my friends at the movies. I only do it when it isn't crowded. If there are only 30 people in the theater, there's a reason we left a 9-row buffer zone around us.

When I'm in a movie theater and anyone does anything other than shut the hell up and sit still and watch the movie, I get annoyed. You're not there to do your taxes, answer phone calls, or be a jackass, you're there to watch a movie.

Funny enough, I hate those people who don't seem to respond to the movies...Those people who seem to be in trance. I hate it man..I didn't know Vulcans watched movies!!!

On the loud teenager note though, if there's sex scenes in a movie or something funny I sometimes bust out with jokes, like I would walk all the way to the front a stand in front of the screen, oogling like fuck, or I would roll on the floor in hysterics...

It cracks people up, I'm a comedian-perfect!

:D

And it makes a perfect target for a Milk Dud, too.

Like many people I hate the "cool" thirteen year olds who do all of the obnoxious crap you've all described and more.

But more than that was one particularly bad encouter. You see, I can understand these kids going to see Pluto Nash or maybe even X-Men 2. You know there's going to be certain movies they may turn up at and you brace yourself.

But 'Road to Perdition'....WTF??!!

What's next, laser pointers during 'The Crying Game'?

The teen//pre-teen girls who giggle and sigh every time that they see the flavor-of-the-week 'hunk' and the people who ask questions that the movie answers in about 2 minutes.

Cellphones.
People who don't take their babies out of the theatre when they start crying.
And people who fucking talk during movies, it's annoying, rude, and just downright stupid. You should be watching the movie not talking.

And I fucking hate those people (usually kids/early teens/mid teens) who have this stupid urge to copy the movie they have just watched. You know them ones, who come out of "The One (Jet Li) and start replicating the movie's fight scenes with half arsed lame looking martial arts poses, or them ones who come in goody goody and start cursing after watching a curse-filled film. Goddamn fools. They're the ones that subliminal messages and marketing strategies target.

Simple solution: Movie theaters should all buy those cell phone blocking transmitters. Just turn the entire building into one big OUT OF SERVICE.

Here's a true story:

Saw LOTR: Two Towers on an afternoon about 4 weeks into the run. Maybe 30 or 40 people in the theatre. Just before the previews ended, a dad and his two kids (a boy about 7 years old and a girl about 5) sit down in the row in front of me. This can't be good.

The dad did two things that were just plaing fucking stupid. First, he covered his daughter's eyes whenever something scary was happening (which during Two Towers, is about 2 1/2 hours worth of the movie). The other thing he did was read all of Liv Tyler's subtitled dialogue to his daughter. Um, if a movie has a lot of subtitles, don't bring a kid who can't read yet. What next, a trip to see Crouching Tiger?

Clearly this was a dad who just HAD to see this movie, even if both kids were bored, scared, and just plain antsy. Bringing young children to a long, scary, dark, complicated movie is just a bad idea. And this coming from a dad (we drop our daughter off at Grandma's when we want to see a movie)

At the theater I went to, about 40 or so teenage girls started SHRIEKING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS when legolas did that. quite a bit more annoying, i'd say...

Whenever I go to see a movie, it seems that the people that sit either directly behind or directly in front of me are on the Stereotypical first date.

The girl is cooing and giggling in copius amounts. The male is preening and trying to cop a feel.

I'm trying to watch the movie but the hormone levels are too staggaring to be ignored.

And it doesn't help matters that now my local theature has installed seats where the armrests can be raised. Allowing these lovebirds to all but sit on top of each other.

Forgive the intrusion of the 80's but gag me with a spoon.

If you have kids, and you desperately want to see a movie, go to a drive in. Its cheap, your kids can roam free, and no one can hear you scream. Oh, and my pet movie peeve is teenagers in groups. One is usually decent, quite, and unlikely to launch with the popcorn rain. Two+ need a special walled, soundproof, section of the theater to themselves.

That there are other people there...

I hate anyone and everyone who sits within 3 rows of me. With very few exceptions, I don't go to a movie on opening day, and I do this for a reason. It is so that there won't be alot of fucking people there and i wont have to sit near any of them. It never fails however, that no matter where I sit, or when I sit, everyone aways readjusts themselves to crowd around me. There could be 10 people in the entire megaplex, hundred plus seat theatre, and they all will sit in a group around me. I fucking can't stand that shit, and will instantly get up and move to a more secluded spot, no matter how pissy the looks i get. My gf hates when i do this to, cuz she thinks they all hate her then. Who fuckin cares!!!
When they pay the 20 bones to get us into the movie they can sit in my lap for all i care, but until that happens, FUCK OFF and let me enjoy the movie!!!

here endeth the rant

You need some help motherfucker. ;) *he alludes to his own posts in this thread*

yeah, help beatin the piss outta anyone who sits near me in an empty fuckin theatre. Anyone interested? :)

My movie pet peeves:

1. Infants or very small children in ANY movie. Why anyone would perpetuate this sort of suffering on humanity, I don't know. Toddlers who continually utter "Mommy, who's that?" or "Mommy, what's that man doing?" throughout the movie should be instantly removed from the theater.

2. Smartass teenagers who feel it is their right and obligation to make noise simply for the sake of making noise. It really gives me a great deal of pleasure to have these little bastards removed from the theater.

3. ANYONE who talks during the movie. I just cannot understand the cretins who pay full price for a movie ticket and then talk throughout the movie. Many times, they don't even talk about the movie.

4. Self important ASSHOLES who don't have the common courtesy to put their cell phones on silent during the movie. What's worse, if the phone actually rings, they hold an out-loud conversation, then have the nerve to shoot nasty looks at the people who are shushing them and asking them to leave the theater.

5. If we can have great advances in medicine and technology, it would not be implausible to devote an entire industry and research making food wrappers and other such containers containers noise-free. I suppose that this would be asking waaaaay too much.

6. One of the earlier posters mentioned people bathing themselves in cologne or perfume, and gagging all of the people around them. I have indeed experienced this, but I have also experienced the other end of the spectrum - These subhuman food-stained t-shirt wearing assholes are sometimes (but not always) insanely obese, and barely able to squeeze into the theater seat without greasing it up first. They perpetually sweat profusely and have not worn deodorant since 1994. This happens more times than I care to admit.

7. When I am fortunate enough to see a movie in a empty or near empty theater, I usually have some twit that comes in and, despite a whole theater full of empty seats, sits either right in front of or right behind me.

Oh, I could go on all day.

It is for these reasons and others that I have curtailed my movie activities to times when I know that not many people are at the theater. I will sometimes even take a day off work (Monday of Tuesday) if there are many movies that I want to see.

the only thing i hate.. seen it twice.. got kicked out the second time.. thunderstorm in louisiana caused power outtage.. this long haired dork goes to the front as the emergency lights come on.. and says.. we were watching matrix of all movies..

"ok all we are gonna play the .. silence is golden game.. we are gonna try and be as quiet as we can.."

the second movie (x-men 1)
he did the same thing..

i yelled out.. "what do i get if i win.. pork your lame azz?" needless to say it didnt go over well..

my friend yelled back as we were asked to leave and escorted out.. "for a consolation prize.. well wait in the parking lot till you get off work.. we have a 9 iron for ya"

i could understand if it was a kids movie but the majority of peps at both movies was 25 and older.. sigh..

I work at a theater. Here is what I hate.
People who complain the floor is sticky

People who complain the floor is slippery because we just mopped it so its not sticky.

People who change thier children during a movie and leave the dirty diaper wedged in between the seats so we can't find it until 3 weeks later and the whole theater smells.

People who have sex during a movie and leave the used condom on the ground for me to pick up.

Junior High kids who come to movies in groups of 20 and insist on doing EVERYTHING together including going to the bathroom. This means that usually an ENTIRE row of kids get up in the middle of a movie at least several times during a movie.

People who ask for a certain size "drink" then stare blankly when I don't do anything.

People who say "Wow hard at work" when I'm standing there waiting to rip tickets.

When buying tickets, people who don't say the name of the movie correctly and want me to figure out what the hell they are talking about.

People who flood the bathroom when they use a broken sink. This instance occured when the drain pipe was cracked so I shut off the water to the sink at the wall. Mind you there are 3 other sinks in the bathroom but instead someone went through the effort of turning the water back on again and then use the broken sink.

People who ask for a large popcorn drenched in butter and a diet coke.

People who dont' shut off cell phones in a movie.

Junior high kids who insist on talking and running around while a movie is playing.

People who try to trick me into getting a free movie because they think I'm dumb. When infact I probably am much smarter than they are.

People who watch and entire movie, then complain because the sound was too low/high, temperature was too hot/cold, talking kids, or picture was messed up. Then they get a free movie for their trouble.

People who bring in old large cups/bags for refills and act like they are being rebelous and really getting the best of me. Mean while I know right off what they are doing but I just don't care.

I think thats it for now. I'm tired and I can't think of any more although there are MANY more.

BABY CRYING!!!!!!!!!!! BABY CRYING!!!!!!!!!! BABY CRYING!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, the WORST thing ever to happen in a movie theater. DON'T BRING EM'..............EVER!!

I hate when people think they know whats going to happen next, so they fucking say it to look cool if it does, and it ends up happening. Thats like a spoiler even though they didn't REALLY know it was going to happen. I hate that shit. And I hate little kids crying too. Get a babysitter man, shit.

...and wow dude it must FUCKING suck to work at a theater.

When we get to the theater early and are the first people there, and everyone who comes in sits down right by me instead of any of the other empty seats all around the theater.

Alright, So I'm watching League of Extraordinary Gentleman and during on stunt that involved a car driving between two collapsing buildings the bitch behind says, "That's impossible!"

Really??? Is that more or less impossible than the Invisible Fucking Man?

That really pissed me off.

Re: Post the movie theater behaviors you hate
 

Hear, hear. This should be on a sign in the lobby, in big red letters.

I can't make a list of the things that piss me off at movie theaters...because I gave up going to the movies about 5 years ago after each and every single person would do something to piss me off before the previews were over. It's much better to wait and watch them at home. If every movie theater in the world would close tomorrow, I would never know!

I usually have the normal problems with people at movies, and most of the time i take it with a grain of salt....but recently i almost flipped out. I try and go to wicked late shows as to avoid the whole children factor. But when I went to go see the Hulk there was this older lady with about 4 six-ten year old children in the row above and to the left of me. The older lady had smuggled in tons of candy and snack, and whenever one of the kids got bored (which was a alot) they would walk downt he row to the lady who proceeded to hand out candy and other treats to the chillin's. This continues the whole (very long) movie...good thing for them im not a violent man.

#1 Seat kickers.
#2 Loud popcorn/Gum/Candy chewers.
#3 People who try to skimp on the drink by getting a small. Then they end up drinking all of it by the time the previews are over. Then try to suck up the last few drops of liquid to quench their thirst. Then they try to get the melted water from the ice cubes every 15 minutes.

Maybe this is why it has been 4 years since I went to a movie theater.

I can't stand the fucking herd mentality of people in theaters. I go on a Tuesday or Wednesday night to avoid babies or teenagers. Even then with 60 or 70 seats free some numbnuts has to sit behind me crinkling a candybar wrapper or fellating the damn straw from their 20 gallon barrel of Coke, all the while, kicking my seat incessantly.

I agree wtih supersix2. I used to manage at a movie theatre and you can be damn sure that I used my power to the best of my ability to get rid of the assheads making the movie experience a horrible one for everyone else.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people try to get their three year old in for free (because they're three...and so they're special) when those are the ones that need to be charged twice as much as adults. Then the parents would think twice about bringing their kids to a movie. They get so angry when I don't let them. Hehe...
I hate it when people ask for a Pepsi (or other beverage) and expect me to telepathically figure out what size. If I ask once and they don't hear me (or ignore me) I just get them the biggest one possible and explain that was what they ordered by being silent.

Oh, and its MY fault you show up right when your movie is about to start and the lines are long? Sorry, just had to add that.

Grancey and I had an irritating experience at the movies this past weekend so I revived this thread.

We went to see "Children of Men," and really enjoyed it. We both like near-future world-has-collapsed types of movies, so this one was perfect. Except for Beavis and Butthead behind us. Here's an example:

There's a part where the lead character is being threatened by an immigration officer with a handgun. Suddenly, an immigrant runs up behind him and disables the officer with a sledgehammer. During that gripping and suspenseful scene, here's what we hear behind us - "Ooooooh, hyuck hyuck hyuck, dude awesome ooooooh hyuck hyuck dude hyuck oooooh hyuck hyuck dude....."

Kids, right? No, they were college students who were raised on "Jackass" and YouTube wipeout videos. Every single scene of violence in the movie (and there were plenty) was accompanied by "oooooh hyuck hyuck dude awesome oooooh." I can't even begin to imagine what they thought the movie was really about.

I had EXACTLY the same experience in EXACTLY the same movie!

It was two college-age couples who chatted through the whole damn movie, and said OOOOH!!! any time anyone got hit by anything.

This was, however, the first time I've had a glare over my shoulder actually shut anyone up. It was brief, but it worked.